Hi my son has just turned two he's been with us since he was 5 months can anyone tell me when is the best time to start talking with him about his birth family. We haven't started on a life story book yet but plan to as soon as possible ,is he too young too show this information? I don't want to confuse him and my dh and I are terrified of the prospect we forget that he's adopted. I know its best to start when he's young but is he too young?
Does anyone have advice when and how to start?

I have talked to DS about himbeing adoptes since hewas about 18 months (obviously he didn;t understand then) and talk about the frist day I met him etc normally as part of a bedtiem staory. HE's three this week and I have just introduced the idea of a Bvbirth mother and fatehr.

I think start asyoung as you can so you can get some pratice in before they start asking any awkward questions. The first couple of tiems you tell the story it does feel a bit stilted but flows better when you've practiced it a bit.

There is a picture book by Jamie Lee Curtis called Tell Me Again About the Night I was Born. It is about a little girl asking her mother and father to tell her about the night she was born, which was actually the night they go to the hospital to collect her. I thought it was a pretty good introduction to the subject of adoption for a young child. Mine are not adopted but they seemed to grasp the concept from the book. We read it when they were 3 or 4.

Perhaps you can get it from the library to see if it would help introduce the subject?

At this age they really respond to pictures - have you any pictures of the family?

Our DC's books have pictures of the hospital, the town,the birth family and their house, the foster carer, as well as a lot of appropriate clip art. So you can tell a simple story "You were born in xx" "when you were small you lived with YY" "they couldn't keep you safe so Social Care became involved" "You went to live with ZZ (foster home) you were very happy there". I do think younger is better, it is hard when they start asking why they can't see the birth family or go back, or are worried about them, but it's so much better than finding out as a shock at a later age.

Thankyou for the advice. We do have pictures of his birthmum and fostermum but no other pictures of his birth family or their home, he lived with his fostermum as soon as he left hospital. I agree that using a simple narrative with pictures will be the easiest way for us all to start. It looks like i'd better get started on his his life book. I think this is going to be the hardest thing for me in the whole process as its difficult to believe that someone else gave birth to him.

We've always talked about the fact that ours are adopted and gradually introduced concept of birth parents before they really understood but I think it made it easier for us all that way because we all became confident and familiar with the story. Just tried to be fairly matter of fact about it really. We don't have much (hardly any)info about their backgrounds. We stressed how much we wanted them. We answered any questions they had which weren't that many until they got much older.
I always say we've never told our children they are adopted...........they've always known and really that's how it feels because we've always talked about it with them and shown them pictures. So I would say the earlier the better - easier all round.

my mum fosters and we have had young children from birth. the best thing when they are young is to keep it simple and if you explain they will be able to grasp a basic concept that they have a 'tummy mummy' and a 'foster/adoptive mummy' without too much awkardness