What should she expect generally?

She's worried about various things having heard scare stories. She's very overweight for one thing and has a house full of dogs.

She and her DH have so much to offer a child.

Any experiences or advice I could pass on please?

sadly you are right. dogs and weight may be a problem

depends what type of child they want

Strongly suggest they shut the dogs into one room or out into the garden - not to hide them but to show how they can stay happily separate from the couple. Alternatively if they are the sort of dog to just stay quietly curled up on a dog bed then fine - but prioritise the Social Worker over little yappers! Further into the process there is a risk assessment which must be done on the dogs, and which will flag certain breeds as a higher risk.

Weight - it may be an issue depending on how fit she is and on where she lives and the policies of the adoption agency - some are more flexible than others. It will also depend on other factors - bluntly, if they are after a "healthy white baby" then there may be other couples who are perceived to have more to offer. If they are hoping for a sibling group, if they would be a good match for children of different ethnicities, if they could take an older child or a child with disabilities, then they may be more welcomed.

Some social workers can be appallingly insensitive whether or not they are planning to work with the couple or not. I hope that the visiting SW is willing to concentrate on the positives.

DSS is spot on. Dogs need to comeacross as very controllable so if they;renot, putting them in the garden is a good idea. SW will expect to see the dogssleeping inteh kitcehn/utility roometc somewhere seprate from teh family.

Weight - who knows I got through and am very overweight but was fit and healthy and my weight really wasn't causing obvious problmes. There are obviously longer termhealth issues to take into account. It willprobably comedown to how much they need parents. SOmecouncils (like mine) have very few childrne toplace of any sort.

People do come out with all sorts of scare stories, there is always someone whose auntie/friend/boss adopted kids who are now off the rails or in prison or something.

Most adopted children come with some kind of challenge but quite a lot of adoptions work out really happily. It's worth finding out more definitely.

Sibling groups are much more in need of placement if they'd be interested in a family of more than one.

THankyou all so much

Dogs are extremely well-trained and well-behaved. Also well-exercised and looked after. No dodgy breeds. I will suggest that she puts them outside or elsewhere when she has the visit.

She is about 3 stone overweight but does yoga regularly, eats a good diet and has started running. Would it be a good idea to make a point of this at the interview? Her DH is normal weight and again fit and healthy.

She has had an amazing life and now she's settled down in one place she has huge amounts to offer. SHe's been looking after 4 neices regularly for a while so more than one sibling wouldn't be a problem I shouldn't think. I very very much doubt that 'healthy white baby' would be their ideal at all.

Good news about dogs and neices. Experience of caring for children a big plus

I would guess that SW will not mention her weight directly at this point, just tell them that there will be a medical etc. If she is only 3 stone overweight she could probably lose a stone during the process and not be in the "obese" group, which I think is all they would care about.

Your friends need to do some thinking about what type of children they are interested in adopting, background issues, special needs, medical issues, contact with birth families etc

They should join Adoption Uk and read their website and all the good books they can. They can't rely on a SW to educate them about adoption as many have no training and very little experience

Thankyou katie

yes depending how tall she is (ie if she 5ft may be moreofaproblem)3 stone oeverweight isunlikely to be a deal breaker particularly if she can show ongoing slow steady weight loss during the processand a healthy lifestyle.

I was significantly more overweight than this and got approved, though I have to say I think it is getting harder.

I still think its worth having dogs in kitchen/garden/garage even if they are wekk behaved because sods law means they;ll probably get a socialworker who hates dogs. I would certianly advise that at best she puts them out and asks social worker if she is OK with dogs before intorducing them. Shows dogs have an appropriateie subservient to people role in the house...

Thanks kewcumber. She's about average height I suppose.

I passed on your comments. She had already decided the keep the hounds outside but wants the sw to know they are part of the picture so no nasty surprises down the road.

how did your friends interview go?

did she resist the urge to feed the social worker to the dogs?

Any news, OrmIrian?