I'm a foster carer, I was approved over a year ago but have not had any placements. I've been receiving children who wait and be my parent publications since I was approved. Although they haven't been particularly helpful in identifiying a foster placement, reading the profiles and other info has taught me a lot about adoption. I've also done loads of reading into all things adoption/foster related so I have a very good idea of what is involved.

I've been getting increasingly frustrated with not being able to foster. For as long as I can remember I have always wanted to foster and/or adopt one day - I persued the fostering route as my dd was a baby and I thought it was something I could do as a job as well as stay home with her. She's now 2 and I've been thinking a lot lately about adding to my family. A few weeks ago I called around a few agencies to ask about adoption, most of these said my dd would have to be at least 4 or 5, as they need a 2yr age gap and she would be the oldest.

However I've recently seen a sibling group who I really want to find out more about. The youngest is a few years older than my dd, which I actually think would be a good thing. But what I don't know is whether it's even worth enquiring. I'm not approved to adopt and guess I'd have to be before I'd even be considered?? Any thoughts?

And does anyone have any experiences of adopting children older then your bc?

I think maybe I need some straight talking adopters to give me a reality check

i have been a foster carer for five yrs if you adopt they stop the money after a period say two years. can you financilly afford to bring up someone elses child with out the financial support....all children fostered or adopted come with some kind of neglect or emotional baggage and have contact sometimes x3 or more weekly can you hack it?
it is a 24 /7 7 days a week and training and meetings at home and at ss place and also contact in various venues, i did it for 4 yrs on the trot
it is not a part time job... good luck
p.s. i am still a foster carer

You can ask. They may say no straight away, they may say yes and then change their minds, they may say yes, give you more information and then you say no, or they may say yes and you may have a bigger family!

Ask. Usually they're very excited about people interested in adopting sibling groups.

There is however a big difference between fostering and adoption. Finances is one aspect, although adoption allowances can be made in some circumstances. The other this the support - whilst an after adoption package can be negotiated you are often left to it by yourselves.

On the other hand, the children are yours. You don't need permission for every little thing you might want to do, there may well be ongoing contact but it's likely to be at a much lower level than with fostered children, and you have the freedom to treat them as your own children.

i think that most of not all agencies would insist that any adopted children were younger than any you have at home already

however, families willing to adopt sibling groups are in short supply, so its worth a phone call. you would need to find an agency who would be willing to assess you as an adoptive family, so they wouldl need to be close to you. or willing to get a local agency to do so. and willing to put the kids lives on hold while they assessed you

you do not mention a partner so i assume you are a single parent? you woudl need to think seriously about hwo you would meet the needs of several special needs children plus your 2yo DD. As well as how you woudl support your family financially.

Thank u all for the advice and encouragement, I called and it was actually a very positive outcome. It turns out they are looking for long term carers in case they don't find adopters and I am now being considered. Very early days but it looks hopeful. I'm so glad I made that call

We were foster carers and then adopted and one advantage was that the adoption assessment was much condensed as the fostering home study covers much of the same ground.

Hope you make some positive progress

Bop