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Mumsnet Discussions: Adoptions : What age gap do they need between a birth child and adoptive? (15 messages)
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Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By nolongeraworriedmummy on Tue 14-Oct-08 20:07:14
I would love to adopt a little boy, dd is 6.
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By nolongeraworriedmummy on Tue 14-Oct-08 20:18:07
am thinking dd would be 8 or so by the time the application process was complete?
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By fizzbuzz on Tue 14-Oct-08 20:53:18
Well, I was adopted when my ds was 6...I don't think she ever forgave me or my parents..

My db was 10, and he accepted it totally
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By Kewcumber on Tue 14-Oct-08 21:27:06
it varies by council or VA. Generally two year minimum gap, some ask for three.
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By Kewcumber on Tue 14-Oct-08 21:27:49
how old were you fizz?
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By mumo75 on Tue 14-Oct-08 21:28:00
most adoption agencys want a gap of 2 years or more

xx
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By hester on Tue 14-Oct-08 22:21:38
I am currently applying to adopt, and have been 'rested' in the process so that my birth daughter will be 4 by the time a child is placed with us (we have applied for a child aged 0-2).

Generally they like a bigger age gap. Yours should be fine.
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By fizzbuzz on Wed 15-Oct-08 19:25:50
9 weeks old
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By Kewcumber on Wed 15-Oct-08 20:34:49
thing is fizz at 9 weeks you were effectviely the sameas a new bron (fom her perspective) so I doubt the sibling rivalry (if that it was) was anything to do with the adoption per se just the arrival of a new sibling.

Obviously I don't know that...
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By fizzbuzz on Wed 15-Oct-08 20:39:09
But she didn't have 9 months to get used to it, she only had about 8 weeks (This was a long time ago in less enlightened times!)

Yes, a lot of it was probably sibling rivalry, but it seemed a bit more than that. She was the youngest daughter, then I arived with little warning.....
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By Kewcumber on Wed 15-Oct-08 22:44:24
yes I see what you mean about little warning. A six is certainly old enough to have been prepared a bit. I also don't think adopters were very wellprepared forhow to deal with exisitng children whereas you have to do an adopting again course now even if you are an experienced adopter which partly covers how to deal with siblings.
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By KatieMorag on Sun 23-Nov-08 19:09:43
I agree its generally about two years.

If you are a single parent you are unlikely to be able to adopt a child below school age, unless they have significant special needs.
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By thenewme on Sun 23-Nov-08 19:11:07
In my friends case it was 3 years difference.
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By PheasantPlucker on Tue 25-Nov-08 11:35:03
We were told 2 years, and the adopted child must be younger. dd1 was almost 5 when dd2 came to live with us, aged just over 1. We had been approved for 0-2.
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By PSCMUM on Tue 25-Nov-08 18:05:13
yes ,its two years at least betwen adopted child and your youngest birth child, and the adopted one needs to be younger. But, and I just had a conversation with yet another social worker / moron today who explained to me carefully that even though this whole process would take aa year, they wouldn't assess us for children who are two years younger than my youngest will be in a years time, instead they will assess me for a child who is two year younger than my child now. When I said myabe that is a bit insane, the social worker again in a patient voice explained 'adoption is not about what you want, it is about what is right for the child'


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