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Mumsnet Discussions: Adoptions : this has u[pset me (10 messages)
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Contact the poster See this person's profile Contact mumsnet about this post By misdee on Mon 13-Oct-08 19:39:07
in dd1 class there is a lovely girl who is currently being fostered with her younger sister. was speakiung to fostermum today as knew things were progressing with courts etc. they will be uof fior adoption early next year/

but due to their ages, its highly unlikely they will get adopted easily. will probably be in long term foster care.

it makes my heart break that these lovely girls may be leaving the school and area soon, and may never be adopted.
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By Kewcumber on Mon 13-Oct-08 19:58:25
how old are they? Sometimes a younger sibling is a draw and you would be surprised. Girls are also more "popular" than boys so that may well work in their favour.
Contact the poster See this person's profile Contact mumsnet about this post By misdee on Mon 13-Oct-08 20:08:25
oldest will be 9
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By Kewcumber on Mon 13-Oct-08 20:10:41
I agree its a tricky age but a lot will depend on their background and what problmes they might have. Much better chance of adoption if they have fewer behavioural problems.
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By VeniVidiVickiQV on Mon 13-Oct-08 20:10:56
oh poor things. They'll stay with foster carers until they are adopted though, yes?
Contact the poster See this person's profile Contact mumsnet about this post By misdee on Mon 13-Oct-08 20:14:34
they will find them long term foster carers.

if dh health wasnt so preciarious forever more, i would look into this more.

i just want to scoop them all up. cant belive they will be leaving. they have been with their current foster family for uite a while now.
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By dilemma456 on Mon 13-Oct-08 20:53:15
Wasn't it rather unprofessional of foster mum to talk about this to you? Surely all of this should be treated as confidential?

Very sad though.
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By hifi on Mon 13-Oct-08 21:23:27
i know one couple who were drawn in, as kew, said. they loved the 2 year old and took on the 8 year old as well. the birth mother has just had another so all 3 will be together.
Contact the poster See this person's profile Contact mumsnet about this post By misdee on Mon 13-Oct-08 21:35:00
dilemma, no idea. i just asked if the girls would be here for xmas, as i knew court was coming up. i asked what chances are etc, as i know through media campaigns its harder to palce an older child.

i dont knwo the ins and outs of why they are in foster care, but as they are part of our community (not just schoo, extra curricular activities with my older dd's and we have got to know them fairly well) we do chat as mums do.
Contact the poster Contact mumsnet about this post By hester on Mon 13-Oct-08 23:18:09
I've just done my adoption prep course, and we were told there that there is an EXTREMELY high rate of adoption break-down with older children, because the children themselves simply can't accept anybody else as their parents. So it's usually better to keep them in long term foster care (better than being with their birth parents, in a children's home, or in an adoptive placement that then breaks down).

But it depends on the individual - there have been plenty of children adopted at that age.

You're right, though - it is really sad.


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