Mumsnet Discussions - Should I, or shouldn't I (with regards to searching!) (Adoptions)

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Mumsnet Discussions: Adoptions : Should I, or shouldn't I (with regards to searching!) (5 messages)

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By jofeb04 on Wed 23-Jul-08 21:05:50

As some of you may know, I have been searching for my biological mum.

So, on facebook, there is a guy there with same surname and with large family (that I know is similar to birth mum).

This matches friends reunited.

So, question is do I message him to ask if he is related or not, and if so, how do i word it?

Thanks

X-posted in relationships as well.

By donovan on Wed 23-Jul-08 21:11:36

I would have to be quite sure, before I put myself and my 'mother' through that. What if she hadn't told anyone. I would of thought facebook would be to exposing for your mother and you, in what might be a fragile relationship. That is worded weirdly, but I hope you get what I mean.

By jofeb04 on Wed 23-Jul-08 21:12:57

It's not her, I think it is her brother. Was thinking of saying something along the lines of My cousin lived on her road etc. Was not going to say that I am related at all.

By donovan on Wed 23-Jul-08 21:59:15

I miss understood Jo, sorry. You would have to word it very carefully.

By moocowme on Wed 15-Oct-08 20:06:26

yes what you suggest sounds good. if you get a reply from him you should be able to guage how interested he is in going further.

what i would say is don't spin a big lie around why you are wanted to ask him things. sail as narrowly to the truth as possible without mentioning the real relationship.

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