Social worker visit for possible match

[sunsetbeach123]

We have a visit in a couple of days for a potential match with a 5 year old. We've been through the CPR and made a list of questions. They have had a change of foster carer so seen two versions.

Just wanted to ask if there is anything you would suggest we ask and find out about.

Thanks

[Fooksakeduckie]

Hi, hope you don't mind if I follow this thread, we're in a similar situation to yourself.

[luckylucky24]

I would be asking about behaviour. How do they react to stress? Are there any triggers that would cause a reaction?

[sunsetbeach123]

Lucky - thanks will add to list of questions.

Fook - let me know how your visit goes. good luck

[Rainatnight]

A good friend gave me good advice to ask quite a lot of detail about what life at their foster carer's is like to gauge what impact it might have had on them. Their DS came from a very tricky FC setting where he was placed inappropriately with much older kids, too many kids, and was actually a bit neglected. They think at the time that the SWs underplayed this and they underestimated the impact on him.

[sunsetbeach123]

There will be a lot of discussion regarding FC as they have had a change and are in a second placement. They are very happy in current home but same as your friend Rain the first wasn't right. So the problems that arose in the first and why will be a discussed.

Luckily we have a fantastic social worker so we will be well supported. Nothing gets passed her she's very sharp and on the ball.

[sunsetbeach123]

Just an update.

Had the meeting with social worker and it went really well. We are happy and they are happy to now proceed to the next lot of meetings before matching panel.

Hoping to meet foster carer and go to their school. Then meeting medical advisor and I was told there is a matching meeting before panel.
Not sure what to expect at these meetings.

Started this process in 2014 so it's been a long wait to this point. Even though it's exciting it's also scary. I'm trying not to get too carried away until matching panel. Keep thinking it's to good to be true and someone will say actually we are not right for them and we'll be back to square one again.

Here's hoping it will all be worth it.

[Rainatnight]

Great news! Delighted for you. Hope it all goes smoothly from now on.

[flapjackfairy]

Yes good news hope all goes well from now on.
The meetings will give you the chance to find out more about this child so write down everything you can thing of to ask fc re every day routines, likes and dislikes etc and give medical advisor a good grilling to make sure you know as much as possible before being officially matched. You can then see if there are any red flags re child needing support down the line and if so try and negotiate a support package.
The matching meeting is normally just a quick affair to rubber stamp the match before panel so nothing to get stressed about in my experience.
Oh how exciting for you good luck x

[sunsetbeach123]

Thank you. Actually looking forward to all these meetings and getting to know more about LO through them.

Just waiting to be given some dates.
The waiting just seems to never end it's like an endurance test. Just got to keep smiling and keep finding the patience I never knew I had.

No doubt will be needing all your great advice and support in the months ahead.

Thanks again.

[Kr1stina]

Personally I wouldn't ask FC details of his routine at this stage, there's plenty tine to ask after matching . The meeting with FC is probably the most informative you will have -don't waste it.

I'd focus on collecting information that you need to decide if this is the right child for you.

Later on you can ask for information that will allow you to transition him as easily as possible. So don't muddy the water with details of what breakfast cereal he likes.

Of course, if you find out that he only eats one or two foods at all, you might conclude that he has food or sensory or control issues that you will need to deal with.

So I would ask much broader questions like

what kind of child he is to live with,
who he relates to best in their family
how he plays with other kids
how do they discipline him ( you want to know thi because of how he reacts to it )
How is he with animals and babies ( even if you don't have any, you need to know if he's a risk to them )
How is he on holiday ( how does he cope with change )
How is he at school , does he have freinds
What's his relationship like with members of his birth family and what are they like with him ( I'm assuming he's had contact until recently )
How does he act when he's distressed

In general , try to be as politely curious as possible. Ask open ended questions. Avoid sounding like you are judgeing them or checking that they are following SS procedures.

Most FC will open up if asked in a way which indicates respect for their knowledge and experience.