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6 year old hitting at school

(6 Posts)
jules0513 Wed 28-Sep-16 19:02:46

I have a 6 year old adopted child in year 2 who had been with us for a year. She has made friends at school but since she has come back after the holidays she is not doing as asked and hitting and pushing. The teacher is talking about putting her on a table on her own but I feel this will make it worse. Other children have told her that they don't want to be her friend because of her behaviour which makes her hit out as she is upset. Any advice?

RatherBeIndoors Wed 28-Sep-16 19:37:57

That the teacher goes on an attachment course! Isolating, shaming, and other rejecting tactics are highly likely to escalate the behaviour. It may seem counter-intuitive but the teacher needs to either keep her close in a positive way "can you help me with this special job?" or the school needs to find some 1:1 support while everyone figures out whether this is a reaction to the transition of resuming school, or whether there's another trigger. Is it possible the return to school transition has made her remember other moves, and so feel stirred up and insecure (especially as she has been with you quite a short time)? Could the loss of her last classroom and teacher have tapped into the deep other losses she'll have experienced/feel like another rejection? Whatever has caused this, the school response needs to be nurturing (IMHO) and have a proper look at what she's finding too hard.

JustHappy3 Wed 28-Sep-16 21:14:58

On a table on her own?!?!!!! shock

PoppyStellar Wed 28-Sep-16 21:25:02

YY to what Rather says. I've just had this through from adoption UK,, it's information for schools about attachment www.adoptionuk.org/sites/default/files/Understanding-Attachment-Difficulties-flyer.pdf It might be worth giving it to them to hopefully get them to understand what you daughter is going through. There's also a really useful doc from Herts LA on supporting adopted children in schools. It's here www.hertfordshire.gov.uk/infobase/docs/pdfstore/csf0046.pdf pages 7 and 8 are a table of types of behaviour adopted children might display in school and how school can support a child displaying these behaviours.

jules0513 Thu 29-Sep-16 19:45:10

Thank you PoppyStellar they are really useful leaflets which I will take with me to school for the meeting I have arranged. I spoke to the teacher this morning and she has said that she won't put her on her own if I think this will make it worse. The school are happy to work with me to find ways to help.

PoppyStellar Thu 29-Sep-16 22:31:01

I'm glad school are listening to you. Best of luck with your meeting

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