How do i stop DC scratching me?

[JustHappy3]

Don't tell me to cut dc's nails - i may lose the plot!
4 months in - mostly going well. But dc scratches when held in our arms or feeding and doesn't respond to shouts of (genuine) pain or shows of distress or anger. Psychologist has said dc is mis-cueing (sp?) and will learn. I understand this, am not angry with dc and love dc to bits but gosh it hurts!
Has anyone any useful hints/tips? I would value your input very much.

[CrazyCatLaydee123]

How old is dc?

[JustHappy3]

Sorry - just over 1. Actually really i guess i know things will change in the long run and with constant reminding and exhortation to use kind hands and positive reinforcement it'll all be ok. Just had a weak moment last night. I should have just said "Man it's a bit hard sometimes - can i have a virtual hug off people who understand?"

[MypocketsarelikeNarnia]

((((((((())))))))))



Yes it's fucking tough at first. :)

[GirlsWhoWearGlasses]

It is tough. DD was big on smacking me in the face, but it passes.

[tldr]

I had to learn to carry DD so she couldn't hit me.

But she's a lovely, gentle wee soul now.

(((((Hugs))))))

[weefreeladies]

(((Hugs))) it's hard when they're small.

[MintyLizzy9]

DS was a fan of smacking me in the face with whatever he could get hold of. It's shit but it will stop!

We were about 4 or 5 months in when it stopped, i just did what you're doing. Towards the end I could tell when he was about to do it so would smother him with kisses and tickles whilst removing his weapon of choice from his vice like grip but he still snuck in the odd ninja swipe.

Wine helps, I'm currently slurping a nice red in a snoopy cup with a straw with my legs in DS room and my body in the landing whilst he goes through a phase of only going to sleep if he can see a body part.

[Clockworklemon]

I don't know, but ours did at the same age and has now stopped a year later. Photos from last summer show us with scratches on our faces.

She just seems happier now and more able to regulate herself. Hang in there it gets easier. And yes wine and friends who don't judge help

[tldr]

minty, you hope it's a phase...

[MintyLizzy9]

It IS a phase and will pass VERY soon [sobs]

My back won't survive much longer but I am becoming very skilled at the silent departure 👀

Still better than getting a mini JCB to the face every hour sorry just!!!

[JustHappy3]

Thank you so much for the hugs and the wine, the cake and flowers. I have worried i'm drinking too much - couple of glasses a night to relax - but it is actually quite tough isn't it?!

[tldr]

It's phenomenally hard, and no-one who has not done it will appreciate quite how hard it is, which just makes it seem harder.

About 4 months in, I started finding it easier to just get through the days, but it took a few months more before I felt like I was enjoying it.

I'm the wrong person to talk about wine with though, I've never been shy of having a glass or several.

[MintyLizzy9]

I need no excuse for a wine or 3 but dear god as much as I love my DS there are days I am wondering if a glass with the morning snack would be pushing it

I think parenting is just bloody hard be it by birth or adoption but as an adopter I (like most others) don't know DS full history, what happened, what he witnessed and I am guilty of assuming the worst and second guessing a lot of what he does when in reality he's a 2.5 year old child discovering himself, the world and his place in it and therefore being a bit of a git is totally 'normal'!

Many if not all of our children will have some delays and it's hard to remember this sometimes if they are doing well in most other areas. My LO is the same height as my friends 4 year old, he is as sharp as a tack in soooo many ways but so very young in other things so when people (myself included) look at him it's hard not to expect more.

It's amazing to watch when he takes a little step forward and so frustrating when he takes two back but for us anyway the steps forward are outweighing the backward steps and this is what keeps me going through the tough days and shitty nights

That and wine

[JustHappy3]

Thanks so much everyone - and from DH.