Hello again!
Adoptive daughter (10months) has been with us nearly a month. After a rocky start, I am much better bar one thing...her crying. I need some reassurance from fellow adopters.
During the day my daughter gets all my attention and is generally happy (minus teething etc). I comfort her and tend to her needs quickly. She has become clingy to me and that's fine, she is happiest sitting on my lap playing (god I have a bad back now!).
She has suddenly got into the habit of crying before sleep though. She came with a good routine, always liked sleep. We have kept that routine, including all the music etc she was played at fc. She has begun crying the minute I put her down. It can be a grizzle or full on scream.
This is where I feel like I'm failing her...i suppose I have been doing some gentle "controlled crying", or trying to but I'm not sure that is a good idea as she has had a big life change. I'm also extremely sensitive to her grumbling/crying, to the point where It gives me upset tummy. I'm getting through anxiety but this is the last sticking point!
When I leave her room, a lot of the time her screams will suddenly silence or turn into a grizzle. If they don't, I go back to check and shush her, then leave again. She gets furious! However, she is normally asleep within 10-30mins.
I feel like I should be picking her up and comforting her but I know that all her needs have been met and as soon as she sees me she turns the tears off and starts giggling! Then yells when I leave.
I'm utterly torn. On one hand I don't want her to feel abandoned but on the other, she needs to sleep and I won't survive if I have no sleep.
Sorry, this is such a ramble. I don't want her to be unhappy and she is always so happy to see me. Is it normal for her to grumble? She has developed a lot in the month with us and seems more aware.
Just need reassurance I'm not damaging her. Or advice!!
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Bit of reassurance?
32 replies
blueskywithclouds · 26/05/2016 20:33
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