I've seen some old threads on this topic but they seem inactive so hopefully a new one will stimulate some advice.
I am a 39 year old adoptee who has two children and is generally seen as successful in life. I have meet both my biological parents, with different consequences and sadly both my adoptive parents have died, one when I was 19 and the other when I was 30.
Most of the time I feel I'm an independent adult but every so often I seem to have phases of negativity centering around relationships and expecting too much from people/feeling dissapointed by them. Having reached this age I'd like to try and get these emotional issues resolved as I feel I can get angry with my other half and children far too quickly and that I'd be a better person if I could put these feelings in a box once and for all, or at least develop better coping mechanisms.
I have a relationship with my birth mother but my feelings have changed towards her over the years as I've had my own family, from feeling total forgiveness to getting more resentful that she really doesn't seem to realise the impact she's had on my life. I have spoken to her about it in the past but think ultimately I've expected her to be my mother, and as life goes on I realise she never really will be and at best is a friend. I know this is better than nothing but it's hard reconciling what I thought our relationship would be (her spending her life trying to make it up to me) compared to what it actually is (She's very nice when I call but ultimately gets on with her own life and I could not hear from her for weeks/months at a time). I know she doesn't owe me anything and I must have been someone she let go of along time ago but basically I don't want this shite dragging me down emotionally anymore., life's too short!
I'm looking for a counsellor but feel unless they are really experienced in adoption it could take a long time to get nowhere. Does anyone recommend anyone or know of any groups in the UK where I could find support, perhaps even give it to others in a similar situation to me?
Any thoughts appreciated :-)
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53 replies
Humsta · 11/04/2016 20:36
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