I have name changed.
LO has been with us for a while and is in reception.
we have received a letter from BM - which I am pleased about because I just want LO to receive something from BM.
However, the content has totally thrown me. Last year's was in a similar vein but this year - the letter said things like "all your grandparents send you kisses and love and hugs" (can just about cope with this. And fully expect the BM to say something like that but for some reason felt slightly unnerved by this.)
Then BM went on to say "Sorry my letter is short. It's just because you don't write letters to me yet. When you do, we can both write lots of long letters to each other." The letter is written to LO rather than me and DH.
BM has never been forthcoming about any of her personal history (and she is foreign so SS's investigations into her background yielded v little - though LO was born and adopted over here from care) and it really annoys me and even upsets me that she won't tell LO anything now until LO can write...
I am grateful that she wrote but the letter is not one I can share with LO for a while - maybe not until she/he starts secondary school. I have asked SW to perhaps write to BM to explain how letterbox is meant to work.
It saddens me because there is hidden blackmail - ie I will only tell you something about myself when I can correspond with my child - not with the adoptive parents.
Sorry for rant but the letter has haunted me a bit. And not sure at what age it would be appropriate to share with LO.
Would you share that sort of letter with LO? Or wait until early teens? am I being too sensitive?
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Letter from Birth Mother - WWYD?
15 replies
Adopter12345 · 18/11/2015 18:50
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