Adopted adults - parenting style

[onlyoranges]

I just wondered for those of us who were adopted who do you parent like? My mum and I have very different styles. I had a very unhappy childhood and wonder am I parenting in a way to avoid my own childhood experience or are my genes kicking in and I parent like my birth mum? Just wondered really. Anyone else thought about this?

[Leeza2]

I don't know, it's an interesting question

I also had a very unhappy childhood and I definitely try to parent in a Completely different way . I've only met my BM briefly and don't know what kind of mother she is . She was pretty callous in her behaviour towards me ( I mean when we met as adults ) but she may be a good mother to her other children.

I know my BF well and he's a very "detached " father. Although he was around when my half siblings were small, he left all their care to their mother. He just busied himself with his career .

And now they are adults and he's split up with their mother, and retired , he has practically nothing to do with them . They have to do all the running to see him and he rarely sees his grandchildren ( maybe once every few years ).

So I sincerely hope I'm not like either of them TBH. Seems a bit of bad luck to have 4 crap parents . Hope it's not me