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Adoption

single adopter with BC

3 replies

melaniewiggles909 · 29/03/2015 12:31

Hi, I'm currently in stage 1 of the adoption process, I'm single with a BC and a clear custody arrangement (court order) with my ex. The relationship with my ex is difficult, he is very controlling and as a result the court order is detailed and adhered to rigidly, I am resident parent. My agency are now telling me the fact that the custody arrangements are so strict is going to cause a problem for my application to the point that they may not proceed to stage 2 with me. I'm gutted that the actions of my ex can interfere with my life to the point that they may prevent me from adopting. Does anybody have a similar experience or any advice? Thank you.

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99pokerface · 29/03/2015 14:05

Can you elaborate on the arrangemnts we may be able to tell you weather it's worth going else were ECt

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melaniewiggles909 · 29/03/2015 18:59

Arrangements are "standard", every other weekend and one night in the week. The issue seems to be exes need to try and control every situation and the inflexibility of the arrangements to try and keep a bit of distance between us.

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slkk · 30/03/2015 02:38

Our arrangements are not rigid as such as we will alter if needed but this happens really rarely as arrangements are very detailed, clear and established. They are also court ordered. Our agency saw this as a positive as your lo will need routine and will need to avoid last minute changes and chaos. Our adopted ds settled into the termtime arrangements very quickly but struggled in the holidays as routine was different. Try to describe your situation as a positive one: child will have a structured routine and you will know in advance what is happening, they will have time alone with you for bonding and age appropriate activities as well as time with their sibling (our lo really needed toddler time with me as older sibs are quite boisterous). Arrangements are established and stress free. Good luck. Maybe look for another agency if no success with yours.

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