Initial Visit Disaster

[mistlejo]

Hi,

My husband and I are really early on in the stages of the adoption process. We had our initial home visit and all went swimmingly, except one thing. We have two medium sized dogs who were really boisterous and barked loudly at the social worker (who didn't like dogs). Everyone was nervous and they seemed to pick up on that, chasing around and barking like mad - more so than usual!

Everything else is fine but the dog issue is written up negatively (although, sadly, completely accurately) in the report. They are very friendly and soppy dogs when they settle down, eternally loyal to family but the first five minutes are always loud and because the lady wasn't a dog person we never got to the 'settled' part.

Is this sort of thing a dealbreaker? Should we assume that we are unlikely to be approved while we have our dogs? I've come away from today with all my hopes dashed :(

Thanks for any advice or help from people who have been there.

Jo

[Daisiemoo]

We have two dogs, one of which cries constantly every time SW visits. We got approved and have had children placed with us so don't worry!
Providing they are happy to take you through to the next stage your assessing SW will get to know you and your dogs over a longer period of time. Your dogs can then show off how calm they can be! X

[mistlejo]

Thanks for that, I feel a bit more at ease! Such a panicky situation anyway and then animals playing up on top!!

[Devora]

Dogs seem to come up fairly regularly as an issue on this forum. Lots of people DO adopt with dogs, but I think you'd be wise to think carefully through a dog management plan.

First, are your dogs going to be there every time your sw visits? If she doesn't like dogs, she will likely notice their noise (and small, and hair) far more than you and find them more of a distraction. You might want to think about how you can keep them quieter, or perhaps someone could take them for a walk? At the very least, a good long walk before she comes?

Second, don't be surprised if the sw starts to question what will happen if you are approved to adopt a child who doesn't like dogs. This seems a common question, and causes lots of upset. Most cases, the sw is not suggesting that you should rid of the dogs just in case; but they may be testing where your priorities would ultimately lie. So don't just reassure her that your dogs love children and most children love dogs; take the question seriously, demonstrate your sensitivity to what children in care may have been exposed to, be clear that your bottom line is what's best for the children.

[RhinosAreFatUnicorns]

Our dog is very much the same. Giddy at first, then snoring at our SW's feet 10 minutes later. Our DD's SW was not a dog person at all. Thankfully our SW was. But we took it very seriously, had plans in place should Ddog and DD not be compatible, she be allergic etc. We had downloaded the BAAF guide to dogs and adoption, showed we had done research etc.

So don't panic. Can you try distraction with the dogs. If we have a visitor due that is not a dog person, we tend to offer a chew the minute the doorbell rings. Food is a higher priority than guests, and then after he has taken time to eat it, it all tends to have settled down.

[hackneylady]

Poor you, that sounds so stressful! I'm v scared of dogs (though working on it!) and looking at it from your SW's point of view, I would have just thought 'crikey, what would these dogs do to a child?' I KNOW that your dogs are safe and that you wouldn't ever let anything happen to a child but for those of us who are scared, we just see killers where other people see cute mutts.

The only thing that makes me feel safe around a boisterous dog is to see that the owner is totally in control, so can you do anything about this? Or maybe put them in the garden when she visits?

[PuzzledByLife]

We had four dogs at the start of the assessment process - one died just before matching panel. There were lots of questions throughout and at panel, as DS was supposedly scared of dogs. Obviously, we said we would re-home the dogs if there was no alternative.

Turns out the dogs that are in more danger from DS than the other way round.

[imkeepingeverythingcrossed]

I know how you feel!!! My dog constantly barks at out sw. And she is not a dog lover so never goes to pet him which I wish she would cause he would run a mile as he is soft as anything. Anyway fast forward a year later and we've been approved and meeting potential little ones sw on Wednesday. To try and ease it a little so he doesn't bark at her as much I started meeting her outside at the car and all walking into the house together which seems to work. Goodluck and hopefully you'll be fine.

[Desmoulinsonatable]

Our gorgeous pooch spent the initial SW visit clambering on the back of the sofa and trying to be inclusive by offering her a slobbery chew to hold. Sadly she didn't like dogs! He ended up described as being a slavering beast!luckily our actual assessing Swloves him and all is well

[SunshineAndShadows]

Perhaps consider doing some training in calm relaxed behaviour, separate your dogs away with a baby gate and give them a stuffed Kong/rawhide chew etc before the SW arrives

[Booboostoo]

I don't have any experience of adoption but I do know that you can work on the dogs's behaviour and that can only be of benefit to everyone.

Work on each dog at a time before you attempt to train both together. Use a friend as an accomplice who comes to the door. Get the dog's attention on you before the person approaches and reward with treats, if the dog jumps up/barks/etc the accomplice folds her arms, turns her back and walks away, waits a bit and comes again. You both reward good behaviour. You'll be surprised at how quickly you can get over this.