second letter

[OurMiracle1106]

And despite the promises etc it's late again. I feel so let down yet again. They know i look forward to hearing from him and it's not tje adoptive parents that don't bother it's the local authority. If this early into the adoption contact isn't being maintained how can I expect or even hope that it will be over the coming years?

[Lilka]

I'm so sorry Miracle xx

Of course they are letting everyone down if they can't do everything within a reasonable time frame as promised. Unfortunately this has also been my experience - whilst some things gets through on time, it's just as frequently late. A couple of years ago, the placing LA managed to keep DD2's birthday card from her birth mum in their possession so long it didn't get here in time even though it was written and reached them several weeks in advance, which was not nice for DD at all. However it has always gotten through in the end - and if you keep pushing them, they will pass the stuff onto you. As long as your son's parents keep writing, you will receive their letters if you can nudge the LA along. And of course you shouldn't have to do that, of course not, and it's not fair.

Really hope it gets to you soon

[FamiliesShareGerms]

What Lilka said. Do keep chasing and chasing.

It shouldn't be like this. We are never chased by our SS, and they are similarly casual in pressing for the return letters from birth family. I think it just isn't a priority for them, even though it's clearly important for everyone else.

[OurMiracle1106]

It feels like they are taking away our sons rights to contact with his birth mum and he is the one who is going to miss out. Social services are supposed to do what's best for the child so how is delaying contact doing him favours especially when he gets to an age when he is old enough to know when the letters are due, and ppossibly be anxious, nervous or excited and it could cause him unnecessary stress.

[FamiliesShareGerms]

Well quite, Miracle.

[UnderTheNameOfSanders]

Sorry to hear the upset this is giving you.
How late is it?
Why do you say it is the LA that is causing the delay?

Our contact agreement is by month. But from our part that may be the beginning or the end of the month. Normally we start at the beginning of the month, but it takes between 1-4 weeks to get written (especially if DDs want to write something too).

Sometimes if one of the girls has had a 'blip' I may want to wait a couple of weeks so I can be honest and upbeat.

Then it goes to SS. They have one person responsible for letterbox, so if she is away or busy on something else, there may be a delay in copying and checking it.

For the response we have always made it clear to our girls that there will be delays, and a response will come when it comes. They don't get anxious waiting for it and we certainly never give a 'due date'. They like the letter when it comes, but we manage expectations.

We don't get prompted by the LA, we just send out letter when it's due.