Head may explode (matching) just a vent...

[Choccyjules]

Hello lovely Adoption Area people.
Went to a second Activity Day today and have come home even more confused! Basically we met two of the children we have previously had information about and on leaving each of us felt more drawn towards the other. Great, eh.
We are also waiting for further info about a child from the first day we went to. So there are now three possible children, all different. It feels so so hard knowing they all need families, yes I know others will (hopefully) parent the two we eventually say no to but this process really makes my head hurt.
Am just calming down from the event so I know this is a bit of an outpouring.

[Italiangreyhound]

Oh am so sorry but stay with it, try and be open minded and also try and be a bit practical, all three will have different 'issues' etc, which do you as a family feel best able to cope with.

Please pm me if you want to talk. I feel like I am on this journey with you! (I expect a lot of others do too!)

Routing for you, try not to feel guilty at all. None of these children are your responsibility yet. Your only 'responsibility' (if there is one at all) is to work together as a couple to work out what will be the best outcome for you all.

[Choccyjules]

Italian, you are very much on this journey with me, sorry about that
In a way I am cross with myself as we are so lucky to have now been on two of these days and have three strong potential links. I should surely be able to get a grip and pick one.

[Velvet1973]

I don't envy you choccy, as you know I was there too and for us it was a clear potential match that we both set our hearts on. I have no idea how I'd cope with having 3 in the frame and DH and I not agreeing on a strongest match.
It's hard enough knowing that so many others were also interested in the same child so we are unlikely to progress further. Just trying to remain positive that if it's meant to be it will be and if not it's because "our" child is yet to come to us.

[Barbadosgirl]

We had three in the frame (our baby, another baby and a sibling group). I know we made the right choice but the babies we "rejected" for want of a better word still play on my mind. You can only make the right choice for you and remember something very important I was told in the process: you cannot feel guilty or responsible for very child waiting for a family, it is not your fault they need families and you can only offer so much. Good luck xxx

[RhinosAreFatUnicorns]

Good luck with the decision - I can't imagine how hard that is. Would agree with everyone else - you can't feel guilty. The other children will meet their families. X

[Choccyjules]

I know I shouldn't feel guilty; I think I am feeling this way because here are three possible new members of our family, on paper (and from brief meetings) and rather than making a decision my head is spinning.

I do believe my gut has now narrowed it down to two, despite the fact I was hoping the other one would be 'verified' as 'the one' yesterday.

[Choccyjules]

Velvet I am so happy to hear that you felt a strong connection to one of the children there

[Velvet1973]

I think that's why it was easier for us Choccy as you say you'd hoped yesterday would "verify" your choice but obviously just added to your confusions honk . For us they were the only one there that we really felt connected to despite spending the least amount of time with them. As I said though we are remaining (or trying to be) level headed as I don't think we will be lucky enough with so much interest.
As I said though I do believe everything happens for a reason so if it's not meant to be with this one it will be because there is a perfect match for us elsewhere.
I can only imagine how hard it must be for you to have to narrow it down and with the added factor of your birth child to increase the difficulty in your decision. At least Dh and know it's only us that our decision affects.
Good luck and hope things get clearer for you.

[Velvet1973]

Lol sorry no idea what I'd put that the flipping iphone spellchecked and changed to "honk"!

[Choccyjules]

Thanks and I hope we aren't going to turn out to be one of the people interested in the child...

[Velvet1973]

Well if you are, you are. You'd be

[Velvet1973]

Sorry stupid phone! You'd be one of many. The important thing is these children find their right families.

[Choccyjules]

[Italiangreyhound]

Velvet I thought 'honk' was a thing people said! Like lol! Maybe we should start it, honk!

[Velvet1973]

Lol Italian! I still have no idea what it was supposed to say.

[Italiangreyhound]

No worries, honk!

Choccy thinking of you.