Reference questionnaire help

(4 Posts)
DelightedAuntie Sun 01-Jun-14 20:57:56

My brother and sister-in-law are beginning the adoption process. I am delighted for them as well as in awe quite frankly :-)
They already have a DS (4) but always wanted a larger family and feel this is the best route. I believe that they will provide a loving, caring accepting home to their adopted child and am truly happy for them.
I was also very pleased when they asked me to be one of their references. I have received the questionnaire today and I am now terrified ;-) I want to express how good I think they will be but also acknowledge that they know that this won't just be plain sailing and that there will be issues along the way.
Anyway a couple of questions have really flummoxed me..
1. What are you most looking forward to in meeting your relatives adopted child?
My mind is honestly blank - I am excited at meeting them and seeing our family knit together as well as all of our DCs playing together but nothing specific and in no way differently than I was to when she gave birth to her DS. What are they driving at?? Have I missed the point of the question?

2. What makes me thing my relative will make a good adoptive parent?
Now I have ideas about this one but I am frightened of missing something that would make them particularly good candidates. Should I reference their parenting style with DS, patience and adaptiveness in general???

Thank you so much for any help that you can offer and good luck to everyone on this journey

UnderTheNameOfSanders Sun 01-Jun-14 21:08:18

1. What are you most looking forward to in meeting your relatives adopted child?

Suggest you write:
I am excited at meeting them and seeing our family knit together as well as all of our DCs playing together

2. What makes me thing my relative will make a good adoptive parent?

Suggest you ^ reference their parenting style with DS, patience and adaptiveness in general^

As long as you write sensible positive things you can't really go wrong, I think. It's not like CV writing, it's more like making sure their friends and relatives don't have negatives to raise.

If there is space somewhere you could always write something like "I think they would make excellent adoptive parents as can be seen by the way their DS is parented. I would have no doubts in letting them care for my own DCs if we were unable to for any reason".

HumpsforHalfMile Mon 02-Jun-14 00:40:50

I would imagine that they're going to speak to you too. If that's the case then you'll have the opportunity then to follow up with anything else you maybe wanted to say.

Sharon09108 Mon 02-Jun-14 21:46:19

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

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