Present for brilliant foster carer

(19 Posts)
MrsBW Mon 19-May-14 22:41:52

As above...our FC had been brilliant...really gone above and beyond.

We'd like to get her something to remember our children by.

Any suggestions??

TIA!!

MrsBW Mon 19-May-14 22:42:21

has been

Maryz Mon 19-May-14 22:45:22

The best present you can give is keeping in touch.

So maybe a photgraph album with a couple of photographs and a promise of filling it up over the years?

MrsBW I feel very grateful that the foster family have done such an amazing job of caring for our son before we met him.

The social worker suggested a card and maybe flowers.

That did not sound much and yet I think it would be impossible to think of anything grand enough to really say thank you enough! If you know what I mean. Our social worker said the card and flowers should be from our son. But of course he can't write the card himself. In a way it is a very odd present, it is very hard to think of a gift on behalf of another person, who may not completely want to leave! A kind of farewell present from someone who doesn't really want to say farewell! So in a way it is more of a token. That is how I view it. I am sure all our kids will want to be with us but that last day in the foster carers care can be a very emotional one I am sure.

These are just my thoughts.

I would also think we need to be aware of when to give the gift and how it will be received. The day children come home for good will be very emotional for all and so having a very dramatic gift or something elaborate that needs lots of unwrapping may be too much for all. It might be easier to give the gift the day before or leave it to be unwrapped later.

I do like Marz's idea of an album.

I guess in the long run the greatest gift we can give the foster carers is to make brilliant parents to our children.

We will send lots of photos and have texted photos during introductions to show he is having fun. We have already talked about how we will stay in touch. It feels very emotional thinking about it.

Good luck MrsBW, all the best.

have4goneinsane Tue 20-May-14 02:18:19

our DD's FC was in the process of re-doing her garden and had already marked out a rose bed - we found a rose called "little miss" (or something similar) and gave that as a present - something that suited her circumstances, the timing, and our DD

What a lovely idea have4goneinsane.

When we had donor eggs we bought jewellery for the donor as a way of remembering the kind act she did for us. There were three different donors and they each got something different. I guess in a way that was because there was nothing else to remember the possible child by (the treatment failed so no child to remember but the act of kindness was there). But for children who have been in foster care I guess there may already be lots of memories and photos and maybe keepsakes of their time together.

It's a great idea for a thread MrsBW, I'd love to hear what others did.

PS My social worker saying ...the card and flowers should be from our son. was that just her view or have other people's social workers said stuff like that (rather than the gift being from us)?

mrssprout Tue 20-May-14 03:41:58

We had a little boy with us from newborn with a view to staying with us (care set up is different over here). When another sibling was found in the system that needed to be placed with him circumstances changed & a family was found to adopt them both & each year (for about 15 years now) they send us their christmas update letter & card with a photo. It has been lovely to see him grow up.

wonderpants Tue 20-May-14 07:12:32

As a foster carer, the biggest gift you could give me is letting me know how the LO gets on. A card is lovely, flowers a bit naff (and I love flowers). I would be really touched if a small gift was bought for my children to recognise their relationship.
But a warm thank you, and a very genuine promise to keep in touch would mean the world!

Hels20 Tue 20-May-14 08:17:50

We sent the family a card, telling them how thankful we were etc. And then we gave some vouchers to the foster family's children - from our DS - but it was reasonably close to Christmas.

fasparent Tue 20-May-14 09:21:10

As FC's for many years all parents have many ways of saying thank you every one is much appreciated, as I walk up our garden path, we have tree's, rose's, such memory's , every day ., Lovely thank you cards yummy choc's, Lots of updates and photo's , all makes it all worth while

Thanks

DwellsUndertheSink Tue 20-May-14 09:31:11

I will soon have to say goodbye to one of my LOs, and the greatest gift I could hope for is a couple of photos every year and a little letter to tell me how he is getting on, and to allow me to send him a present at christmas and birthdays, if it doesnt distress him too much.

Maryz Tue 20-May-14 09:41:38

I've just had a thought - if the family have other children, or many foster children, what about a year pass to some sort of nearby attraction; local zoo, farm park, adventure playground, that sort of thing?

That would make a fantastic present for the entire family.

Buster51 Tue 20-May-14 12:02:28

We went down the thank you card / flowers route from DH and I. We posted it to them after he moved in with us (as we didn't want to make it harder for them the day he came).

The 1st night of DS being at home we all drew little pictures / cards as a family to post to them the next day, I asked DS what he wanted to say etc and we put that in with the pictures.

We have since made homemade birthday cards/Easter cards for FC/emailed photos and have had a couple skype calls. So fingers crossed they will realise how thankful we are as they did a fantastic job with our little boy smile

RhinosAreFatUnicorns Tue 20-May-14 20:10:33

We did a card for our FC and bought presents for their DD and Foster son who we had spent time with.

The day was very difficult and I personally felt awkward about getting them a gift that day. The presents for the children were well received.

I think the fact that we kept to our promise to keep in touch, sending pictures quite often and meeting up was really appreciated smile

AngelsWithSilverWings Wed 21-May-14 08:27:12

DS's FC loves having photos of her foster children up ( her walls are covered! ) so we bought her a nice set of frames which she absolutely loved.

DD's got a huge bouquet of flowers and a nice bottle of fizz for her to enjoy with her DH but I'm not sure that would be appropriate in all cases - it was just the right gift for her though and she really appreciated them.

FamiliesShareGerms Sun 25-May-14 20:27:43

We gave them a tree in a pot "from" DD. And do keep in touch smile

MrsBW Sun 25-May-14 20:40:25

We gave her a blank photo album with a note thanking her and a promise to keep in touch and send photos to fill it.

Thank you so much for all your ideas... Pressie was very gratefully received!

Maryz Sun 25-May-14 20:50:02

Oh, goodie.

Someone took my idea [smug]

grin

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