How clean?

[nervouslurker]

So, home visit this week- I'm right at the start. I've seen people joking on here about biscuits etc. So, a) chocolate hob nobs? Everyone loves those, right? Or should it be home made victoria sponge? And b) how clean does the house need to be? I'm assuming the fact that the homework table will have homework piled on it, etc is okay? Will the SW want a tour of the house at this stage? I use a floordrobe, do I need to madly sort this?

Sorry if this is annoying, and you have hundreds of threads on this- could you point me in their direction? Thanks.

[CarCiKoTab]

Just relax, I unfortunately don't have any experience what so ever in adoption but I certainly take my hat off to you! Now I probably wouldn't worry about the house being too clean, you want it to be child friendly/safe I imagine and just be yourself, you clearly want this. If your worried about things such as the floordrobe, tidy it but, I can't imagine it being a contributing factor. Biscuits may be nice but don't stress yourself out just make sure you relax and enjoy it. Hope this has helped.

[LocoParentis]

Yes chocolate hob nobs, (milk or dark is the tough decision).
Personally I'd make sure the house was definitely clean and relatively tidy. I wouldn't worry about the homework stuff but I'd absolutely rehome the floordrobe to the bottom of the wardrobe just in case.
Ours didn't ask to see the house on the initial visit but did visit the loo so had to walk through a fair bit of the house to get to it. I think others have taken their SW around the house on the first visit so I would err on the side of caution.
Good luck

[Italiangreyhound]

nervouslurker Our social worker did want to look around. I am guessing she wanted to check we had the space, so we did up the room as it would be for little one. I did go mad cleaning but not saying you should. Having 'evidence' of child/children around is probably a very good thing. Good luck.

[HappySunflower]

My visiting SW wanted to look round too.
I did tidy and clean everywhere, for starters it was one less thing to worry about, secondly, it burned off some nervous energy.
My (now dd's) bedroom was a junk room when she came and was piled high with car boot sale stuff and Christmas decorations. She was fine with that but just needed to see that I had the space for the child to have eir own bedroom.
Homework stuff-leave it. They will want to see normal living too!

[Polkadotpatty]

I cleaned like a lunatic. Then two-thirds of the way round the house started to panic that it now looked too obsessively clean to be comfy for a child! I had no choice but to continue though, as stopping would have looked even odder

My SW(s) have all wanted to have a nose around, but they have only stuck their head into each room to see that it looked safe and wasn't secretly housing a monster / ten sets of bunk beds for lodgers / some kind of weapons cache.

As long as your place looks moderately organised and the important bits (kitchen and bathroom) are clean, sit down and try not to eat all the hobnobs before they get there! Hope all goes well for you

[UnderTheNameOfSanders]

Whatever standard of clean you present for the first home visit, you may feel obliged to keep up for all the subsequent ones!

As long as it's not squalid it'll be fine

[Italiangreyhound]

Polkadotpatty laughing at the ...they have only stuck their head into each room to see that it looked safe and wasn't secretly housing a monster / ten sets of bunk beds for lodgers / some kind of weapons cache.

[Kewcumber]

Sorry I think chocolate hobnobs are too frivolous - very risky. Choclate digestives a safer bet, if you want to appear intellectual then dark chocolate digestives.

SW will not eat them and will ask for a glass of water which they will also not drink. Someone will try to convince you that their social worker did eat the biscuits and drank a cup of tea but they were an imposter - no social worker even eats teh biscuits its somehwere in the sw code of practice.

Your house must be spotless - cleaning everything twice is good and shove all the floordrobe clothes frantically into a cupboard. SW will not look in your bedroom but will keep you occupied instead of panicking about visit and stop you sitting there thinking "please don;t ask to see the bedrooms,.... please don;t ask to see the bedrooms..."

[MrsM2509]

Our sw has never touched a biscuit at ours, she doesn't eat them as I think she's been inundated with biscuits over the years. She has only ever had two cups of tea at ours, but it was basically hot water as she takes it so weak. She does however drink diet coke when she comes round so we always make sure we have that in

[MrsM2509]

And kew is spot on about the cleaning! Our sw didn't venture into a room other than our lounge until about her 3rd visit

[MissFenella]

Clean and tidy as if an aged Aunt was going to visit.

[Hels20]

I always wash the kitchen floor and entrance hall (tiled) with Flash lemon an hour before she comes.

More clean than tidy. And I make sure there are no safety hazards.

She won't eat biscuits...or drink tea or coffee...unless v early in morning...

[TheSarcasticFringehead]

I'd say it should clean but look homely iyswim? So homework table should have homework on, don't have it obsessively clean, make it look like a cleaner version of an average day, not a show room.

I think custard creams, not hobnobs.

[Mutley77]

I am (was) an assessing social worker! Yes to biscuits and it's a bit 50/50 if I will have one - usually at a first visit I would to make you feel relaxed but otherwise it depends what I have/haven't eaten that day and how worried about my weight I am currently! I always always have tea though (and drink it) even if I have to interrupt myself....

And I don't really look at tidiness (sorry) - would only be worried if house was unhygienically dirty.Overly tidy doesn't worry me as many people keep their house like that (before children!!!)

[64x32x24]

Our initial visit SW had a look round the house. We had our poor cat locked in the bathroom because she had been poo-incontinent for a few days (she is quite poorly) and been leaving drops and piles of poo everywhere - yuck - and this way at least it was constrained to the bathroom. SW didn't seem to mind despite the fact that the bathroom literally stank.
Our assessing SW did too on her first visit. Very cursorily though, she didn't even notice that the wardrobe door in DS bedroom was leaning against a wall (waiting to fall on top of a boisterous child) instead of being attached to the wardrobe.

Our assessing SW never took anything I offered, but she did try DP's homemade cakes (in their one-to-one sessions) and clearly liked one kind better than the other. I think the cakes even made it into the PAR!

[HappySunflower]

My social worker never had a drink or ate the biscuits but the DID eat my cake! Lemon drizzle was her favourite.

[nervouslurker]

Okay, given I'm a WOTH single mother, cleaning everything once is an achievement! I'll sort out my room a bit, at least hide the mess. The playroom is covered in toys... I have plans to build cupboards/shelves, but surely toys are a good thing? I am hoping a few of you are joking here, or you have way way more time than I do! I don't want to set the benchmark too high for future visits.

So, homemade cake it is, then. Didn't want to appear too 'try hard', but I suppose when you're saying 'please give me a child', you can't try too hard!

Do I need to mow the lawn?

[nervouslurker]

And, if they venture into the kitchen cupboard, they'll probably die from an avalanche of pasta on their heads...

[nervouslurker]

And I have no concerns over being 'overtidy'. I wish. I'll set the pyrolitic oven tonight!

[nervouslurker]

Phew about the hair!

It's this week! The weekend before is gone!

I do love baking, actually, so spending the night before doing that rather than stewing is probably a good plan.

[Devora]

Mutley, don't lie. You KNOW you don't eat the biscuits - it would make you feel beholden. And as we all know, this is About The Children.

But one has to provide the biscuits as an act of deference and also to show that we're motherly-type feeders.

nervouslurker, good luck! Hide any soft porn (one couple I came across insisted on their human right to keep it displayed) and make your house SMELL nice. But mainly focus on getting you, not your house, into the right state of mind: alert, but calm.

You'll be fine!