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Jitters!

8 replies

Italiangreyhound · 09/05/2014 09:23

Oh dear, getting those jitters again.

Yes I have asked this a lot so feel free to ignore me but am looking at toddler groups and swimming for tots and trying to work out what we can do after intros. I am getting jitters about it being me and little man alone! With dd we were out and about all the time, and in company, as a very extrovert extrovert am scared of being on my own with my new son all day, all the time!

Please tell me what you did and what worked well after intros/once little one was home.

Our boy is very sociable and will get bored if he is just at home with me!

Social worker is saying a month before we introduce to anyone else but it's not practical. We will have to walk to school so will bump into folks. I know we cannot do any family meetings or play dates etc for a while but if it is toddler group I am sure he would just have a wider variety of toys.

If he were nervous/anxious we could go as all the things are just close to home.

I know people say soft play is a no no but I know he has been there too! It's hard as he is not your typical anxious child, he can be quite sociable. Anyway, just getting the jitters!!! please come and hold my hand!

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64x32x24 · 09/05/2014 09:29

Italian I think you'll have to play it by ear! Don't worry you'll be fine. Have some things planned for doing at home, inside/in the garden, and have some nearby outdoors destinations you can go to such as the park, and an overview of toddler groups. Just don't sign up for a term's worth of activities!
Good luck, but I'm sure you'll be great.

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Buster51 · 09/05/2014 09:36

Hi, we intoruced DS to his grandparents etc at a local cafe around two weeks after placement. I know people don't really agree with that, but we wouldn't change it as your LO he is a very social little boy and loves nothing more than spending time with his grandparents, he did from day one. I found if I just played it by ear, and kept it really low key but still meeting people he was completely fine. Our DS was 4 however so if your little one is younger please feel free to ignore me! But I honestly wouldn't stress too much about what you've been 'told' is right - you will know yourself what will feel right for both your DS and you. I would have personally gone nuts if I'd just spent all of that time just with DS, I was very depressed and struggling a lot, my family were a life line for both of us.

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OurMiracle1106 · 09/05/2014 09:42

Italian you are going to be an amazing mum to him. Dont worry. Do what you feel. Take him to soft play areas library sing alongs etc.

((hugs))

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LastingLight · 09/05/2014 09:43

Your post takes me back Italian... I fell in love with a man who had a 2.5 year old (who wasn't biologically or legally his - long story). So not long after the relationship started he wanted to go on a course which would involve him coming home quite late once a week and I bravely offered to look after her on those days. I was terrified and planned elaborate activities for each evening so that she wouldn't be bored / sad / scared without daddy. I know this is very different from being with a new lo 24/7 so I just have a little inkling of what you will go through. Good luck and as others have said play it by ear. Trust your instincts.

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MyFeetAreCold · 09/05/2014 10:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

kmarie100 · 09/05/2014 11:49

Why no soft play?
We had day at soft play during intros and continued to go following dd's arrival.

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UnderTheNameOfSanders · 09/05/2014 12:03

We didn't do much of this funnelling I hear about these days, no one really mentioned it to us. DD1 was 8, DD2 was 2.

We had 2 weeks (or 3 if you count the last week of intros when we had 5 overnights in 7 days) where DD1 wasn't at school and DH wasn't at work where we did family things. But this still included going swimming, going to zoo etc. We also had paediatrics check ups for DD2. The girls met my parents during this time, probably towards the end. To us it was about helping them feel they had a secure family around them.

Once DD1 started back at school, DH started back at work, and we just got into a routine. This included taking DD2 to toddlers twice a week, and we also started up with a 'Music with Mummy' group just round the corner. I certainly also took DD2 swimming on her own from early on, and to the play park.
Obviously though if DD2 had been overwhelmed by these we wouldn't have done them.

What we didn't do is have loads of visitors to our house (provided you discount the girls SW, our SW, health visitor, some other SW that I can't remember why they came ...).

I would have gone crazy if we hadn't been allowed to go out and about. Plus meeting other mums at toddlers was really helpful for advice (which you won't need having done it all before).

In the early weeks, I remember ringing DH most days to check he was coming home from work soon!

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Italiangreyhound · 09/05/2014 16:03

Thanks one and all.

64x32x24 and OurMiracle and thank you so much for your kind words.

LastingLight it sounds very similar.

Buster our relatives are all quite tied up for next few weeks due to other stuff so we planned it for next month anyway.

MyFeetAreCold, very good point about running off!

Yes, kmarie100 we have soft play visit as a possible for our intros, I guess some people thing it is bit too much. Also the place near foster carers is very small, our local place is much bigger and a bit of a nightmare for trying to keep track of where kids are!

Sanders that all sounds great, I know I will take it easy it is just I feel a bit overwhelmed with it all!

Playing it by ear and trusting my instincts sounds good.

Plus lots of this oh yes

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