Just one thing a tiny bit sad!

[Italiangreyhound]

My collegaue's wife has had a new baby. Facebook proudly shows said baby and their name and photos and then photos of them meeting their sibling etc.

I know it's amazingly petty but I am sad when my dd meets little boy I won't be able to proudly display it on facebook.

I know it's petty, I just wanted to say it. Maybe you can help me, imagine the most gorgeous little boy meeting the most gorgeous (slightly stroppy 9 year old - going on 18 year old) girl!

Thank you.

[allthingswillpass]

No, no, no Italian, mine is the most gorgeous little boy !
I totally get what you mean but I feel that even if LO was my birth child, I'm not sure I'd put him on fbk anyway. That's what keeps me sane in this regard but that's not to say that there are not times when I want everyone to see just how wonderful he is and share one of his achievements but it is what it is and that's a sacrifice that we have to make to keep our lo's safe IMO.

[RhinosAreFatUnicorns]

It's not petty Italian. It is entirely normal to want to celebrate the precious moments. It will be the most beautiful picture, and it will be yours to cherish.

I remember posting on Facebook the day we met DD, just saying that we had met her, and she was the most gorgeous girl. I think we broke Facebook with the number of likes that post got.

The important people will see your DD and DS together.

I'm a regular btw just decided to name change :)

[Italiangreyhound]

allthingswillpass thanks, can't argue with you as not even met our little one yet!!!

Did my first ever mix3up by calling DD by his name and he isn't even here yet!

Thanks Rhinos.

[BonaDea]

Are you not allowed to post pictures like that on Facebook with an adopted child? Didn't know that.

Take the picture, get it printed in a top quality place and buy a beautiful frame for it. Much longer lasting (and more tasteful) thank FB.

[Lilka]

Bona it's not that you can't do it, you could, but that adoptive parents have to take internet safety and security very seriously, because of the risk of a child being tracked down by their birth family etc. Lots of adoptive parents just don't think it's worth the risk to put any photos of their children online

Italian of course it's not petty, it's okay to be sad when you are deprived of the same experiences as every other parent, like showing the world your lovely lovely child

[Lilka]

Although, as has been said, every important person WILL see your LO and express their happiness to you in person, rather than in writing online!

And when LO is home and you're stuck into parenting 2, I think things like this will fade into the background

[Italiangreyhound]

ThanksBonaDea great idea.

Lilka thank you, of course, it's not petty not it's not long lasting. The key people will be there to see it for real, the 4 of us!!!! 4 used to be my favourite number!

[mrsballack]

I feel your annoyance. Everyone I know posts lovely family pictures, and it makes me sad that it's not safe to share photos of my gorgeous children.

I do get huge amounts of pleasure out of sharing email photos with the important (and trustworthy) people in our lives, and it makes those who receive the pictures feel important too

[AngelsWithSilverWings]

I have pictures of my two posted all over Facebook! As do my friends who have adopted children.

I wasn't on Facebook when DS arrived but by the time DD arrived I was posting a video of our first meeting and loads of photos of her.

No one ever said not to!

I'm careful with privacy settings though.

[FamiliesShareGerms]

I know what you mean - the (now) normal posts of children on their birthday, at Xmas etc that we can't do. I think you're allowed to feel a little sad at this reminder that whether we like it or not our children are different to most

[namechangesforthehardstuff]

I wouldn't dream of posting pictures of DD (BC) online not sure if responses like this are helpful but Italian if FB makes you feel like that, even for a second, I'd get rid. Fuck the evil empire

[Bugsylugs]

Italian knew you from a different forum knew you were on adoption. Seems a very long journey for you but sounds like the joyous excitement is very near so pleased for you.
No change for us.

[MrsM2509]

I'm off fb now, however If I wasn't I don't reckon id put photos of any ac or bc on there, it's too easy to take screenshots nowadays. My friend innocently sent me a photo the other day of a child and dog cuddled on sofa saying how sweet it was, I asked who's child and dog it was and she had no idea, it was one of these photos getting shared over Facebook a million times saying something silly like "like if you think this is sweet" or something. Far too easy to do things like that with people's photos nowadays, as soon as something is on Facebook, it's on there forever unfortunately

[drspouse]

We do use FB because we have little risk but we limit the photos to a fairly small, opt-in group. But we also use Picasa, could you use that for friends and family?
I work on the principle that people that see DS in person could take a photo of him if they wanted so it doesn't make much difference if they see a photo.

[Italiangreyhound]

Thanks one and all.

Bugsylugs hello, how are you? Well I hope. Huge hugs. (We do less hugging here than on the other forum!!).

[excitedmtb]

well...I am so happy I found MN this morning. This is one of the very things I have been thinking. I live away from most of my family and friends and love to see pics of their little ones. it made me sad that i wouldnt be able to share any of our precious child. But I felt so selfish for even thinking about it.....so nice to know that I am not alone in that.

[Italiangreyhound]

It'll be nice to share triumphs anonymously here excitedmtb - if we wish to!

[grocklebox]

You can share photoscon fb, just have a small friends list of people you know well, and keep your privacy settings tight. I dont know why people get the idea that just anyone can see your photos, or that people you dont know could track down pics of your child....?

[Italiangreyhound]

grocklebox for me it is a personal choice not to share photos of my birth child or adopted child on facebook. I did put one photo of DD on facebook (my birth child), on her request, and another relative shared a couple of photos and I chose not to ask them to be removed. I guess for me I am not sure people would not link to photos or stuff!

It's all personal opinion.

[Italiangreyhound]

Plus after years of fertility issues I kind of find other people's family photos a bit off putting! But just on the announcing new arrival I felt quite sad!

[grocklebox]

Yes thats fine as a choice, I was respinding to points made abput your childbeing found on fb by people who are strangers to you...thats simply not possible if you use basic precautions. So if you did want to, you can. If you dont want to, thats also fine.

[Italiangreyhound]

Plus grocklebox if I am honest I don't totally trust the Internet! Things are not always as secure as you think, peop;e's bank details being made known etc. How do I know Facebook won't change something that makes my settings change? Yes, call me paranoid Pete but I am a bit when it comes to the 'Interweb thingy'!!

PS this is not to say I am judging anyone else who does use it. I useit, just not for photos.