Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on adoption.
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Nursery priorty for LAC?(14 Posts)
haven't posted for ages, due to chronic sleep deprivation making me fit for very little by the time the DCs are in bed - I haven't even watched 15000 kids yet!
I am hoping someone can help me with nursery rules/requirements. I live in a quite rural area, and there is one heavily oversubscribed private nursery, where I need DS to go part time when I go back to work. He's been on the waiting list for months and they said they'd have a place by the time I'll need it, but have now said they have no places at all for his age and basically won't until someone leaves, which is pretty unlikely. DS is at the top of the waiting list, but that's no use if no places are likely to come free. I really strongly feel that a childminder, the only other option, would be really wrong for him as it would confuse him and make him even more insecure (he's extremely clingy at the moment) to be receiving care from yet another person, in another home - not criticising others who use a childminder BTW, it's just about what I feel DS needs.
I am a single parent, and have to go back to work part time, so I need to sort this out. As I understand it, a school can be required to take a LAC, even if it puts them over their maximum numbers, so are there any similar requirements for a nursery, or any other helpful workarounds people know about? I'd be grateful for any suggestions please.
Hi, I'm afraid I don't think private nurseries have any kind of admission criteria they have to stick to. I wonder if there's any way they can juggle their rooms around a bit so there is a space in the right age range? Are there any nurseries close to your work that might be an option? (I totally understand wanting a nursery close to home though, I value my 30 minutes peace in the car on the way home from work!) Hope you manage to get it sorted soon, it is so stressful sorting childcare
private nurseries have no admissions policies that they have to abide by
they can take whoever they want
it is normally full time children that get priority as they have a business to run and profits to make
the only exception would be for a child in the care of ss who was placed in the nursery in an emergency
Local authority nurseries have an enhanced admissions policy for adopted children. My dd attends a LA run day nursery attached to a children's centre and went straight to the top of their list.
Private nurseries don't have that policy though I'm afraid.
Are there other nurseries you could approach?
Oh bugger. There is a nursery near work, but my old office overlooked it and in the summer with the windows open hearing long hours of crying babies and the staff playing loud chart music means I would never send any child there. There are no LA nurseries anywhere near here, and no other private nurseries other than the work one. There is a preschool at DDs school, but it's only 9-1 and only in term time, and I will not be allowed to only work term time. Plus DS will only just be old enough to start it when I have to go back to work, so we'd have no chance to settle in. Crap. Thanks all.
When are you meant to be going back to work?
Could you extend your adoption leave?
Surely they will have children moving up into the next age range/on to school, so places will be released for your child's age group at some point?
I'd write to them, explaining your situation clearly and asking them if there is any way in which they can help, even by offering you some of the sessions you need. At least that way you would have your foot in the door, so to speak.
Hi, I'm a foster carer and I would say a childminder might be a better not worse option- particularly if you find someone who understands and is appropriately nurturing. I would definitely go and see some as it might change your mind. I find for my anxious toddlers a childminder works much better than playgroup/ nursery setting, where they just tend to dissociate ( though I am sure this isn't the case for all). A nurturing childminder can 'hold' the attachment and wouldn't take it over, if that makes sense.
I would second what parsnipcake said, I would go for a good child minder over a nursery.
Nursery's can have a very high turn over of staff which can be very unsettling, a good childminders can be a home from home. Good luck I hope you find the right child care.
Sorry, I'm slow at replying.
Sunflower I have to go back at the end of my adoption leave, or pay back what I got paid over and above SAP - 2 months full pay and 4 months half pay of my fulltime salary, so a very large chunk of money I can't afford to give back. The nursery are saying there will be no free places even when children move on/up in September, which was originally when they said they'd have a place free for DS at the latest. I have said I will take any sessions they offer and go back to work on the days they can give me, but no doing.
Parsnip/disney that is interesting. I think competition for good childminders around here is about as fierce as for the nursery - the only ones I encounter are the ones who mind DDs classmates after school, who I observe talking amongst themselves on the edge of the park while the DCs fall off the slide, fight etc - not a good advert for someone to leave my lovely vulnerable DS with! And the one who only grudgingly agreed to shut her large dog away til my friend's 10 month old 'got used to it'!
I don't know what to do really, I've asked the SW to weight in but I don't know if she'll have any better arguments than me. Thanks all.
Banana ketchup, would unpaid parental leave be an option for you if you need more time to find appropriate childcare?
I would also say that a childminder would be a good option - you would not object if your DC became attached to a relative or your potential DP and I see this as the same - in fact I'd worry if they were in a nursery setting where they did NOT become attached to their main carer, that is a bad, inappropriate setting I feel.
I do sympathise though and have had much trauma over childcare. We currently use both a nursery and a CM and the nursery isn't the most convenient, but it is good. You may find there's one at a distance if you could work shorter hours, for example?
Have you considered asking your social worker if they would fund or part fund someone to look after your Ds at home? They might be able to help as part of your post adoption support.
I've bookmarked the info on parental leave thanks tethersend I didn't know about that.
drspouse I don't object to DS becoming attached to a carer, it's that I think being cared for by one female carer, in a family home, will be one too many of those - he's had BM, Bgrandma, FC and now me, in 2 years. I worry it'd confuse him about who that person is to him. I have asked other parents to listen out for if any childminder in the village have spaces, just to have a plan B, but none so far and the other parent I know who was looking for a childminder here couldn't find one and ended up with one 2 villages away. It's a rural area and childcare is obviously extremely hard to come by - maybe I should kill 2 birds and leave my job and open a nursery, it seems like I'd have customers!
Super6 I have looked into aupairs and nannies but it's really confusing - au pairs I think are unqualified, and I don't want that, but then reading profiles of some people describing themselves as nannies they didn't seem to have qualifications either. I'm out of my depth in all this, and very scared of choosing wrong. I suppose part of the appeal of a nursery to me was that I think there's safety in numbers. I seem to have a quite primitive suspicion of leaving DS with one person behind closed doors - I suppose because of knowing what can happen and has happened to children who become looked after, behind closed doors with trusted adults . The SW, who is new to us, seems to have the bit well between her teeth and I've fingers crossed she can wrestle a place out of the nursery somehow, though I'm not very hopeful as the HV tried and just got told 'we're oversubscribed, everyone else wants their child to get a place just like Banana does'. I don't know really.
Here's hoping your SW comes up trumps then!
Au pairs are younger and do less work and wouldn't really provide work day childcare - it's more the school run and after school. Nannies don't have to be qualified but can be, that might be a good stop gap while you're waiting for a nursery place. Expensive but less than paying back the salary I'd say!
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