fostering with a 2 yo DD

(12 Posts)
Kewcumber Wed 04-Jun-14 22:25:00

To be fair maybe OP is an incredibly good multitasker.

Hels20 Wed 04-Jun-14 21:34:54

Kew - you made me go and search for the other thread. The OP is quite crazy to be even thinking of fostering when her whole personal life is quite tumultuous.

candycoatedwaterdrops Wed 04-Jun-14 20:49:58

Kew grin

wonderpants Wed 04-Jun-14 19:40:40

This has been discussed on the fostering board. Few reasons why I did not foster with a pre-school child and things you might not know.

1. You are expected to be available 24/7. So generally foster carers don't work. They get an allowance but mine barely covers the cost of additional heating, washing, clothes, food, toys etc.

2. Generally, they recommend a foster child is at least 3 years younger than your birth child.

3. you are expected to be able to take and pick up children from contact 3-5 times a week, attend meetings, appointments, training. I rarely have a day without something on. It is not appropriate to take your own child so you need nearly full time care for them.

4. You do not care for a foster child in the same way as a birth child, and that impacts on your birth child. No snuggles in bed in the morning, no sharing baths. Being aware of the impact of raised voices and shouting.

5. It is hard work, it comes with heartache saying goodbye. I think this is especially tough on kids.

The fostering assessment is rigorous and will pick apart your relationship. If you are already having difficulties, this is not a good move for you. It will come out and in front of a social worker.

Kewcumber Wed 04-Jun-14 17:46:58

Goodness you'll have your work cut out for you:

2 year old
working
foster child
affair with boss
DP

MerryInthechelseahotel Wed 04-Jun-14 16:10:00

Indeed twinkle

My advice after just seeing your othertgread is please don't do it. It isn't fair on anyone.

Hels20 Wed 09-Apr-14 07:51:38

Zobey - fostering is under Talk/Becoming a Parent/Fostering

excitedmamma Tue 08-Apr-14 22:24:41

I used to be a foster carer - I didn't have my own children and have since resigned after adopting a LO we cared for.

I know of many people who DO foster with their own BC, perhaps though not as young as yours, who will say it has been a huge plus in their kids lives.

Personally for me, I would not foster if I had such a young child at home.

The amount of running around (health reviews, contacts, LAC reviews) will have an impact on your life and your LO... they would look to place young children with you (they too like a FC to be the youngest in the family) - so you'd be looking at babies, and these apparently (due to concurrency planning in adoption) are few and far between.

Are you prepared to have your child looked after by other people so that you can attend training, meetings, contact, health reviews.

I really don't mean to sound negative (altho I am biased with such a young child at home), but I think you really need to be aware of the huge impact it will have on your "family" life.

Good luck whatever you decide and feel free to pm me to ask anything else

zobey Tue 08-Apr-14 22:16:23

I couldn't find it...

HappySunflower Tue 08-Apr-14 21:27:39

You might get a bit more of a response if you post again in (or ask this to be moved to) the fostering board smile

zobey Tue 08-Apr-14 21:25:10

Anyone any experiences of this and what can I expect? Got our 1st meeting tomorrow to have a informal chat.

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