Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on adoption.
ZOMBIE THREAD ALERT: This thread hasn't been posted on for a while.
15,000 Kids And Counting - On Channel 4, starting on 3rd April(302 Posts)
Heads up folks, Channel 4 are doing a new adoption documentary "15,000 Kids and Counting"
Series Description - Child protection levels in Britain are at a record high. Over 15,000 children were waiting to be adopted in 2013 - twice as many as five years earlier
With unparalleled access to the entire adoption process, this series follows social workers, foster carers, birth parents and adopters as heart-wrenchingly difficult decisions are made about the future of some of Britain's most vulnerable children
Episode 1 is on 3rd April at 9.00PM, is called The Decision
The adoption process begins with the most difficult decision of all: the decision to remove a child from their birth family
The first episode in the series follows the social workers whose job it is to take children away from their parents and recommend whether they should ever return; and meets parents who are desperately fighting to keep their children
Episode 2 a week later - The Search
This episode follows the search for adoptive parents for a two-year-old boy and a three and seven-year-old brother and sister
With the added challenges of having slightly older children, siblings and a child with possible health issues to place, the task for social workers Annette and Jackie is a massive one
With the future of these children in their hands and recently set government targets to meet, they struggle not to become emotionally involved as they strive to find adopters before time runs out
I'll certainly be watching, looks interesting
Thanks for that Lilka. I don't watch TV much so never am really aware of what's on. This sounds interesting, would have been sad to miss it.
Thanks very much Lilka... Have set Sky to record the series.
Let's hope it's interesting and balanced...
Sounds interesting. Ty for the heads up.
I'll be glued to the screen but expecting it all to be quite harrowing - if that is the right word.
Message withdrawn at poster's request.
Will be watching, for sure.
MyFeet We could play bingo on the thread that will appear in Telly or Chat or AIBU over the two episodes
We all get bonus points when the forced-adoption brigade show up to explain how all 15,000 waiting children, regardless of circumstance, should definitely be living with their birth parents, instead of "stranger" adoptive parents, because of "adoption targets"
In fact let me save all MNetters the trouble and I'll write the thread myself (please take this in the lighthearted way it is intended!):
Poster 1: Is anyone watching? This is so
Poster 2: Yes it is I don't envy social workers at all
Poster 3: YY, they're damned if they do, and damned if they don't. These children are so beautiful
Poster 4: How many of these parents could keep their children if they were given more support though?
...some posts later, during which commentary on the program happens...
FAB1: This makes me so angry. How dare they send all these thousands of children to live with strangers instead of their own parents. Forced adoption is WRONG
<everyone: collective breath of 'oh no'>
Spero: Actually FAB1, [the truth]
FAB1: No, actually...adoption targets...blonde blue eyed babies...social workers bonuses...all adoptions break down anyway...secret courts...evil, etc etc
Soon after, the deletions start
MNHQ: FAB1 has been banned, he was merlin/whowasthatguy back AGAIN
<everyone: phew...we have a week's reprieve till he's back again>
On a serious note, I will definitely be watching, and I'm certain it will be completely heartbreaking
Oh lord, you're so right with the prophecy about the threads. Is there time for MN to put some kind of enchantment (others might call it a password...) on our adoption chat thread, so at least we would all have one safe
sane space until it dies down again?
<<shuffles off to make note in diary to steer well clear of any thread started by a strange username around next Thurs>>
Thanks for giving us all the heads up Lilka. I will definitely be watching and hope (selfishly) that the merlin guy and his ilk stick to boards other than the adoption board to spew their nonsense as I don't really look at the chat or AIBU boards.
As a father that has gone through this experience of my children being taken in to care by the local authority , As parents we should all be a little scared as the social workers that deal with children are understaffed and under severe pressure, luckily when my case went to court the Judge condemned the local authority for there reckless decision making and knee jerk reaction and my children were returned to me on that day and this is due to the recent cases of severe child cruelty against baby p and Daniel Pelka which ironically the social services completely missed these cases and were heavily criticised in the following case reviews , I completely understand that there are genuine cases that need the authorities to step in, but r speaks fo itself when the cases of children being taken into care by the local authorities has more than doubled in 5 years
I hope that it shows a balanced viewpoint on the whole process as we all have our own experiences of the system from different perspectives.
It's a must see series but unfortunately will definitely stir up some deliberate antagonistic posts and some over sentimental ones too.....
Can I be the first to say that I would take them all, they are so cute. If only I had a spare room
And I think it's shocking that all you adopters don't want black kids or kids called Chardonnay . My mother friends next door neighbours cousin is a social worker and she told me that kids get turned down by adopters all the time because they have red hair.
I'm a real mother and I didn't get to choose the colour of my kids hair or their gender so I don't see why you should.
I agree, Kristina. My friend's lollipop lady's next door neighbour's niece said that she knows a social worker, and they have to get as many blonde haired, blue eyed little girls as possible, because that's all these adopters want.
If I had a spare room, I'd have them all in an instant.... But you know, I don't, and I'm so busy sitting here in my ill informed judgey pants that I just don't have time.
I'll definitely be watching, tissues in hand. Hopefully people will surprise us and not say stupid stuff. <watches pig fly past the window>
Why are judgey pants not available in the MN merchandise section? Huge market
Exactly Kristina. I can't believe adopters will take only adopt one of a sibling group. They aren't ordering a perfect child, you can't just take one child and not the other 5 of them.
I'd adopt all 6 in a heartbeat and keeep them together, but I know I'd be turned down flat because I had mild depression 20 years ago. Adoption law in this country is ridiculous, if it was just easier to adopt people wouldn't have to go to other countries because they're too disabled and gay to adopt here
<I hope the program won't be too sensationalised, and the cases chosen are pretty representative or not unusual cases>
Message withdrawn at poster's request.
But I propose a nice sofa, not a bench. With a coffee table in front covered in plates of cake and snacks, and pots of tea...
I'll bake is some cakes on the condition there is a little wine
Message withdrawn at poster's request.
If embarrassment means lots and lots then make some room for me and budge over.... Lemon or chocolate cake?
Both!! Coffee and Walnut also
Ms greedy is in the building
Just to add, any decision that requires judgement is subject to human error. In this context, of the adoption system, that's not just the social workers, but the courts and judges too. So there will always be the extreme cases at both ends of the spectrum that sadden and shock us... This should not stop us from protecting children that are at risk
I do a mean "Mary berry" coffee and walnut!
In the second episode, with the family finding for the older siblings and child with possible health needs, I really hope they do it in a manner which does NOT sound like adoptive parent bashing. I really did not like how in "Finding Mum and Dad" they made it sound like adoptive parents were to blame for children not finding homes by being too picky and only wanting children aged 0-4. It's far more complicated than that.
If they can present the issue of it being difficult to find homes for older sibling groups WITHOUT some kind of implied condemnation of adoptive parents, that would be a relief
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