Hello everyone

[abigailrieley]

I'm new to Mumsnet and I'm afraid I've just been lurking till now. I'm a writer and journalist based in Dublin, though from London originally. The lovely people at Mumsnet invited me to sign up to the Bloggers Network recently. I normally write about feminism and the Irish court system but I wanted to share my latest post here if it's OK with you. It's a very personal one for me. I've talked about every subject under the sun over the years but I rarely write about dealing with the Irish adoption system. My DH and I were so excited when we started the process about six years ago but we've since withdrawn completely after coming to the conclusion that we'll have to leave Ireland if we ever want to start a family.
A friend of mine wrote about her experiences of the system in the Irish Times at the weekend and I've written this response. Since Ireland ratified the Hague Convention a couple of years ago, due to a lack of bilateral agreements amongst other things, only 11 adoptions have gone through for post Hague declarations. There is very little domestic adoption here you see so the vast majority of adoptions are intercountry. It's meant that for those of us who hadn't completed the process before Hague the chances of adopting from anywhere are slim to none.
Anyway it's all in the post. I'd be grateful if you'd take a look and share or comment as you see fit. It's a subject that saddens me and angers me in equal measure and I'd like it to get as wide an audience as possible. Anyway the post is below.

abigailrieley.com/wordpress/index.php/2014/03/10/a-bleak-choice/

[Italiangreyhound]

I am so sorry for your situation. I can't understand why Ireland would feel that a second wrong would right an earlier one! It doesn't. I hope you find your answers and your family. The need is very great here, I am not sure what the whole EU thing has to contribute to this.

[abigailrieley]

Thanks Italiangreyhound. We're hoping to have a much more positive experience with the system in the UK. I just want to give a happy home to a child that needs it.

[prumarth]

I had no idea the system in Ireland was so different. Are there many children in long-term residential care then if adoption, internally and from overseas is so difficult?

[abigailrieley]

Hi Prumarth. I don't have the figures for children in care here but I think they're quite high, most would be in the foster system though rather than residential. It's partly the legacy of the brutal so-called industrial schools & magdalen laundries run by religious orders that had never gone away. Domestic adoption doesn't really exist outside families but there's an added problem as well in that if the child's parents are married they cannot be adopted. You get used to it when you live here but it sounds nuts.

[Chocomint]

We flew back from Cambodia via Bangkok 3 years ago and sat next to me was an Irish lady and her new Thai 18 month old daughter. She'd tried for nearly 10 years to adopt in Ireland, got to her wits end and decided to adopt abroad. It's such a shame it's so difficult in Ireland, I hope one day they make it easier. Great blog post.

[namechangesforthehardstuff]

So are you coming to the UK? So sad that you had to make this decision

[abigailrieley]

Thank you Chocomint. It was a hard one to write. It's got ridiculous here over the past three years. There's now about a 2% chance of successfully completing the process. It really is soul destroying.
Sorry for not replying sooner. It's been a little crazy since I wrote the post. One of the national papers here picked up on it and asked me to write an opinion piece & I'm due to go on radio to discuss the issue later this week.
Namechangesforthehardstuff Yes I think we're bound for the UK. I still have a lot of family in the south of England so we'll have support to go through the system as well.

[HappySunflower]

Thank you for sharing your post, and your experiences.
I'm sorry that the process has been so tough for you.
I'm in the SE so feel free to nudge some of us for a coffee meetup when you come over :)