Our lo has been home 15 weeks now. We also have a bio ds with 3 years between them. From morning till night there is fighting and tears from one of both of them, they wind eachother up all the time but also wouldn't be without eachother.
I don't feel any further forward in my feelings for my new ds than I did when he came home. I look at him and see a gorgeous perfect little boy but feel no maternal love for him. I just don't know what's wrong with me I'm finding it all so so hard. My dh works a lot so it's just me with the boys a lot and I feel all I do is shout. I have turned into the type of mother I never wanted to be and ds1 is always saying please be happy mummy. It breaks my heart.
Since starting adoption leave I have gained a stone and feel fat and lethargic all the time. I constantly tired and worn down. I don't recognise myself right now.
I want to love this child and to be the happy family I always imagined. He has attached to us so well and seems to happy here. He trusts us and has settled no problem. The issue seems to be me. I just can't see a light at the end of the tunnel and am scared to ask sw for help incase they take him away.
When does the love come? I feel nothing but irritation and like its all pretend. Everyone keeps saying how wonderful he is and how happy we must be but the truth is so different. None of it is my child's fault he is the perfect child for us I know that much but I feel so numb towards him.
Is this normal?
Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on adoption.
Adoption
Really struggling
Whatutalkinboutwillis · 26/02/2014 10:53
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