May not even get off the ground

(9 Posts)
Fluffymummy1 Tue 18-Feb-14 22:18:48

Hi all,
This is my first ever post so bear with me if i type anything not easily understood.
Ive looked at adoption sites as we may in a few years time be at a point where we would like to adopt but ive seen that are reasons not to accept a person is mental health and medical reasons.
I have a long standing health problem but have managed it well and only been in hospital once overnight due to it. I also had a bad time last year with panic attacks and anxiety but im on the road to recovery now.
What i wondered is to what they consider to be a definate no and does it vary depending on the circumstances.
Thanks

Devora Tue 18-Feb-14 22:32:20

Yes, it varies. The agency will want to know how your health conditions affect your energy, resilience and ability to parent day-to-day, as well as into the future. With mental health, it is not remotely unusual for adopters to have experienced depression, anxiety etc, but clearly it depends on the severity, the duration, how recent it was and likelihood of it happening again. They don't expect you to have an unblemished past but they want to see that you are resourceful, that you have learned from your experiences, that you will know how to get yourself sorted shoudl it happen again. They may want a psychiatric evaluation. They will definitely want a medical report.

Good luck!

OneOfOurLilkasIsMissing Tue 18-Feb-14 22:42:07

Hi and welcome smile

There are very few absolute no's in the UK, and disabilities and health issues are all considered on a case by case basis - it's not a blanket thing, it's about how your condition affects you. The individual circumstances are really important.

A lot of adoptive parents have had previous MH issues - usually depression or anxiety. I've had depression, so have a lot of the parents on this board. Your anxiety and panic attacks will not be a total barrier. Right now they are recent, but you are thinking of adopting in a few years time, and if in a few years time you haven't had a lot of recurring panic attacks etc, it should be fine. They'll be looking at - how long ago was your anxiety/depression etc, how are you managing now, did you seek help for it at the time, is it very likely to occur again etc?

When it comes to long standing health conditions, again it's very case by case, and it's all about how your condition affects you personally, how you manage with it, what you can and can't do, and whether you can parent a child into adulthood with your condition.

I know adoptive parents with long standing health conditions, and have read the stories of others - I know an adoptive mother who needs a wheelchair full time for instance, and I read the story of an adoptive mum who has Cystic Fibrosis, who was turned down by oe agency but found another who were happy to assess her. I found this thread on fertility friends for you, I hope you'll find it reassuring smile

Fluffymummy1 Tue 18-Feb-14 22:45:55

Thankyou for your replies, very reassuring that we wouldnt be ruled out straight away :-)

CheeryGiraffe Wed 19-Feb-14 14:14:05

Hi Fluffy

I just wanted to echo what the others have said - there are very, very few rules about medical conditions, and the decision is ultimately made by the medical advisor following your medical. When medical files were on paper, mine was spread over numerous ring binders, and I was worried that my (serious) medical history would count us out. However, we had our medicals, and the medical advisor had no issue whatsoever. My health has been something that we've covered in the home assessment, but it hasn't posed a problem at all.

I would speak to a few agencies and explain your situation. Things vary between agencies, and even between social workers, so if the first one isn't very positive, don't give up.

Good luck! smile

CloserThanYesterday Wed 19-Feb-14 15:19:26

Hi fluffy

Thought I'd chip in here too, as I've lost many an hour googling how medical issues might affect our application!

My DH had kidney failure, a couple of years on dialysis and ultimately a transplant, we were really worried this would rule us out (especially as the chances are he will need another one at some point in the future) - we're not out of the woods yet, still in stage 1, but it's looking increasingly likely that it won't stop us.

The agency will look at all your circumstances, and you'll probably find they see many more positives than negatives!

I'm with cheery though - speak to a couple of agencies, as there seems to be wild variation in attitudes between them. We went to a few info evenings and then went with our gut instinct, and we've got nothing but good things to say about the LA we chose so far.

Best of luck to you smile

can't comment on the illness but I have anxiety (was originally anxiety and depression, still think the anxiety is present though) and was on ad's when we phoned to find out info two were happy to accept me. I'd actually come off the ad's by the time we went to panel but they were happy that I was dealing with it.

crazeekitty Wed 19-Feb-14 22:37:14

Ditto to above posters. I have long term health condition. Had to show it wouldn't impact on care of a child. My specialist sent a supporting letter. Also had depression before and showed I was willing and did take counselling. Just had to show I could deal with it.

Fluffymummy1 Sun 23-Feb-14 21:11:37

Thanks, my medical condition is well controlled it's only if I catch a bug it goes a bit bad but I can show that I have a good network of friends and family around me, as for anxiety it's ok at the moment but these can go up and down too.
All posts have been reassuring and positive so thanku again

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