Initial Contact with LA

[craftycreator]

Hello

On Thursday 9th I sent in the online form from the LA website. I got a call back on Tuesday from the duty CW/SW. At the time I was in work and about to head into a meeting so he told me I could call the next morning. Which I duly did. They told me the CW/SW had been pulled for a meeting but someone would call me on Wednesday. I didn't have a call back so phone late afternoon to be told my name was down to be spoken to tomorrow. Thursday and Friday have come and gone. I phoned again this morning and left a voicemail message asking for someone to phone me. As yet I still haven't heard anything. Am I just too anxious to speak to someone or should I keep calling until I get to speak to someone?

I don't want to 'make a name for myself' so early on the process but I don’t want to let it slip and find I've been forgotten about

CC.

[Meita]

hmm some of the LAs we contacted never got back to us. In two cases, they called us back, then after a chat they said they'd find something out for us (a question I'd asked which they didn't know the answer to), but we never got another call. Others have been brilliant. The one we chose to go with, is a bit on and off - at times it has taken us weeks of calling in at least daily in order to finally get someone to talk to us, and at other times their responses have been instant and to the point.
I would say, keep calling. But don't insist on talking to that same person who first called you, but rather just say that you are interested in adopting - whoever is on duty should be fine to talk to you, but if you are waiting for a particular person to have time, you could be waiting for a while.

[craftycreator]

Hi

Minutes after hitting send they called lol. Im obviously just impatient.

Seems we are not going to be progressed any further 'at this stage' :-(

CC

[Meita]

What was their reason? We found that whereas some dismissed us outright (too far away/our DS too young) others (even at the exact same distance) welcomed us.
In any case I'd try a few others. See First4adoption they have an 'agency finder' complete with distances.

[mrsballack]

I'd recommend maybe trying another agency. We had one agency who were terrible at returning call so we looked at three others. One of which gave us a flat no due to my hubby's issues with his ex and his daughter, one never returned our calls and the third had us matched and approved within 10 months.

[craftycreator]

We are both above the BMI of 35. Therefore they will not accept us or allow the application to go further. We also have in the past experience of young children/babies but as they are only through family we need experience of working with children not in relation to us.

I knew the weight might be a stumbling block (were working on it, but its slow progress) but I didn't think it would mean an outright no.

[mrsballack]

My bmi is about 34 ish. It was never even mentioned. Hubby was around 32. My doctor said that when he did the medicals he was surprised to find that neither of us have any medical problems (raised blood pressure, cholesterol, diabetes etc) maybe this worked in our favour.

Perhaps still try another agency, mention your bmi and that you are taking steps to reduce it and see what they say.

[mrsballack]

With regard to child are experience, I had none at all so I started volunteering for the local scout group. At first it was a nightmare, but now I love it, we have fun and I get more exercise through it as I'm always chasing about with the kids (I am a beaver leader, 6-8yo). Scout groups always need help in my experience

[LocoParentis]

I would try a different LA both dh and I are big and it hasn't even been mentioned, in fact I was reluctant to cancel my gym membership, that I don't use and was told I won't need a gym when I'm running round after our children!
I thought they weren't allowed to dismiss people out of hand anymore under the new rules.
I would persevere good luck

[craftycreator]

Mrsballack - I suffer from PCOS but that its the only health issue either of us. our blood pressures are normal, cholesterol is normal etc. Re the child care experience this is something we will have to do, there is no doubt about it and although I expect it will be a shock to the system I am looking forward to it :D We are hoping to adopt one lively kiddie so after running round after a room full it will be a walk in the park right?

LocoParentis - Thank You. We have not been 'dismissed' was just told until we get our BMI to a closer to 30 our application will unfortunatly be processed any further. I admit our BMI's are high. Mine is 42 and the hubbys is even more, he needs to almost half his BMI. I understand the need to make sure parents are fit and can look after and be around for a child, and its imperative these children have security now and in the future it was just a shock to be told no so early on.

[MrsBW]

Can only agree with other posters. Try other LA's and voluntary agencies.

We were turned down flat by an LA... And are about to go to panel through a VA.

There is such inconsistency in criteria...

[craftycreator]

MrsBW - Its a minefield and its so early on.

[mrsballack]

Crafty. My fellow beaver leaders have assured me that after a weekend camp with 30 overexcited 7 year olds two of my own will be a breeze. I'm desperately hoping that's true.

[Kewcumber]

Talk to other LA's and talk to your GP about what they can offer. NHS does some very good weigh loss management programmes in specila centres and it will look good on your file.

It is very important to have a good chance of being alive until your children are young adults and statistically the chances of that are lower if you are smokers or heavy drinkers or very overweight. Its possible that both you and your DH are in the mornidly obese category which (if the LA don;t have heaps of children in their own authority or their consortium or many applications form adopters) may be the problem.

Some LA's or VA's may consider taking you on f you show you are actively losing weight. I think my BMI was around 40ish when I adopted so it is possible but I did have a few hiccups and a bit of a fight on my hands at the time.

[craftycreator]

Mrsballack - I can imagine I have 12 nieces and nephews, when they all used to get in the same room its manic lol. But happy manic!

Kewcumber - the why weight service? I've been through that once lol. I came out after months and months 3lb lighter. I even went to counselling. My hubby and I are committed to loosing the weight together. Which will really help.

[Kewcumber]

I'm thinking of the weight management centres in hospitals which are centres of excellence such as Charing cross staffed with psychologists, medical and surgical doctors, dieticians etc. I don;t know if thats what you did but they are generally very effective although teh results they get are only measured over I think a year.

[Italiangreyhound]

Craftycreator very sorry to hear that. I agree with others to check ther local authorities but if your BMI is high you may find it really good anyway to lose some weight. Come and chat and encourage me on this thread... I think I'm pretty much the only one on there!

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/adoptions/1729438-Lowering-a-BMI?msgid=44400690#44400690

I really recommend councelling to deal with issues that may be contributing and them some help from NHS in whatever form you can get it, Kew's suggestions sound good. Good luck.

[craftycreator]

Kewcumber - Oh okay, I wasn't aware of these, my doctor just seems intent on sending me back through the why weight system. I will look into that.

Italiangreyhound - I am loosing weight anyway whether we end up adopting or not, although I have tried numerous times before, now feels "right". I have had as part of the why weight process had counselling, but I will pop over to your thread, thank you.

All interested - We had a bit of result today, I spoke to an LA in the next County along, spoke to the care worker on duty and asked if our weight would stop us, she disappeared came back to me and told me that it wouldn't, if we decide to continue and they would like to progress us all it may mean is an earlier Medical but it certainly on its own does not stop us, especially if we can actively show we are making positive steps to reduce our weight :)

[Italiangreyhound]

Great news, keep up the good work and share your tips with me on the other thread. Thanks.

[NanaNina]

I think the weight issue differs with LAs because of the particular views of the LA's medical advisor. The GP's medical is sent to the Medical Advisor and he/she comments on the suitability or otherwise of the applicants in terms of their wish to adopt. In the LA where I worked, the medical advisor was stick thin (and a real misery) and would never give agreement to applicants who were overweight. It is then very difficult for the LA to go against medical advice. The medical advisor is also part of the Adoption Panel and would not give consent to overweight applicant(s)

Mind the funniest thing was that the panel chair was a massively overweight bloke, (around 30 stone!!)

[craftycreator]

Hi NanaNina

It is strange, but im grateful to be given the chance to meet with them so they can see that even though the scales may say were overweight we have no mobility issues, we have no heath problems because of being overweight. I am aware this may change in the future hence why we have decided to loose weight for not only the adoption but because of our own health, its just so massively different. I have in fact heard back now from 4 different LA's and the advise on each is as follows;

LA1 - Must have a BMI of 35 or less to even be considered
LA2 - No set in stone mark but medical will most likely be bought forward to rule out any risks
LA3 - Those with a BMI of over 40 are looked at closely and discussions with the medical advisor and CW would be in depth
LA4 - Nothing has been mentioned at all about weight just so long as your healthy enough to the medical advisor to care for and look after a child of varying ages.

Its def something which Differs LA to LA and I'm glad that you guys were here or I may not have had the omph to speak to other LAs and thus ending our journey before it really started.