DD is 5, and has been doing gradual taster sessions at school, starting off with me with her, then me in the corridor outside, now she spends a couple of hours there by herself a couple of times a week. School have been lovely, and the other children are lovely to her. But as she is trying to hold it together at school, her behaviour at home has got a lot harder.
DD is stuck at toddler age emotionally a lot of the time anyway (but with the inventive brain of a bright 5 year old, great!), but with the stress from this she is tantrumming long and often, screaming, crying, whining, throwing things, slamming doors etc. I know why it's happening, but I can't see how to deal with it and also keep DSs needs in mind.
He is just turned 2, and for instance yesterday while DD was having a long screaming and throwing things session cos I asked her to put her bike away, he put away all the rest of the toys without being asked and without comment, then kept to himself while DD whined and screamed. I don't want him to lose out on my attention because of DDs behaviour. I also don't want him to see behaving this way as the way to get attention, or to learn that he has to give in when people demand what he's got. And while I'm conscious of this happening, I am getting resentful of the effect of DDs behaviour on DS, because he always has to wait, he always gets second choice, he always gives in when she tantrums for something he's got, and it makes it hard for me to deal with DD compassionately when I start getting resentful that it's not fair to DS.
Is any of this making sense to anyone, and anyone got any strategies I can try? Because shouting 'He's the 2 year old, you're the 5 year old!!' (which I admit I have a few times) is not helping any of us, but I haven't got a lot else. SW is utterly clueless and is on leave now til 2nd week of January anyway, so no joy there. Suggestions please!
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What do you do when the older one is emotionally younger than the younger one?
26 replies
Bananaketchup · 13/12/2013 15:17
OP posts:
MyFeetAreCold ·
13/12/2013 21:52
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