Matching Panel

(12 Posts)
lilypink1977 Thu 14-Nov-13 14:49:22

Hi everyone! First time posting on here but love reading everyone's adoption journies. We're going to Matching Panel in 2 weeks time and starting to get so nervous! SW keeps saying this is a formality, family are all excited and starting to buy things and I'm so scared that they might say no and my whole world will come crashing down?!!

What sorts of questions will they ask? My main worry is answering the old chesnut "why do you think this is a good match" - I'm finding it so hard to answer! Any hints and tips I'd be so grateful for! Also - although sllightly pre-empting again! - any tips on introductions?! Feeing very out of my depth here! Thanks everyone!

No hint or tips, just wanted to offer a hand to hold and do keep us updated as we are not yet at that point but excitedly anticipating that point! Good luck.

RudolphLovesoftplay Thu 14-Nov-13 15:55:58

Good luck grin

I spent the entire matching panel crying, and they still matched us!! My husband had to answer the questions, but the majority of Q's were asked to the SW.

Hels20 Thu 14-Nov-13 17:00:48

We went to matching panel on Monday and meet our new son this coming Monday! The SW's did most of the answering of questions - and then we sometimes added our own comments. One of the critical questions was whether we agreed that what the doctor said at panel (in front of us) was what we understood. They also asked if anything had changed in our personal circumstances since we had been approved as adopters and there was a weird question about my DH's ex wife (a bit left field) but we passed - and were told 5 mins after we left the room. I assume you have been asked to prepare a photo book, DVD etc of you and your home? We had to hand these over at the meeting - as then they were going to be taken to DS's foster home that day.

Good luck - I felt quite emotional!

Happiestinwellybobs Thu 14-Nov-13 17:28:31

Good luck. We were in there for what felt like only a few minutes. In fact the whole thing is a blur smile

I think we were asked about a outstanding health issue with DD that would only be resolved post-placement. And that was about it.

Moomoomie Thu 14-Nov-13 17:44:57

Hels, I think the op is talking about approval panel, rather than matching with a particular child.
Good luck. Remember the powers that be would not be taking you to panel if they were not certain you will be approved. Just be yourself and answer any questions truthfully.

MyFeetAreCold Thu 14-Nov-13 23:05:42

Our matching panel, we were asked 3 questions and I can't even remember 2 of them. (It was only a few weeks ago...)

They were all very specific though - nothing as vague as your 'why do think it's a good match' and they all related directly to the DCs. They were of the 'what issues do you think they might have regarding x' and 'they've experienced y, how do you think this may affect their ability to z'.

So totally the kind of questions that you'll be able to answer if you've read the CPR/given it any thought/paid any attention to your prep course/hung out on here for longer than 10 minutes.

And I cried all the way through too (and they still approved match!>

Good luck!

lilypink1977 Fri 15-Nov-13 10:57:44

Thanks everyone for your help! I guess this is SO nerve wrecking as it REALLY means EVERYTHING to us!

Ok so my next question(!!!) is how was introductions for you all? We've already spoken to the Foster Carer who seems delightful and very suportive but I am worried about being in someone's house and just how weird it all is!!

TrinnyandSatsuma Fri 15-Nov-13 17:03:07

Hi,

I found matching panel less stressful than approval panel. It was a really positive, special event actually. A few panel members had tears in their eyes and it felt like they were genuinely delighted to say yes to the match.

Our SW had all the hard questions!

Good luck. Let us know how you get on.

x

excitedmamma Fri 15-Nov-13 22:22:00

Hi & good luck... I actually enjoyed Matching Panel and too cried before, during and after...

They were all so nice... so blinkin friendly and lovely... the chair person in particular before we went in was so lovely...

In our case, the Social Workers went in first and dealt with the majority of their questions... we had two token questions which we blubbed through...

They discussed/voted and 3 minutes later the chair came out and told us their unanimous decision...

I wouldn't describe anything as a 'formality' but if you are being put forward then you obviously have everyone's support so you're half way there...

Very best of luck x x x x

Happiestinwellybobs Sat 16-Nov-13 07:26:14

lily If you have a lovely FC, things are much easier, but still tough! I felt very odd for the first couple of days, but we were so lucky with our FC. I remember just going off to make us all a brew and then realising how very much at home they had made us.

FC are all different. Ours fed us, and encouraged us to treat it like our home, giving us lots of support and then slowly backing off. My advice would be that they know the child the best right now, so follow their lead, take their advice and discuss what will work best. DD's FC and us talked about intros week, agreed on changes to the plan, then 'sold' them to the SWs.

But even with the best FC, intros are difficult - physically, emotionally, and mentally draining. My advice would be to plan, plan, plan. So make sure you have nothing else to do in that time. Get your house clean, batch cook meals, get wine cooling and prepare for a roller coaster of a ride.

I remember it as one of the best weeks of my life but also one in which I could barely lift my head some evenings when we got home smile

Good luck with panel.

MyFeetAreCold Sat 16-Nov-13 09:57:18

Yes! Exactly what happiest said. Also if your LA is prepared to pay for you to stop in a B&B, do it. We were exhausted like never before...

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now