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So proud of my DD1!!

30 replies

Lilka · 06/11/2013 16:36

This is an unashamedly braggy post, we all need one once in a while

Also if anyone else wants to brag about their wonderful kids (birth or adoptive) on this thread, please feel free to do so - we all love a good braggy thread once in a while

She:

  1. As of today, 1 year since her last cigarette (she gave up when pg with DGD1 but then started again after the birth for a few months and then suddenly found the will to give up for good) Woo!!!


She had her very first sneaky cigarette when she was 10 by the way and had a few here and there after that, and started secretly smoking regularly when she was about 12 which made me feel like the biggest failure as a mum ever. Never managed to get her to stop, the older she got the more a day she got through. She stopped all on her own with her family cheering her every step of the way, and it's really hard if you start young so Grin Grin

  1. She really wanted to write something about her life herself and after hearing someone at a toddler group railing against same sex marriage and adoption rights, she was absolutely determined to write something. So, she and I co-authored a blog post about her story and why 'gay adoption' is so vital for some kids. She wrote a lot of it herself and I'm so poriud of her because it takes so much guts, to even anonymously write about the thing she chose to write about. Would you read her writing? (Also, if you like it I think she's really appreciate nice comments, she was nervous about putting it up) - it's here


Any more braggers and achievements? :)
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Italiangreyhound · 06/11/2013 17:14

Amazing, please tell your daughter she is wonderful, well written piece and so clear.

A lifetime ago I might have felt every child needed two parents but long ago I realised that children need different things! Bless you Lilka you are incredible, and so is she.

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Kewcumber · 06/11/2013 17:26

I really enjoyed reading it (if thats the right way to put it!). It is an important element to same sex couple adoption or single adoption though I don't think (and I know you don't either) that this is the only circumstance in which gays and lesbians should be adopters.

It does strike me as ironic that some people are anti gay adoption because they seem to have a peculiar view that gay=paedophile (though more so with men than women I think) whereas it is often a safer bet for a child to be placed with someone who isn't going to bring a member of the sex they're scared of into the house.

I also love the fact that this upbringing has helped enable your lovely DD1 become the person that she wants to be including marriage and children. One in the eye for those oddballs who seem to think you can catch gay!

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LalyRawr · 06/11/2013 17:26

Shared it on FB (hope you don't mind).

Best argument I've ever heard and I defy anyone to tell me you're DD is wrong.

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LalyRawr · 06/11/2013 17:26

Your not you're.

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Devora · 06/11/2013 17:43

It's an amazingly powerful piece of writing, Lilka. Thank you for sharing it. You are such a gifted writer, and your daughter too - what a clear, brave, open piece that is by her.

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Lilka · 06/11/2013 18:09

Thank you so much everyone :)

I will pass all of your comments on to her (and she will see all the blog comments). She will really appreciate it, it's difficult for her to talk about and she does struggle with writing so it will be great for her to know her efforts have paid off :)

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Choccyjules · 06/11/2013 18:58

Wow. Thank you for sharing it here and please thank your daughter for putting all this into words. She has clearly explained why one size doesn't fit all.

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Maiyakat · 06/11/2013 20:25

Fantastic post - so articulate about such difficult issues. I have also shared on Facebook.

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motherinferior · 06/11/2013 20:28

I loved that Grin

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Tinlegs · 06/11/2013 20:32

I have shared this on Facebook. Thank you so much.

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Lilka · 06/11/2013 20:50

Thanks again - I've spoken to her and she wants people how pleased and grateful she is for all the lovely comments, shares and agreement :)

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holycowwhatnow · 06/11/2013 21:03

Powerful post, well done to you both.

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cedar12 · 06/11/2013 21:04

Great postSmile

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jonicomelately · 06/11/2013 21:27

Fantastic post. Heartfelt and every word of it true. I recall watching a programme about a boy who was awaiting adoption. He was loyal towards his birth mother, so the sw placed him with a gay couple which he was comfortable with.

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Levantine · 06/11/2013 21:38

That is such a powerful piece of writing. Thank you.

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notallytuts · 08/11/2013 23:05

What a fab piece of writing, and a perspective that I'd never considered before (despite being very pro-adoption rights for gay people).

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Devora · 08/11/2013 23:22

Quick brag hijack: my dd2 (just turned 4) got the Big Heart award at school today for being so kind to the other children - especially the little boy with disabilities who, his mum told us, my dd has taken under her wing and is looking after him like a little mother. My heart could burst with pride [soppy emoticon].

I always tell my kids that it's great to be clever, funny, pretty etc, but that the most important thing of all is to be kind. Nice to get that affirmed Smile

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Lilka · 08/11/2013 23:32

Devora That's fantastic, what a lovely little girl you have :) You are very right, being kind is the most important thing, and your daughters are clearly a credit to your mothering

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Kewcumber · 08/11/2013 23:36

How lovely Devora - DS's report last year said how kind and encouraging he was to his classmates when they were doing their show and tell. It made me cry! Blush Because with his Genghis Khan feisty tendencies being kind doesn't always come naturally to him.

Being kind is so terribly important. It matters to us all, all our lives.

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RhondaJean · 08/11/2013 23:46

Lilka that's a very moving and eloquent piece by your daughter.

I would always support same sex couples adopting on equality grounds but she's given me a whole new perspective.

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RhondaJean · 08/11/2013 23:47

Not just same sex couples sorry that's not quite what I meant to say but hopefully you get me.

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ObtuseAngel · 09/11/2013 00:27

That was lovely to read Lilka, thank you.

Congratulations to your Dd2 Devora. Smile

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Astarael · 09/11/2013 22:33

That was a wonderful piece Lilka. I hope you don't mindas I'm not an adoptive parent but have shared this on my facebook too.

I spend quite a bit of time reading these boards as I really learn a lot from all of you. I've always been pro gay adoption rights but this is again a new perspective. Well done Lilka's dd1!

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Inthechelseahotel · 09/11/2013 22:56

Lovely to read Lilka, she and you sound amazing

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youarewinning · 09/11/2013 23:10

Amazing blog. She is lucky to have you as a mum and your lucky to have her as a daughter.

Sexual preference doesn't make someone a good or bad parent. Someone who can put their child's needs first makes them a good parent.

Your reasons for why a same sex couple, or single person may be the best placement for a child are heartwrenching - but sadly justified and true.

I wish you both all the best.

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