Next week.....

(11 Posts)
Mama1980 Sun 03-Nov-13 10:18:51

So I Just got a call and my dds birth mum is in hospital, they plan to deliver the baby next week. 4 weeks early but they are worried about the baby s development she has been using during this pregnancy. The baby will be placed with me almost immediately it seems.
Scared doesn't even begin to cover how I'm feeling. Have to tell dd when she gets up, she was at a party last night.
Sorry for the rant but it feels good to write things down.

Theoldhag Sun 03-Nov-13 10:25:46

(((hug))) mama I hope that all will be ok and that your chat with dd goes as well as can be expected. You take care brew

Very exciting and nerve wracking! Will she take her cue from you? If you are calm and excited but encouraging her, 'you will make a great sister' etc will she follow your lead?

So exciting but hard too. All the best.

Kewcumber Sun 03-Nov-13 14:10:09

Good luck

Good luck. Thinking of you and praying for your new baby. thanks

Mama1980 Mon 04-Nov-13 17:37:25

Thanks all. Dd reacted well she's such a star I cannot express how proud I am of her and how far she's come. When we talked she just hugged me and said thanks, I felt my Heart could burst with just how proud I am of her. Ds1 understands mostly but doesn't really seem bothered he already knows all about dd being from another ladies tummy but thinks of her as his sister totally and ds2 is too young to care.
Exactly how the next week or two will pan out is dependent on how dds birth mum acts but so far she has co operated she wanted things to happen this way after all. I want desperately to help her, I still remember the girl she once was but also know we are so far beyond that it isn't even a remote possibility. I have to protect my children they are my only priority, doesn't mean I don't wish things could be different though confused
We won't know how the baby is until she is born but have everything crossed she won't go through withdrawal though I have been advised that it is a serious possibility.

Maryz Tue 05-Nov-13 21:16:02

Best of luck.

Have you ever read EarthMotherImNot's fostering threads? Sadly she died earlier this year, but she had the most fantastic thread about fostering a baby whose mother had used during pregnancy.

One piece of advice - don't hesitate to ask for help if you are struggling. Your emotions are going to be all over the place, especially if you see her mother again, and it's going to be tough going from three to four children, with the baby needing extra attention. Make sure you ask for help before you crack and don't just assume you will be able to manage.

Hopefully you won't need it, but all the same ....

And flowersbrewwine[vallium] for you all.

scarlet5tyger Fri 08-Nov-13 15:03:56

Hi, im a foster carer who's cared for numerous drug exposed babies. Feel free to pm me if you need advice. smile

scarlet5tyger Fri 08-Nov-13 15:06:11

Just read they plan to place baby with you almost immediately which suggests they're not expecting much withdrawal - most babies born to drug addicted mothers require at least a few days (usually more) in SCBU. I've not had one come to me less than 2 weeks after being born. So that's a good sign.

Mama1980 Fri 08-Nov-13 15:13:37

Thank you so much scarlet for the offer, much appreciated. thanks
When i said placed with me almost immediately I meant that I would be the one doing any hospital care/visits etc. I have a guardian ship order that will come into effect. the drs unfortunately have advised she will be in hospital likely for a while but they won't know more until after the birth.

Dysgu Sun 17-Nov-13 17:42:40

I am just jumping on to say what a fabulous person you are Mama - I haven't followed the whole of the story but know the background and what a big decision this must have been for you. What a great thing you are doing for DD1 and now DD2.

Hoping you have felt well over the past few months and that little DS2 is not so little now and doing really well as he approaches his first birthday.

I am in awe of you.

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