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Keeping all the emotions at bay!

(20 Posts)

Advice please. DD (9) keeps asking about when the child will come to live with us but we only got approved 7 weeks ago so I know it will still be a long time!

I am also fighting to keep all my emotions at bay. I know it has only been 7 weeks but actually have been seriously considering this for 7 years so feel quite stressed! In real life know several people with three or four kids and just so sick of hearing how hard it is for them with three kids etc and looking at photos of friend's families on facebook with all their kids. Just plain old fashioned jeolousy! How do I keep all these emotions at bay!

Middlesexmummy Wed 23-Oct-13 19:30:23

Hi Italian , I've been following your story often through the adoption pages ... Has no one been in touch about a possible match yet ? Do u also have to wait for 3 or so months before u can look nationally

No one has been in touch yet and it is 7 weeks now. I am not sure if we have to wait 3 months or if it is just that after 3 months they have to put us forward to the NAR.

Just getting frustrated waiting!

Thanks for replying.

Kewcumber Thu 24-Oct-13 11:50:10

How do I keep all these emotions at bay!

Ha ha ha ha haaa!

Good luck with that one. You will go insane trying. Best just accept that you are going to be a little crazy for a while and tell everyone close to you how stressful it is at every opportunity.

Borng people to death with a whinge about how stressful the waiting is tends to stop them asking "have you heard anything yet" both on that occasion and if you are boring enough about it then also prevemts them ever asking again.

I wish I had used this strategy.

Jealousy can;t be avoided either. I spent a lot of time reading Mumsnet and other adoption blogs whilst crying of an evening. It didn;t help but it whiled away those long winter nights.

Thats not really helpful is it?

Kew my dear you are always helpful. Thanks.

Middlesexmummy Thu 24-Oct-13 16:06:42

Hey , can you start looking yourself then ? Some of my friends found their children through the organised fairs whilst others went through CwW

Moomoomie Thu 24-Oct-13 16:46:48

I was never in the situation where we had to wait for a match... Thank goodness, as I am not a particularly patient person.
Try and stay sane, enjoy this time with your dd as an only child.
Remember your child is out there somewhere, they just haven't found you yet.
You will look back at this time in a few years time, as a family of four, and know why it took a while to be matched.

Thanks so much, we will go to an activity day, after my initial reservations I now feel ready!!!

RudolphLovesoftplay Fri 25-Oct-13 16:08:55

Have you contacted your SW? Bearing in mind that you are prepared to become parents to an "older" child, I'm really surprised they haven't been in contact with you. Even if their weren't any suitable matches, I think it's mean they haven't contacted you to say "we are still looking and haven't forgotten you"

cedar12 Fri 25-Oct-13 16:18:10

I should give them a ring just to remind them!

allthingswillpass Fri 25-Oct-13 20:46:46

Hassle your SW Italian!
We were far too polite and waited for a painfully long time.
Don't stress - when you get the call it will probably be another couple of months before you meet your little one and believe me that is worse.
Positive & kind thoughts from us xxxxx

MaryZombie Fri 25-Oct-13 20:54:26

Kew is right.

Give up, and just wander around sobbing that's what I did

Seriously though, can you pick things into the future to do with dd to take her mind off it. So book a night away, a trip to the theatre, odd things and put them on the calendar, so that the weeks ahead don't just look blank and drawn out.

Thanks one all.

I have a sneaky suspicion things are not moving! PM me if interested!

Kewcumber Fri 25-Oct-13 22:49:11

not moving or now moving - its a vital typo?!


roadwalker Sat 26-Oct-13 08:57:09

Have you got any regular contacts set up with SW
Our SW visited fairly regularly which helped us to feel things were happening

She brought info on children in the locality even if they did not fit our criteria- not details just lists - but it made us feel involved

When if does happen it can be quick although you are at the same time of year as we were and christmas usually halts everything
We were approved in the october, got info about our DD in feb ( she was the only child we got full info about ) and started intro in may

It didn't seem fast at the time but it does now

Thanks Roadwalker have pmed you.

Daisybell1 Sun 27-Oct-13 12:07:40

Italian I am a long-time lurker on this topic and have been following your story. Have fingers crossed that you get some positive news soon.

Thanks Daisybell.

Choccyjules Sun 27-Oct-13 23:41:25

Yes, me too, looking forward to sharing yr news when you get matched smile

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