what happends at the panel

(13 Posts)
Hels20 Fri 18-Oct-13 19:25:43

Our experience was v like My feet are Cold. We were in the room for about 15 mins. It was quite light - my husband made a joke about the vetting process (they had asked us how we had found it) and my DH said something along the lines that he had told his boss that he could be reassured now of DH's character having had all the assessments etc. my DH is a v relaxed but genuine and sincere guy.

We had to talk about how I would feel about leaving work (in fact, I knew I hated my job and unfortunately I lost it a week later) and also how we would have fun with the child. DH handled this brilliantly - I chipped in. Although we didn't plan it, we each took one of the 3 questions almost entirely on our own and then the last question together.

We then left the panel room and walked out - we were
Meeting our best friends and sponsors for dinner - either to commiserate or celebrate - and 5 mins after we left the room we got the thumbs up!

We are practising Christians (though we do miss the odd Sunday and are not overtly religious) but no questions came up about religion (I was worried about this as I had heard some panels are anti-religion).

We had no birth children so maybe that was why the questions posed were what they were.

Good luck!

Kewcumber Fri 18-Oct-13 18:09:48

It depends on your borough. Mine is notorious for having scary panels where parents spend more time in front of the panel than the social worker. Asked questions that were extremely difficult to answer and it was hard.

But I survived!

It was fine. I did feel worried. I had heard rumours that social workers didn't like Christians. Of course people are all different kind go into social work and one of the first social workers we met was a Christian!

Ours was not but seemed to be very understanding, she seemed to know that we were quite balanced people and did not even ask a lot of what would you do questions, which I was expecting!

She just asked us what we would do if our adopted child did did not become a Christian or did want to go to church when they were older. We just said that we would be the same with our adopted child as we are with our birth child. Of course we hope she/they will want to be a Christian as we are and we think it is good but we cannot make that happen and we would always know it is their choice.

It was really fine and I was very pleased it was not an issue. In fact all the things I worried about were not issues!

Devora Thu 17-Oct-13 23:41:08

That's interesting that they asked about your faith, IGH - I seem to remember you asking us if that would count against you right back when you started the process.

How did you feel they handled that conversation?

Thedoghouse I will tell you about mine and you may find it interesting but maybe no gaurantees yours will be the same!

Our social worker had warned us that she thought the questions would center around our birth child (DD, then 8) and how she would cope.

On the big day (me wearing a smart outfit) we met our social worker and new link worker in canteen for cuppa. The chair of the panel came out to meet us in foyer and asked us if we had any questions Then social worker and link worker and chair went into panel. Waited a while. Can't say how long but I am guessing about 20 minutes. Then the social worker came and got us to join them. The panel introduced themselves to us. The panel asked us about 5 questions, one was answered by just DH, one was answered by just me and the other three or so we both pitched in. Can't remember all the quetstions but something like, how would DD cope, and were we preparing her, how would DH cope with work/us with various things we are involved in at church etc/ not doing too much etc and as we are Christians how would we feel if adopted child did not become a Christian like us.

Then we left the room while they talked and then our social worker came back out to foyer and got us.

We walked in sat down and they said congratulations.

My advice to you is, wearing something that looks nice but feels comfortable, try not to worry (they won't bite) and remember to switch your phone off! (I left my phone on and it rang at a very inopportune moment!).

Good luck.

RadagastTheBrown Thu 17-Oct-13 22:38:09

Our Panel experience was a little different in that we weren't told what questions they were going to ask. Sounds scary but with the prep our SW had done with us, we knew pretty much the areas they were likely to want to explore.

Other than that, it was pretty much as described.

Remember, stressful as it is, you wouldn't be going to Panel if they didn't think you were likely to be approved!

Good luck.

Thedoghouse Thu 17-Oct-13 22:16:42

wow the matching soo excited smile smile thankyou

excitedmamma Thu 17-Oct-13 22:01:47

our panel was running late... our SW went in the room with the panel and was in there for about 40 mins!!

She then came out and gave us 3 questions.. .we had about 3 minutes to form our answers and then we all returned infront of the panel... we were 'introduced' to the panel members and they introduced themselves... they asked the questions and we gave our answers.. we were then asked to leave the room whilst they had a discussion and a 'vote' on our approval... chair person and our SW came into our waiting room about 5 mins later and told us we'd be recommended for approval.. .ratification came 7 days later...

It was terrifying and I felt very stressed.. probably due to them running late in the first place, but also at the length of time our SW was in with them, altho she has since stated that this is quite normal...

Thankfully the vote was unanimous although it doesn't have to be!!

Good luck... matching panel BTW was much more enjoyable, very emotional and much more friendly!!

Thedoghouse Thu 17-Oct-13 21:58:59

thanks very much myfeetarecold

MyFeetAreCold Thu 17-Oct-13 21:49:55

I think it varies from place to place.

For us, we met with our SW in a little meeting room, the head of the panel came out and said hello. They gave us a list of three questions they wanted to ask us based on all the discussions they'd already had without us, they took our SW away to talk to her and left us to prepare our answers. After about 20 mins or so, our SW came out and got us. Head of panel introduced us to everyone -- all 16 of them or so, but it does vary, and that was a lot -- and we answered our questions. We went back to the little room and a few minutes later, SW came out and told us we were approved.

Not the most fun I've ever had, but not hideous either.

Your SW will be able to tell you what to expect where you are though.

Good luck!

Thedoghouse Thu 17-Oct-13 21:27:24

thankyou hun , but what happends in the room plz ?

allthingswillpass Thu 17-Oct-13 21:23:30

Hi
You might be fortunate enough to have an agency who have a child in mind for you so it will be all systems go.
You might have to wait for a good match to come along within you agency.
After 12 weeks, you can request that you SW puts you on the NAR (National Adoption Register) so you can explore elsewhere.
Best of luck.

Thedoghouse Thu 17-Oct-13 21:12:08

can anyone tell me what happends at the panel please ,? we are half way through and looking at going to panel in jan 2014.

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