What possessions do the children come with? Gift advice needed for new family member

(35 Posts)
FrogsGoWhat Thu 10-Oct-13 21:20:14

We are very excited that someone in our family will soon be having a new son placed with them.

I would like to get a "baby shower" or happy adoption type present, but am unsure what would be most useful!

I presume they will Come from foster care with a full wardrobe? Or would new winter coat etc be useful! Will they need new toys or will they have their own already?

Sorry if I am asking stupid questions - I what the present to be a surprise, bt useful.

Hopemore Thu 10-Oct-13 21:24:36

I have no idea but I think that a nice age appropriate toy would be good.
Even if they already have some toys of their own.

StopDoingThat Thu 10-Oct-13 21:31:24

That's really nice Frog!
Each child probably comes with an entirely different set of belongings and the chances are even the new parents won't know until they arrive.
So I'd go for something that you need lots of rather than something you need one of (so pjs for example, rather than winter coat). Watch out for sizes though -- even if you know their age, you don't know that's the size they're wearing until someone meets them...

I really appreciated toys -- I was really aware my 2 were coming from a really busy foster home with lots of toys, to here where we only had what we'd bought specifically which just didn't seem like much.

FrogsGoWhat Thu 10-Oct-13 21:32:08

I suppose you can never have too much Lego grin

FamiliesShareGerms Thu 10-Oct-13 21:34:13

It will really depend, and your family might not know until the last minute either.

Something thoughtful like a winter coat would be nice (get a gift receipt just in case!) and DD got given lots of things like books - although she had loads of toys, she only had one book, so we suggested more when asked for present ideas. (In fact, we set up a John Lewis gift list for her, because friend's and family were so unsure what we needed, and unless he is a very little baby, it is much more expensive having an adoptive child come into your life than a newborn - think of things like high chair, plates, cutlery, bath toys....)

FrogsGoWhat Thu 10-Oct-13 21:34:37

Ooh yes sizing would be an issue. Toys it is then. I also don't know what he is into, so in all seriousness, I think Lego might be the answer - what child doesn't like lego! smile

Getting a brand new family is pretty epic. If it's going to be a relation if yours try and give something of yourself. What about a copy of your favourite book from childhood with an inscription? Might not be the right age range but something special to keep grin

FrogsGoWhat Thu 10-Oct-13 21:38:41

Xposted again. Thanks for the responses smile

I'll send something small for a surprise gift now then, and wAit until they know wat he really needs for the 'real' gift - sounds ok?

I knew it would be more expensive to have to get everything outright,rather than in bits like we have doe with DD, which is why I wanted advice. Thank you

FrogsGoWhat Thu 10-Oct-13 21:40:31

Ooh Hawidge - I like that idea! Will run it by DP as well and see if we can do both smile

FrogsGoWhat Thu 10-Oct-13 21:41:49

Sorry for typos- on phone in dark room next to poorly and badly sleeping toddler

Congratulations.

Please check how old the child is and then see what toys are age appropriate.

Lego is lots of small parts. If they are under a certain age they will not be able to use it for a while. There other options such as Stickle Bricks, which stick together

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stickle_Bricks

Also they may be a bit young for their age, some looked after children are, so the toy that is a bit old for their age may be even harder for their ability.

Some kids don't put things in their mouth but others do so of course most parents get to know what is safe for their child, but a new arrival like this will arrive at age 2, 3 , 4 or whatever but they will now yet know what they can do or what they can not do.

fasparent Thu 10-Oct-13 22:39:57

Having experience over the years seeing many baby's and children placed, Its common and realistic too think of the best interest of the child/baby in the early stages, who will feel strange in their new environment , reason why introductions too wider new family is slow, too enable them too form a bond with their new parents,
Will come with own toys clothes etc. things child/baby can relate too by sight, smell, having familiar possessions around them helps them too feel more secure and settle better.
As you said it may be better too wait awhile, sure your relative is over the moon and very happy and will no doubt discuss things with you nearer the time.

HerrenaHarridan Thu 10-Oct-13 22:51:53

A big cosy snuggly blanket.

An octobubble orchestra (bubble machine for bath)

A big box of wooden blocks

Oh wow.... An octobubble orchestra (bubble machine for bath)... sounds wonderful can I get one too!

lagoonhaze Fri 11-Oct-13 00:27:38

I was going to suggest childhood book too.

TeenAndTween Fri 11-Oct-13 13:33:55

I wouldn't have wanted clothes.

My DDs came with clothes that fitted them for that season.
Some were very nice, some not so much to my taste.

For DD1 (who was 7) I had to lump it, because she was attached to her clothes. She was reluctant to admit when they didn't fit. It was about 9 months before I got to buy her anything.

But I wanted to buy clothes to my taste. I'd waited long enough.

I would go for:
- books
- craft / paint / playdough. One of the best gifts we were given was a set og 6 plastic paint pots.

FrogsGoWhat Fri 11-Oct-13 13:45:35

oooh more suggestions thank you!

Well I have ordered a small age appropriate toy for now (have a toddler myself so know about the importance of age appropriateness), and DP and I have decided we will get a nice copy of a childhood book to keep, plus a gift voucher to buy some nice clothes later when the child arrives.

Just got to find a nice "Congratulations" card to send now!

I just didn't want SIL to miss out on the new "baby" type of congratulations just because she is "having" an older child. I know we wont be able to meet the child for some time as he will have to settle in with them first, but I didn't want her to have to wait for that IYSWIM?

TeenAndTween Fri 11-Oct-13 13:56:03

Sounds lovely. Well done.

Tillymint2u Fri 11-Oct-13 13:57:16

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

StopDoingThat Fri 11-Oct-13 15:22:35

Hello
Tilly, do you know the parents liked it? Seems a little odd to me -- (in the UK) the kids would normally come with a life story book made by social services with age appropriate details in already.

But Frogs, yy to card. I had to tell my family we would be expecting them. ;)

lagoonhaze Fri 11-Oct-13 16:00:51

Tilly is the founder of the website as shes come onto mumsnet especially to advertise.

StopDoingThat Fri 11-Oct-13 16:14:34

Oh. Nice. .... FFS.

StopDoingThat Fri 11-Oct-13 16:14:53

I would like to refer Tilly to my NN.

lagoonhaze Fri 11-Oct-13 16:19:02

Ive reported. It was the blantant lying that's annoyed me!

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