Activity days

(35 Posts)

Our local authority has an activity day where prospective adoptive parents and children looking for forever families can meet in an informal setting. Can anyone who has experience of these either as an adoptive parent, a social worker, or even as a child adopted themselves (would be fabulous to hear from someone in that position if possible, please) be able to comment, please?

Do you have any info on the children beforehand?
Do you see any pictures?
What happens?
How longs does it last?
What type of place does it happen in?
How are the expectations of the children and adults handled?
What happens if the child likes the look of a family/ a person who does not choose them?

If this information is at all sensitive or confidentual, please PM me.

Thanks.

And do we take DD (aged 9)????????

KristinaM Mon 07-Oct-13 23:21:17

No don't take DD. DEFO NOT. And don't tell her or anyone else you are going either. ( I mean friends and family) . Otherwise they will drive you mad asking questions you can't answer. Because of course you must tell no one anything about the kids you meet there

Sorry I don't know about your other question

KristinaM Mon 07-Oct-13 23:27:20

And your approval date is the date the decision was ratified by the agency decision maker . That may or may not be your panel date, it Depends if he /she was present at the panel . It's NOT when they write a letter or you get it

Thanks Kristina.

Why do you say don't take DD?

I can't see a problem with taking DD. I would not want to tell her exactly what it was about and would not want her to feel in any way she could choose a child. Of course that would not be right for her or the other children. That would probably lead to hurt feelings on her part etc. She might end up playing with a child her own age and then being upset we could not adopt someone her own age (which, of course, we cannot do and do not wish to do).

However, she would only know what it was about if we told her. Which we would not do.

We would say it was a party, we could say that it was for families involved in adoption but again she would have no idea the children were there with their foster carers and not their birth or adopted families. I think. She would be there with us so would probably assume that all the other kids were in the same boat. We have done a parenting course without her so we could say this was a party with her for adoptive families, which is true - but not the whole truth!

Her reading is so bad she would not be able to read a sign or pick up anything and know what it was about. So unless they actually told everyone what was going on, she would not know, in my opinion.

Anyone been and taken their birth child?

Thanks.

They do allow birth children to come, so must have calculated that it will not be harmful for the looked after children there, which is, of course, a main concern of mine and the reason I was not so in favour of adoption activity days!

However, now I have read more about them they do seem a very good way of getting to meet children and for children to find a forever family.

Thanks to all who have shared their views or experiences.

Still very keen to hear from people who have actually been to them, either as prospective parents or social workers, or children, please.

allthingswillpass Sat 12-Oct-13 17:12:52

No prospective families took children to the BAAF one we attended.
They run one in East Midlands - might be worth a look.

mummyof2munchkins Sat 12-Oct-13 22:33:59

Italian,

We attended an event several months ago as part of the BAAF trial. We were very sceptical, decided not to take our BS along and actually had a code word for "this isn't right - lets go". We worried that children would be expected to perform for adoptive parents to choose. The reality was very different. It was very well organised - there were children awaiting adoption playing alongside foster children and birthchildren. It would have been difficult for the children to understand who was who.

We had a great deal of fun playing will all of the children. We didn't find our child there but it did help us to remember that this very difficult adoption process is about children rather than lists of issues we can or can't deal with.

I recommend you attend and if you feel uncomfortable leave early. You will be given a list of children waiting for a link so you can express an interest at any point. If you find you have chemistry and are interested in finding out more about a child you can immediately speak to the FC and SW. This is a unique opportunity for you and the child.

Very best of luck.

mummyof2munchkins thanks so much that sounds great.

Can I ask why you did not take your son? Feel free to PM me.

I must admit after all I have read I don't have any fears that the children will be made to perform or anything. For what I have read on the Internet and heard by speaking to the BAAF lady it sounds like the kids have lots of fun.

I must admit it can be a bit impersonal thinking of the children very much in the kind of abstract. I even felt guilty looking at pictures on Be my Parent. Today in the car it dawned on me (again) this little one will be my child! It is so hard to get my head around. I am both excited and filled with trepidation.

Devora Sat 12-Oct-13 23:46:08

I don't have any experience of these events, IGH, but will be fascinated to hear how you get on and what you thought of it.

Best of luck x

Thanks Devora.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now