Hello, I've spent hours reading through the posts on this forum trying to make sense of my thoughts on adoption and whether it is something I want to pursue and I'm not quite there yet! My situation is that I am 30, my husband 32 and we have one birth daughter who is almost 4. Her birth was very complicated and as a result and subsequent pregnancies and indeed births would be high risk and potentially fatal for me and the baby so we decided after a debrief with a consultant to be clear about the situation that this was not a risk we were willing to take. I feel strongly however that I would like dd to have siblings if possible. DH is an only child himself and says he has no burning desire to have any more children. I am completely aware that he needs to be 100% for this before we consider applying and I also realise that this might never happen. It is something we are continuing to talk about. I am a teacher having recently had a career change to do this so want to allow a bit of time to settle into the role and sort our recovering finances after living as a student!
The thing I guess I keep returning to is whether I am deluded in thinking adoption is a way to complete out family. I have done lots of reading and am aware of the sorts of issues adopted children are likely to have and the unknowns and risks that are part and parcel of adopting. I like many others I am sure have limits as to what I would knowingly take on as a parent but in much the same way as I would and will deal with anything that comes our way regarding our birth child I would do the same with any child of mine. Ultimately though I want a family and reading the many posts on line it sometimes that adoption can be so disruptive that I wonder if this is really possible. I realise the road is often a rocky one, I realise that there are so many more unknowns than there are with birth children but ultimately if I am prepared for this is adoption likely to give me the happy family I would love to have, siblings that grow up together feeling equally loved and cared for. A family that for all intents and purposes is like any other. I'm not sure this is coming across at all how I mean it to, I guess I just want to know that it can have a happy ending for all involved whilst acknowledging that there is no certainty that this will be the case. I think I need to find some more honest but heartwarming stories to balance out some of the sadder ones I've read!
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Considering adoption to complete the family but are my hopes realistic?
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bibbetybobbityboo · 22/08/2013 12:38
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