Random vent about Things Other People Say

(205 Posts)
ColdfeetPinksocks Wed 21-Aug-13 15:04:02

I've already decided to try to not get cross when Other People say things like we're brave doing this or my children will be lucky to have us (really? lucky??) or mention their 'real mum' meaning someone other than me. I reckon that trying to edumucate most people on those things will just lead to me being snappish and that whilst they're ignorant of a lot of stuff about adoption they mean well.

But I am so, so, SO bored of hearing about how 'we won't know what's hit us'. Yes, believe it or not we did give it some thought. Quite a lot of thought actually. I'm aware that becoming a parent will alter my lifestyle. GAHHHH!!

(They don't say this to pg people do they? If they do, I'll eat my random venty hat.)

Buster51 Thu 19-Dec-13 13:38:25

Some of the biggest bug bears I've faced since adopting DS (age 4) is people not really taking it as serious as a "birth child". Has anyone else found this?! For example my workforce fully support woman who leave to give birth, tons of gifts well wishes & the like, baby showers you name it. For me adopting a child I felt I only really got asked questions from people wanting to fish for information! "So he's your partners nephew? What is wrong with his mum" etc etc.

As well as the "surely you won't need all that time off work after all he will be in school"! Prior to his placement with us I actually started thinking that way myself! But my god I have needed the time off! It is equally as life changing as giving birth surely!

But I have to say my entire family were 100% supportive & love him to bits, he is very much a grandchild & 7th great grandchild :-)

Where I live in quite a small village I do struggle knowing how much/how little information I should tell them! When they say things like where has he been hiding for 4 years (I front of him!)

Lilka Thu 19-Dec-13 13:56:28

I avoid school play photo threads like the plague now. I saw the one you were on though moomoomie the utter cheek of that person who said you were 'exaggerating' shock

I saw a profile of a dog up for 'adoption' a year or so ago (no, we're not getting a dog!) and the rescue/rehoming centre said this dog needed experienced owners because she had attachment issues and behavioural problems. I had to read the words 'attachment issues' a few times before my mind stopped boggling

If we've got the stage where rescue centres can identify dogs and cats with attachment issues, but some professionals and many people still think human children don't get attachment issues or can just 'get over it'....do we have a problem?

Kewcumber Thu 19-Dec-13 17:06:30

Hmmm I wonder when I'm having issues with DS's anxiety again I should in fact be contacting Battersea Dogs home rather than our social worker. AS they are such experts n'all

KristinaM Fri 20-Dec-13 08:53:30
holycowwhatnow Tue 24-Dec-13 21:06:52

Had a visitor yesterday evening at dd's bedtime so she was tired, cranky and destructive. I was trying to catch her to put her into her PJs and she wasn't cooperating. My visitor said 'Let your Mammy put your PJs on or she'll be getting another little girl from Russia.' I know this woman well and was not shocked that she would say something stupid like this. She's the foster mother of the child (now adult) that we provided respite foster care to for 10 years. Said child (now adult) has attachment disorder and her FM has said horrendous things to her over the years.

DD didn't seem to hear her, or didn't act as though she had but I just said 'DD is our girl forever, we don't want any other girl' because it was the first thing I could think of.

Stupid woman.

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