Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on adoption.
ZOMBIE THREAD ALERT: This thread hasn't been posted on for a while.
What happens at a panel?(10 Posts)
They won't say no SWs should only take you to panel if they're confident of you being approved. It is nerve wracking before you get in. But everyone is lovely to you when you get in there.
I do remember quite a funny bit - the doctor asked DH a question about his medical history - but unfortunately he had a very strong accent and mumbled. I hadn't a clue what he had said. DH looked at me in panic, clearly not having heard either, and realised I wasn't going to be much help. So he just started talking about what he thought the question might have been. And talking... But they seemed happy with the response. Phew!!
* Happiestinwellybobs* thanks, have pmed you with more questins!
Bananaketchup good point about the clothes, luckily I bought a new dress so won't be wearing the same clothes in the photo at all.
FamiliesShareGerms excellent, thanks.
Lilka I feel excited, but scared about the verdict. What if it is NO!!!
Moomoomie * I feel we have been on this journey with you from the beginning. There will be many of us rooting for you..* thanks so much, what a lovely thing to say.
next week, not next week, next month, just 4 weeks away! [Teeth chattering and scared emotion!]
Similar experience to others. When we adopted our first two girls in 2001 we did not need to attend panel, our SW took our "case" forward, we then received a phone call to sat we had been approved..... Very nerve wracking.
When we adopted dd3 we actually attended panel, it was a busy panel day and we were last on the list, so we were kept waiting 2and a half hours! Horrendous! SW went in first, then we were called in. Few questions, mostly about the older two.
We were then told, there and then that it was a unanimous "yes"
Good luck to you, I feel we have been on this journey with you from the beginning.
There will be many of us rooting for you next week.
I've been to 5 panels which have basically all followed a similar format. I arrived, and waited in the next room with my social worker while panel had a chat.
They called us in, and asked me questions. Then I left and my social worker stayed so she could answer questions. (Once I've been in the room when the social worker was asked questions, once the SW was called in alone to answer questions and then I was called after).
After both me and the SW have come out we sat together while panel had a last little talk and vote. Then my social worker was called in to hear their 'verdict' and she told me when she came out.
Panel was always about 12 people
We had about 12 people sitting opposite us (a mix of council people, independents eg adoptive parent, former adopted child). We sat with our SW, who did quite a bit of talking too.
They asked us lots of questions, including about the impact if adopting on our birth child (which we were pleased about).
We left the room for a bit then went back in and they all went round to confirm their approval and why.
On one hand the scariest "job interview" I have ever done. But remember that they are basically on your side and want you to succeed.
Will reply to your message later, just about to leave the house
What happened for me was:
I waited in the next room to go in, I think while they reminded themselves who I was - they've already had the PAR and everything to read beforehand. I was nervous but mostly distracted by the fact that I was wearing the same top I was wearing in the photo on my PAR and worrying if they'd notice!
The chair of the panel came out and introduced herself to me, and I was shown in with my SW and the deputy team leader, we sat at the head of the table, me in the middle of the two SWs! Everyone around the table (prob 12 or so?)introduced themselves, they all had labels in front of them saying who they were as well. SW was questioned first, I think only for a few minutes but it felt a bit weird listening to her answer questions about me while I was sitting there.
Then they asked me a few questions, not that many. I know they asked me about finances and a bit about my housing and how I saw being a parent balancing with my work. Oh and they asked me something about the shift from living alone to being a parent, and the support I have. They asked if I had anything I wanted to say as well.
Then I was sent out to the waiting room again, I guess while they discussed anything which came up - only a couple of minutes. Then the panel chair came to me and said it was a yes, and suggested a couple of things to think about for the next stage. SW gave me a hug and that was it!
It was nerve wracking but not that bad - they expect you to be nervous so I felt like that took the pressure off in a way. Also I knew the adoption team shouldn't bring anyone to panel if they're not confident the person will be approved, cos it's a waste of everyone's time and makes them look bad too. So if you're going to panel, it means the adoption team think you will be approved. Good luck!
We had about 10 people sat around the table (including 2 student observers). Our SW sat with us. They asked us a few questions. Why did we want to adopt, we had we decided upon a girl, how did we feel our dog would cope and a question about DH's medical history. It was over in next to no time. We then went and sat in a waiting room while they talked about us with our SW.
Then the chair came and told us that we'd been approved. I cried. DH tried not too, I flung my arms round the chairperson who looked quite bemused.
Then we celebrated with lunch and began the wait for a phone call
Good luck at panel.
I have no idea but will wish you all the best.
The only formal bit we did was when the adoption was finalised. We had to bring them with us, we walked into a "court" which was a room with about 20 people in it. They asked names and whether we wished it to be final. We said yes. Then we were asked to sign something.
At which point I realised I was scared. My hands were shaking so much I couldn't hold the pen and had to ask to sit down for a bit. They were very nice about it.
I'm sure it's all different nowadays.
Wishing you all the very best
We are just under a month away from our approval panel!
Excited, nervous, and all the rest.
Have just bought myself a new dress.
Now all I need to know is what to will happen at the panel??
Join the discussion
Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.Register now
Already registered with Mumsnet? Log in to leave your comment or alternatively, sign in with Facebook or Google.
Please login first.