Getting started with adoption and feeling nervous/excited ...

(32 Posts)
firenze2 Tue 12-Feb-13 15:11:44

Hi everyone. I'm a newbie on the site and I've been checking out some of the threads. It is nice to feel like I'm not 'the only one' dealing with stuff like unexplained infertility, failed IVF cycles, 'everyone' else getting pregnant but me, and other fun things like that. Like some of the people on here, we thought about adoption for a long time, but always thought it would happen after a biological child. Well, that was the original thinking but now DH and I are moving on. We have done a prelim interview and in our area the next step is a prep course - time TBC. Hopefully sooner rather than later!

theonehandman can you tell me, please, when your little one came home what did you and your wife found helpful in terms of getting to know little one?

Did you chat, play games, ask questions, guess etc. I mean stuff like what they like to eat, do, watch on TV etc? Did you find you and your wife went about stuff differently?

Just asking, feel free to ignore if you wish to.

Thanks.

Familyfinder Tue 02-Apr-13 21:39:51

I'm feeling a little perplexed to be honest and wonder if anyone has experienced a similar situation in their homevisits. Our Social Worker seems to be hung up on the fact that my husband lived with an ex and her 3 children she is now with his brother (a situation which has caused a rift between them (although he did attend our wedding and my husband spoke to him when he was ill). This I may add is the only 'skeleton' we have in either of our family closets!. The SW has visited the ex and is happy that my DH was good with her children but she talks on and on about his ex every visit (she even put her on the family tree although she is not married to his brother. I had a 2 hour one to one with her the other day and guess what she talked about? Will it ever stop??

Italiangeryhound - My apologies I have not answered you. The introductions we had lasted about ten days, and we got to know him well during that period, plus the foster carer was brilliant, she was very helpful and offered a great deal of advice. When he first moved in all we did was make sure we stuck to the routine, and spent as much time as we could playing with him. We couldn't leave the house, so we just played and played so we got used to the three of us in the house. You learn what they are like as you do it really. It depends on age of the child but our lad was about 18 months when he moved in, so we put ourselves in his shoes - all he wants to do is mess about, eat and poop! That is what we did!!!

theonehandman Thanks you. So ....mess about, eat and poop! Sound fun. Thanks for sharing. Can I ask where you got your name?

Hi everyone
I know it is not exactly good form to start peddling my wares on the discussion board so not going to be making a habit of it. I have however written a post about tips for starting the adoption process - you may (or may not) find some useful. If you want to have a ganders please click here Thanks

firenze2 Wed 17-Apr-13 15:57:26

Thanks for sharing, onehand. There was a time DH and I had thought he would be the one to stay at home, but circumstances have changed so it will be me. Sort of surprised by how happy I am with that, as there was a time I would have preferred it the other way around. Things change!

Glad you like your SW, Italian. She sounds efficient!

We just had our first home visit for assessment today and began dealing with the mountain of paperwork recently ... our sw seems really organised, which is great.

We also have our third prep group session tomorrow, so things are really starting to pick up some speed (at last!).

firenze2 Wed 17-Apr-13 16:00:05

Ha - sorry, my last message is out of sync with the thread. I was looking at some earlier posts ...

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