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Adoption

Introductions - just curioous

13 replies

Italiangreyhound · 17/01/2013 13:59

Please could I ask if anyone has any idea of the time from the first mention of a possible child to be adopted/matching, then the time until start of introductions and how long the introductions might last, please?

Also, how often do introductions break down and don't end up in placement/adoption, please?

Thanks so much, just trying to get my head around it, please?

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Parsnipcake · 17/01/2013 14:40

It depends on age, complications, time of year etc. I am an f. And usually for a baby, a family is pinpointed within 6 weeks of placement order, discussions can take 2-4 weeks ( meeting fc etc), panel can then take 1-2 months and intros begin a week later, for 5-10 days. The older the child the longer each things take as there will be more reports, meetings with teachers etc and planning for new school etc. intros for a 5 yr old can take 3 weeks, for siblings can be longer.

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Happiestinwellybobs · 17/01/2013 14:44

We met our DD two months after being called about her (the longest wait ever!!) The bridging took just over a week, but she was young (10 months).

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MyDogEatsPoop · 17/01/2013 15:23

I had the phone call at the very end of September, meeting with social worker and foster carer in the middle of October, met teacher a couple of days ago, and am going to Matching Panel next week. Not been given a date for intros yet, but expected to be very soon after. I think in my case it's dragged a lot, but they wouldn't do anything before Christmas. She's nearly five, and I was told intros would take between a week and ten days.

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jenny60 · 17/01/2013 19:22

Ours was very quick after being approved for years. She moved in within two months of us being told about her. Introductions only 6 days!

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WendyGx · 17/01/2013 19:44

Hi and I would advise the time is absolutely dependant on the child's needs and there are no set timescales. How long they have been in their current foster placement (so moves are not too soon), have they had many moves, have they been prepared for adoption (how long this might take will depend on age and many more variables), how they might adapt with change, how well the form attatchments, what their age is and more. Are their landmarks you need to avoid for the child - birthdays etc. Do you need to coincide it with an event - school holidays? On age; younger seems to be quicker and whilst the older but some children might need time, but age isn't a factor that works alone - what if their level of understanding and ability to understand? If a mathematician was asked to write the formulae I'd say its a doctorate level one!

I think I have learned its absolutely based on the child (as it should be) and not determinable until a link is made. Even then, you can predict some of the above but not really guarantee it until the stage starts and is in progress. I would also add that you need time too! Quick isn't necessarily good. I must admit desirable as you are likely to be claiming them and wishing for the time to come. But my view (now) is it needs to be the righ amount of time - no matter how frustrating the wait is - it will be for the benefit of the child and how they settle with you. Some things are worth the wait eh?

I have heard of lots of suggestions of possible matches that have gone no further after CPD reports are written and our SW encouraged us to be honest and say no, it wouldnt be held against us.

I have just heard from a friend of one matching panel which declined a match and this was very very rare, so if you make it to panel its looking pretty good. I have not any experience of breakdown at intros, but we've all heard the sad stories of breakdown in the first few months of placement. But I'd focus on getting the right match and learning what I have about you - you are thorough, thoughtful and logical - I have no doubt you'll make the best decision you can with all the information you can.

This is long but I know you always give others all the support you can (incl me!) and I hope this helps - even though its not a number!

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Lilka · 17/01/2013 22:37

It took months with both my older ones, and waiting is hard, but I needed time to read and gather information, then there was a wait for all the meetings, then for matching panel, then another little wait after that so they could be 'prepared' to meet me by the foster parents

I think my intros would be longer than you could expect to have as I had much older, they took over 2 weeks. DS was a much shorter time and I think you could expect about a week to a week and a half for a preschool aged child?

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Italiangreyhound · 18/01/2013 01:53

Thanks so much, very helpful.

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funnychic · 18/01/2013 03:07

I first heard about my dd in October had a delay when FC went away for a few weeks so didn't make a proper decision until Dec, matching panel Jan 16th and intros starting 25th for 7 days!

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Devora · 18/01/2013 11:06

As you've heard, it really varies. We moved relatively quickly because my dd was a baby, and they try to move babies in as quickly as possible (whereas older children need more gradual preparation). I think we heard about dd in May, went to matching panel in July, started introductions 10 days after, introductions lasted five days.

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Italiangreyhound · 18/01/2013 15:54

My reason for asking is trying to work out the old timing thing. Want to give work plenty of warning if we are approved but nervous boss will swing into full replacement mode and get someone in and it will all fall through! But as intros seem to take only a week or two, it seems I need to be pepared to tell boss once we are approved or once we are matched?? Any thoughts? Please?

I mean they know I am doing this but my boss is a bit away in another busy world and don't know if he has quite put two and two together and worked out I will not be around for quite a while!

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Happiestinwellybobs · 18/01/2013 18:35

It is really difficult for employers - with my organisation I felt it necessary to tell them of everything that happened. So when I got the call that DD was a possibility I told them immediately, when we got approval panel date etc. My boss did go into "interview for replacement" mode, but we explained to all candidates that it wasn't a definite (that we had to go to panel), and gave a provisional start date. It worked really well :)

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FamiliesShareGerms · 20/01/2013 16:22

We were told about DD when we came out of approval panel. Two days later we were linked. Later that week we had a meeting with DD's family finder. Two weeks later we met the foster carers. A month after approval we had our matching panel and we started introductions the following week. She came home with us for good a 9 days after we met her. So very very fast in our case!

I told work straight away when the match looked like it would proceed because we knew that it would be going through quickly, so they had about four weeks notice that I was going off for a year...

I think the right timings depend completely on your circumstances eg the role, the details of the match etc etc, rather than there being a hard and fast rule. Double check your staff hand book for guidance too - I think mine says to give notice following matching panel

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Italiangreyhound · 20/01/2013 18:00

Thanks, I think I had better find out from HR what I am required to do then tell my boss if I will be able to do anything more than that. I guess until we get approved there is no point in telling them anything! Yet!

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