DD was deliberately injured at 22 months and left with a 32% scald injury. She has no conscious memory of this, but has at a few points talked about dreaming of a man shouting (the perpetrator was a man) and a child screaming. That's all the dream seems to contain, but when she tells me about it it makes her cry. Could this be a real memory - albeit unconscious...? Or could it be an imagined thing that she's been thinking about and so it creeps into dreams...? The third option could be that it is an attention seeking thing - similarly real or imagined as DD has a tendency to want to be 'felt sorry for' - harsh this may sound I know, but before anyone jumps on me, it is a feature of DDs attachment disorder and something we just know about and deal with. She has had a few episodes of this such 'dream' over the last couple if years (she is 13) but it only seems to be an issue when she is struggling with something else - recently its been friendship stress at school. I am almost certain that when these settle again the 'dream' will miraculously disappear and not get another mention - for a while. I think it is a (generally unconscious) way of her saying, 'I need looking after a bit at the moment' As a result of this part of our parenting journey, I've let her tell me about this dream but not asked too much, kist let her talk and have been fairly low-key in my reactions. I've explained that although it is distressing, it is just a dream and that it cannot hurt her. I've also suggested some calming strategies for if it does happen - waking herself up, getting a drink, reading or listening to music for a few minutes, etc Has anyone else had any aspects of this such situation before...? Specific to adoption/trauma etc, I mean...? Should I be more concerned? Is there something else I could or should be doing? My stance is that distressing (or even made up) as it is (could be), it is only a dream and there is not much we can do to prevent or fix it. It also feel unhelpful to start analysing this dream - at face value it seems fairly straightforward as an unconscious memory becoming more conscious but it may actually not be that at all - and it is unhelpful to dwell on it. In writing that sounds so harsh, but I guess it's a survival technique for me too Any (adoption/trauma specific) thoughts would be welcome... Thanks. MPD
Please or to access all these features
Please
or
to access all these features
Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on adoption.
Adoption
DD distressing dreams/?memories - any experiences...?
11 replies
misspollysdolly · 13/01/2013 22:55
OP posts:
Please create an account
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.