Any advice for prep group??

[Italiangreyhound]

In a couple of short weeks we have got our prep group. So excited!

Any advice, from expereinced adopters, please?

What to do, ho wmuch to ask, how much to say?

What to wear??

Sounds silly, but am suddenly nervous!

Thanks a million, and hope you all had a lovely Christmas.

[Devora]

Ask questions, yes - they want to see that you accept you have loads to learn, and that you are committed to developing your understanding.

But don't dominate the group.

They will tell you that you can ask anything. But be aware that they are assessing you throughout.

Wear smart casual clothes. Just look clean and neat, really.

Don't bother arguing with them about their policies on, for example, racial matching (as one couple did in our group). There's no point and it won't work in your favour.

They will tell you a lot about what the children have gone through and how unhappy-ever-after your life might be post-adoption. Understand why they have to do this, take on all the information without getting despondent.

If you have birth children, show you are keen to learn more about the differences between parenting biological children and adopted children.

Best of luck!

[Smudgerbabe]

How exciting! I can't say I'm an experienced adopter but I did the prep course a few months ago and it was OK!

I was worried about the same things but in retrospect (corny alert) I think you just need to be yourself!!

I would just say from my course it would be useful to have done some background reading and research (internet is fine), think of a few things from your childhood, join in all the games and activities enthusiastically, be prepared to be split up during some of the activities, don't completely hog the conversation and enjoy it!

Oh and we had a foster carer come in, 2 adopters, CAMHS, child psychologist, etc etc so you could think of some questions in advance if you wanted.

Most of the content I had already researched previously, I found the foster carer/adopters and the 'real life' case studies from the LA most useful, but I was surprised at how many potential adopters there seemed to know nothing about the process or attachment etc etc. But that's what the course was for so why should they?

Oh - we were all wearing pretty casual, jeans and jumpers type thing (even the social workers) - comfort!

I think you'll enjoy it but be prepared for long days (I took food and drink even tho they supplied lunch) and keep the evenings clear. Have fun!

[Smudgerbabe]

Just to back up Devora's comments - there was a lot of doom and gloom stuff (again if you've researched you'll know a lot already and be prepared) but our social workers kind of told of us that it would be a lot of that and not to let it put us off as they had to tell us the worse case scenarios. The adopters' amazing positive true life stories kind of balanced it!

[Italiangreyhound]

Thanks so much. Very helpful.

I am so excited but also nervous.

[Happiestinwellybobs]

Would back up what previous posters have put. Make sure your evenings are free - ours was tiring. Day 1 was very much doom and gloom. DH and I seriously wondered whether everyone would come back for Day 2.

I had read a couple of books and was able to recommend these to others (but it wasn't essential).

Be prepared to get stuck in with silly icebreakers, discussions and group work. They say that they are not assessing you, but one of the SW's (who had done our initial interview) came over in Day 2 and said we were doing really well! So they clearly are. But don't let that concern you too much - try and forget about that. I approached one of the SW's (thinking she was a FC) and started a conversation about her experience, before she kindly put me right and that didn't seem to matter :)

Good luck.

[Italiangreyhound]

Thanks Happiest. I did think they would be assessing us, but I can only do my best. I kind of do worry what they will make us do! I hope it is not Twister or dancing! probably look for someone else who has red bed socks etc!!

Am nervous but excited.

[Devora]

I should add that I got an enormous amount from prep. It was really worthwhile.

[Happiestinwellybobs]

Our icebreaker was chat to the person next to you (not DH) and find out all about them and then tell the group. Always worth reminding yourselves that sometimes the SW doing the course may be nervous - presenting is not everyone's strength... One of ours hadn't done it before and was visibly nervous - we ended up encouraging them :). No one will be trying to trip you up. They just want to see the real you - it was really enjoyable, just very tiring!!