DS is 7

[Kewcumber]

Those of you who "know" me might remember that almost every year at some point over his birthday I start a maudlin thread about his birth mother and what she's missing out and what he missing out and how I can't fix it etc.

Well not this year!

Probably I'm just a bit too busy - had three birthday celebrations, his actual birthday on Thursday (very low key) then 11 6/7 yrs old at a bowling party on Saturday then today various members of my family up for lunch. Also I started back at work part-time a few weeks ago and even two days a week is feeling a bit of a stretch.

So all in all I perhaps just haven't had time to think too much about it in my normal annual mope-fest.

But to be honest I feel a bit about it! I feel a bit like I should be thinking about his BM and him and their lost relationship. It feels a bit odd that this year has felt totally about him for the first time and not about her.

I kinda miss the angst! (But I bet you lot don't!)

[charlieandlola]

Aww Kewcumber I remember you going to get ds and your annual worry over his Bm. I cant believe he is 7. I repeat what I said as you were waiting all those days for him. You are both lucky to
Have found each other. Only worry about what you can change.

[BIWIshYouAMerryChristmas]

But surely it's inevitable, Kew? After all, and all these years, he 'belongs' to you and your family now? The link to his BM must lessen each year? I know that the reality doesn't lessen, but his relationship with you and your family gets stronger every year.

And a big hug to you and him, and happy birthday to MasterKew

[Devora]

You have always demonstrated enormous compassion and sensitivity towards his BM. it will always be there, especially when ds is wanting to talk about her etc. Forgive yourself for just getting on with being the busy mum of such a great kid.

Happy birthday, kewson

[Lilka]

Happy Birthday to him :)

I agree entirely with Devora. You don't have anything to feel guilty for

[Moomoomie]

Lovely post. Devora. Totally agree. Can't add anymore to that.

[MaryChristmaZEverybody]

Oh My God

He's seven? Really.

Where's my life gone.

[junowiththegladrags]

Happy birthday to Master Kew. Be good to yourself and forgive the angst about lack of angst.

[loflo]

Totally get where you are coming from. I have always felt a bit detached from DSs birthday and spend the day wondering of anyone from his birth family is thinking of him and how they must be feeling. This year like you tho didn't feel the same - just had a lovely day with family and friends

[BeaLola]

Happy birthday Master Kew.

I only lurke/contribute infrequently since findingMumsnet when I became a Mum earlier this year to a nnow 5 year old DS.

I don;t know your history but have read some of your posts to others & he is one lucky little chap to have you. Don't feel guilty just continue to feel like the obviously proud Mummy you are. I agree with all the above comments. I bet he is really glad that he has you too.