Newbies

(905 Posts)

Hi I am a newbie and only just started this journey, officially made the call last week.

Just interested how may other newbies are out there who are still in the early stages. I keep coming across people and recognising names. Anyone want to let on what stage they are at?

Pickles2go Tue 22-Apr-14 11:35:47

Hello keep, love and smoky. We are in stage 2 and hopefully going to panel in June.

We told referees when we were in stage 1 and most close family when we'd been accepted onto stage 2 and had also done the final day of training (which was only a couple of days later than our official acceptance). It was luck rather than judgement but in retrospect we actually found it really helpful to have completed the prep course because as much reading as we had done we were in a much much better place to answer any initial questions our loved ones had. We have also both told our line managers as work references are nec in stage 2.

As for telling anyone else I don't know how we will actually feel after panel, but at the moment I'm not planning on really telling anyone else (hoping that we get approved) until we are matched. But then both myself and DH are quite private anyway and also don't want to jinx anything!

Good luck - it's an exciting journey to be setting out on.

MrsM2509 Tue 22-Apr-14 07:46:13

We told our parents and closest friends just before we made our initial enquiry. We then told a few others as we started the assessment process.now, if were ever asked if we think we will have kids soon etc, we then tell people we are being assessed for adoption. So some people know, but not loads. As for Facebook I deleted mines when we started the assessment so can't comment on that, Lack of privacy on there is just too annoying, it's so easy for people to screenshot photos nowadays.

Good luck in your adoption journey, we are enjoying it so far and have panel in July so not long off

SmokyHeart Mon 21-Apr-14 23:23:41

Thanks Lilka I will watch the ITV one too.

It's nice to meet everyone!

MyFeetAreCold Mon 21-Apr-14 22:58:10

Hello Keep, lovejoy (may I call you lovejoy?) and smoky

I told family and referees when we made the initial calls, close friends as soon as it looked like it was going to happen, a few other friends and my line manager after panel, other colleagues when intros were imminent and everyone else the day we met the DC.

(We kept it fairly close to our chests mostly because after years of mcs and ivf we were really bored of our private business being everyone's business...)

CloserThanYesterday Mon 21-Apr-14 22:09:25

Hello new newbies! Looking forward to hearing your stories.

Me and DH are halfway through stage 2 at the moment
- we'd been talking about our infertility and the possible options with close friends and family anyway, and adoption gradually became the way forward so there was never a 'big reveal' for us.

We told work colleagues and other friends once we'd been accepted onto stage 2 - up to then we hadn't really dared hope it might really happen!

Lilka Mon 21-Apr-14 21:42:58

And I'm going to post again so I can be childishly pleased about being post number 900

This must be the longest thread ever on this board. Quite an achievement Italian grin

Lilka Mon 21-Apr-14 21:41:55

Glad it's been useful for people! There's a new series starting on ITV this Thursday which you might want to watch?

SmokyHeart Mon 21-Apr-14 21:37:35

Thanks Lilka. I have been watching my way through the list of tv programmes you made on another thread, so thank you for that!

Lilka Mon 21-Apr-14 21:34:49

Hi and welcome Smoky smile

SmokyHeart Mon 21-Apr-14 21:30:14

Hello I have been lurking on this forum for a while so I thought I would join in and say hi. DH and I are part-way through the process and we are considering adopting an older child.

We have only told close family and very close friends so far because we didn't want to get too many questions while it's still something uncertain. We'll tell other people when we are matched.

RhinosAreFatUnicorns Mon 21-Apr-14 19:24:05

We told close family as soon as we first registered interest. Friends as we proceeded and work colleagues within my team as soon as we had our first meeting. I work in a really close knit small team. All good.

However, as I work in a smallish company, and have a fairly central role, a few more people found out, and I found the time after matching really tough with them asking when we would be "getting our child". I found that time the worst as it was, getting impatient with the wait, and that added to the stress. Most people were quite chilled, but I remember one well intentioned colleague asking me on what felt like a daily basis.

64x32x24 Mon 21-Apr-14 15:56:12

We told close family and very close friends (i.e. referees) when we had decided to apply, but hadn't decided which agency yet. Mum is quite a gossip likes to share, so her friends and wider family learned about our plans pretty soon too.. We told more friends when we were accepted into stage 1 and had to go to prep course, and needed to arrange childcare.

We will be telling more people once we are approved.

It is hard sometimes, when we are with families with two children, and I just want to learn everything I can about managing two, but they don't know about our plans yet so aren't really forthcoming.

But from the people we did tell, we haven't had any nosy questions or anything. Occasionally an 'so what's happening now, where are you at?' which is fine IMO.

Choccyjules Mon 21-Apr-14 15:39:13

We told close family and our line managers just before starting Stage One. I have now told a few close colleagues but won't tell the rest of my work til we are matched and have planned introductions.

LocoParentis Mon 21-Apr-14 11:42:16

We're about six weeks away from panel. I told our immediate family as soon as we started the process. I told our close friends about half way through the home study and I don't intend on telling the wider circle of people, work colleagues etc until after panel.
As exciting as it is and how much you want to tell everyone, my advice would be to wait. Excited and supportive friends and family ask a lot and if it takes longer than you'd hoped it's just an extra layer of pressure you could do without.
Good luck to both of you

imkeepingeverythingcrossed Mon 21-Apr-14 10:32:47

I'll let you know lovehopejoy. grin We've only told inlaws and closest friends so far? We didn't want to jinx anything. We have a really close circle of friends two of whom are out referees so it felt weird telling them and not the rest. Otherwise we may have just kept it quite until much later. How do you feel about telling the "wider circle"? X

lovehopejoy Mon 21-Apr-14 07:07:50

Thanks everyone...I'm loving all the support and encouragement already! Thanks everyone!
64 I can't imagine counting down to panel in weeks! How exciting!!! keeping - you'll have to let me know how the prep course goes! [Smile]

Quick question....when did you all tell people about the adoption plans?
We've told our parents (at least DH's side is happy for us wink), immediate close friends, but not sure when to tell wider family, wider friends, the wonderful world of facebook etc?

imkeepingeverythingcrossed Sun 20-Apr-14 22:28:05

Hi lovehopejoy. Tell me about so exciting and nerve racking all at the same time. We've been booked for our prep course in May eek grin good luck in your journey also. Look forward to hearing how you get on x

64x32x24 Sun 20-Apr-14 21:28:11

hello lovehopejoy and keeping! Exciting journey ahead smile

countdown to panel in weeks now rather than in months, for us... starting to become quite nervous!

prumarth Sun 20-Apr-14 17:12:35

Congratulations choccy, great news!!
Welcome love and keeping, it's an exciting time, I look forward to hearing about your journeys!

Lilka Sun 20-Apr-14 16:20:03

Hi and welcome as well love smile

lovehopejoy welcome thanks

lovehopejoy Sun 20-Apr-14 14:23:12

Hello! Just like I'm keeping everything crossed we are just at the start of stage 1, but have been lurking for a while!. We've arrived home today to all the paperwork and we've got our SW visiting on Wednesday to take away the completed RoI forms, DBS forms etc. Weve been. Booked on to the prep course beginning of June. Excited and nervous all at the same time! Looking forward to getting to know all the 'new' newbies and the 'older' newbies! ��

Welcome Keeping all best wishes.

Lilka Sun 20-Apr-14 13:35:42

Hi and welcome keeping smile

imkeepingeverythingcrossed Sun 20-Apr-14 12:28:14

Hi everyone. I'm a newbie �� we're about 3 weeks into stage 1 had medicals and DBS checks been filling in our workbook (well rough copy anyway) I've been lurking around for a few weeks on here and finally decided to take the leap and say hi. It's really nice and VERY helpful to read everyone's posts. Just trying to get to grips with all the abbreviations wink anyway I'm rambling now so Hope your all having a lovely Easter.

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