Newbies

(1000 Posts)

Hi I am a newbie and only just started this journey, officially made the call last week.

Just interested how may other newbies are out there who are still in the early stages. I keep coming across people and recognising names. Anyone want to let on what stage they are at?

Mum2G Thu 21-Feb-13 09:48:17

Welcome Broody, My DS is 6 in a few months too, hope your prep course goes well

Hi

how is everyone.

Loco thinking of you and hoping all is well,

Verity, Firenze2, Mum2G, Broody, dom, LSP, Calmly, CheshireDing, MrsBW, Karbea, mrsballack, Tigglette and all.

Sorry it's been so long.

We are seeing our social worker again. I must clean the house and buy buisciuts!

chenbebe Wed 27-Mar-13 12:14:43

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

LocoParentis Fri 29-Mar-13 02:49:57

Hi everyone,

Thanks Italian i really appreciate it!

everything is fine in the Loco house we're just seeing our years wait out. We've been saving like mad and starting to do the more practical things now DH is feeling better. We're trying to be positive and think that it just means we've got a long time to decorate and garden before we become parents.

How is the home study going so far Italian? I really enjoyed ours in a strange kind of way, although it's really intense I know it helped DH and I to see the strength in our relationship, which was just as well really as it was right at the time that we needed it.

I've been keeping my fingers crossed for you all as you continue to move forward, does anyone have any news or updates?

Hi Loco hope the time will go really well and glad DH is feeling better.

Can I aks if you two had to get experience of kids and what you did, please?

Hi everyone - can i ask ifyou had to get expereince of kids and you did it?? MrsBW, mrsballack, Verity, Firenze2, Mum2G, Broody, dom, LSP, Calmly, CheshireDing, Karbea, Tigglette or anyone else?

LocoParentis Sat 30-Mar-13 02:57:53

They have asked us to get more childcare experience but luckily for us we have lots of friends with appropriately aged children who are being very supportive and letting us practice.
W e're actually babysitting for a week starting sunday, can't wait grin

Hope it goes well Loco.

Mum2G Tue 02-Apr-13 10:33:58

Hi all, Hope you are well

Hope the home study is going well Italian, and wish it was better weather for gardening for you Loco

We have the last day of our prep course this week, it has been quite a few weeks learning about all the issues and what strategies can help, it has been scary and we have moved on (a bit) from thinking 'can we do this?' to thinking 'Are we sure we really want to do this?' - it seems like the controlling behaviour (which seems to be quite common?) might be one of the hardest things, but then however hard work it is I have not met an adopter who hasn't said it has been really rewarding.

We are also wondering about the bond that we can expect to have with our adoptive child knowing that we can never replace their birth parents.

Our in laws are understandably concerned about the effects on our birth child, I am looking into strategies to help our birth child feel happy and involved - i found one useful article on the adoption UK website, so any tips on that welcome. Sorry if that all sounds a bit heavy but that is where we are at the moment!

Some ways of getting childcare experience - depending on what time you have: volunteering to do reading with children at school (would just need to get CRB checked - my son's school paid for this), volunteering at the local children's centre or volunteering at beavers, rainbows, church groups?

MrsBW Mon 08-Apr-13 18:10:27

Hello!

We have moved on quite quickly... Only finished prep 3 weeks ago but already had our first home study with the next 3 sessions booked in over the coming 6 weeks.

We really like our social worker so that's a great relief

Childcare experience... We're doing as much babysitting as we can, both of us are coaching at junior sports clubs and we're trying to volunteer at a contact centre although so far they're not replying to emails. hmm grin

MrsBW Mon 08-Apr-13 18:10:48

How's everyone else doing?

mrsballack Tue 09-Apr-13 09:05:22

Hiya. Hope everyone's doing ok.

We have our prep course dates, 15th-17th may. Couldn't have been a worse week really as we are away for my birthday the weekend before and I have a beaver camp 18/19th. Oh well, I'll just have to take a whole week off work, what a shame.

Mum2G can you link to teh article you read or send me th elink in a PM please. I hope all goes well and your fears are not too great. I fear stuff too. Our dd is quite old, 8, will be 9 before child is placed I guess so am hoping a big age gap will help. Thanks for the childcare experience.

Loco all the best.

MrsBW thanks for the childcare experience.

MrsBallack hope it all goes well.

Mum2G Wed 10-Apr-13 13:51:24

Here's one link Italian can't find the adoption uk one at the mo

www.bemyparent.org.uk/info-for-families/your-questions/can-i-adopt-or-foster-if-i-already-have-birth-children,139,AR.html

We have just been allocated a social worker, so will have our first home visit soon, haven't met her yet, so fingers crossed she is nice!

Thanks Mum2G.

Hi, how is everyone doing?

I am feeling strangely stressed at the moment. Half way through home study I think and just feeling tense as I wait for it all to work out. I am sure it will.

andie123 Sun 05-May-13 12:03:49

Hi everyone
I was advised to post here as my partner and I are just starting the adoption process. We had our first visit from a social worker this week and we are currently waiting to hear back about the preparation group. Although we've done a lot of research online and bombarded the social worker with a million questions, we're still feeling a bit clueless and would love to hear from people who are further along on this journey than we are. I guess one of the things I'm worried about is that we are quite young compared to most adopters, and maybe we won't be taken seriously by the agency or then panel? I would also like to know if anyone has any books they can recommend? I'm already reading what to expect when you're adopting and I am finding it quite informative.

firenze2 Sun 05-May-13 14:37:26

Hi Italian, it will work out, I'm sure, but I know what you mean about it being stressful. The home visits are intense and also all the info on the prep course can be a bit heavy-going sometimes.

Hi Andie123! Welcome! We are also just starting out, we've had a few home study visits and are just past the halfway point of the prep course. I guess we are also on the young side, esp my dh who is younger than me. I liked What to Expect When You're Adopting. Try also Adoption Diary (BAAF), which we really enjoyed and gives the info in bite-sized pieces! :-)

Mrsgiggles82 Mon 06-May-13 23:43:07

Hi, I'm new. We have had our info session and first SW visit was last week. We are just waiting for her report on it then she said she discusses with the team whether to accept us but that she sees no problems.

Going we are on prep course in June but not sure if its already full yet.

It's so nice to talk to others in the same boat. I feel emotionally a bit up and down as everything takes so long (4months to even get first appointment) but excited to.

Good luck every one x

Mrsgiggles82 welcome and good luck. lots of support on here from more experienced adopters. It's very helpful on here.

Hi Andie welcome. Can I ask how young you are! Maybe just be make me very jealous!!

Hi firenze2 I just feel a bit stressed by life at the moment. I am sure it will all come together soon enough.

andie123 Tue 07-May-13 09:18:30

Hi Firenze2 thanks for the book recommendation, I'm reading everything I can get my hands on at the moment! How have you found the prep course and the home study sessions so far? Good luck with everything!

Italiangreyhound I am 28 (not that young right?) and my partner is 23 which I know is probably really young to be adopting. However I think it's just the right time for us. I've wanted children for a few years now but it's only the last year DP (is that the right abbreviation!?) has felt ready. Also I have 12 months left in my phd and will be taking some time off after so I'll be able to stay home with our little one.

Andie all the best with the applicaton, have you have your initial conversation yet?

Feeling better now, as feeling awfully stressed before!

firenze2 Wed 08-May-13 11:01:49

I'm glad you're feeling better, Italian. I know I sometimes need some quiet/down time to feel sorted again. Sort of a reboot of the systems. smile

Thanks, andie! The reading bonanza sounds familiar - I practically have a library building up over here. I guess I just like feeling like I have all the info. Or something. At the moment, I'm working through 'How to Talk to Kids So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk'.

The prep course has been very good. We have a friendly group and the sessions are a mix of informal presentations by the sws from our agency, experienced adopters and group activities. The last I thought would be weird, but actually, it is helpful to share with people, esp when those people are going through the same things! Dh and I have also found it sort of liberating to be able to discuss our situation openly (I mean, not full disclosure, but still pretty open) with other people who, again, have had similar experiences. In my own circle of friends, no one else is going down the adoption route, and no one has really had the fertility issues we've had. And although my close friends know our situation, we have only recently started widening the net. Hard to work it in before when everyone else seemed to be getting pregnant. But now that we are firmly on the adoption path, we feel like we have something positive we'd like to share.

So far so good with the home study visits. I have my second individual appointment this afternoon, actually! This time at home (last time it was at the sw's office). We're on a pretty good schedule - there's either an individual or a joint appointment once a week, plus prep group once a week. Plus all the background admin ... piece of cake, lol. Am working on my MA dissertation at the moment, so I was interested to see you're working on a PhD! I hope to go on to the PhD after some time off spent with our dc ('our dc' - I love the sound of that!).

firenze2 Wed 08-May-13 11:04:23

And Mrsgiggles82 - good luck to you! Hope you get confirmation about your application and about the June prep course soon! smile

andie123 Wed 08-May-13 15:32:31

Firenze2 sounds like it's pretty full on for you at the moment! I can't wait to get started with everything properly but I know you have to be patient, which is something I'm going to have get used to. What is your masters thesis on? I think the most important thing when doing a phd is finding a good supervisor, it makes a big difference if they're approachable and available. And of course that the topic is something that you are really passionate about. My Phd is on the canine oral microbiome, which for the most part is quite interesting but not exactly the most riveting topic in the world! Do you know what age child you want to adopt yet?

This thread is not accepting new messages.