Born before 1975, how do you know if you were adopted or not?

[SophieNeveau]

I recently discovered that if you were born before 1975, that you could have been adopted and issued with a birth certificate to show your adopted name.

I can see from googling that if you need to do various things to locate birth certificates with pre adoption name etc.

I am curious to know if you would know if you were adopted, if your parents didn't tell you.

I have my short birth certificate, not my long one.

When I was about ten, I found a picture of a baby, I asked who it was and was told it was a baby my parents adopted before me. I was told the baby was given back after a number of months as it's mother changed her mind. I was told it was arranged by a catholic priest.

I have a genetic medical condition, my children have it also. I have asked my Mother to get checked and she refuses. I don't really have anyone in the famiky with the same condition, though she says she had milder symptoms.

I may be barking up the wrong tree here, I just want to put my mind at rest one way or the other.

My Mother is not beyond lying, for example my whole childhood, she told me she was five years younger than she was, I found her passport aged 13, she told me she was 38, she was really 43.

My parents married at 21, and I came along when they were turning 30.

Would I know if I had been adopted?

[MrsMcEnroe]

Hi OP,

It was probably me on that thread the other day who enlightened you about the birth certificates! (I was adopted pre-1975 and have 2 birth certificates, in different names).

It's over 20 years since I did this, but I think you need to phone your local Social Services office to ask their advice - there will be a department that deals with adoptees who are searching for their birth parents, and I had to get their "permission" when I was 18 and wanted to get a copy of my original birth certificate.

Please be aware that if you are adopted there is no guarantee that your birth parents will still be alive, or will want to meet you. It is a big can of worms that you'll be opening. Have you contacted Somerset House to request a copy of your full (i.e. long) birth certificate? (I think you can do this online). If a long version isn't available, this might indicate that you were adopted ....

I'm very happy to share my experiences with you and you're welcome to PM if you like. You do need to think very, very carefully about what you will do with the information if you discover that you are adopted (or that you aren't - as you say that you already doubt your mum's trustworthiness and I wonder if you are subconsciously hoping that you aren't related by blood ....???)

Finally - blood isn't always thicker than water. I know this is easy for me to say, but my parents are the people who brought me up, loved me unconditionally and were wonderful grandparents for an all-too-brief time before they both died far too early when they were in their sixties. My parents are not the people who accidentally created a baby when they were teenagers and who were unable to look after that baby. Having met my birth mother, and having known her now for more than half my life, I can honestly say that meeting her was a wonderful experience initially (e.g. to see a physical resemblance was fantastic, and to know that she was OK and that she'd put the first few traumatic post-adoption years behind her) but I don't actually like her very much and I feel very, very uneasy about opening up to her. It feels very disloyal to the parents who actually parented me.

Of course this is all subjective and you may feel completely differently! I can understand how not knowing must be driving you crazy. Do PM me if you think I can help, even if you just need a sounding-board.

HTH xx

[MrsMcEnroe]

P.S. To answer your question - no, you wouldn't know that you'd been adopted for sure unless you had your original birth certificate, or if you were certain that nobody else in your family suffered from the same genetic condition as you. The fact that your mum isn't prepared to get tested, combined with the supposed adopted baby who was given back, are big red flags, but neither of these conclusively proves that you were adopted. You need the original birth certificate.

Or a DNA test I suppose ....

[gothicmama]

Contacyt norcap for advice

[SophieNeveau]

I will ask for my long birth certificate and see what turns up on that. Thanks.

I aksed my Mother when we discussed the picture of the little girl, if I was adopted, she said no at the time. As I said the older I get, the more of her lies I have come across. She used to go on and on a lot about how I don't look like her throughout my childhood too, and how no one would say I looked like her, she didn't like me either, she and others were very obvious in their preference of my younger sibling, so it would be no loss if I am adopted or not. Even when I had children, she was going on and on about how lovley it must be to have my children look like me, as I never looked like her.

I found my baptisim certificate, it says I was baptised just before 3 months old to my parents, if that information is any good.

[SophieNeveau]

I have ordered a full b cert on line, I will see what that says when it arrives.

[MrsMcEnroe]

I agree that you should contact Norcap - I'd forgotten all about them. I'm not sure if you would have a full birth certificate in your new name if you were adopted? - I don't have one but I'm not sure if this is always the case ...

[KristinaM]

In the uk is no such thing as a birth certificate with your adoptive parenst names on it. If you are adopted you have a short birth certificate with just your name on it . The longer document is called an extract from the adopted childrens register. It looks a bit like a full birth certificate with your adoptive parenst names, address etc.

You dont have to contcat social services or anyone to find out if yu are adopted. You simply have to order ( buy online) a copy of your full birth certficate. If you have one of these you are not adopted ( legally).of course its perfectly possible that your bio parenst are not who you belive thme to be, but thats another matter

Im sorry youu are facing this uncertainty abut your past

[KristinaM]

Sodry, ive realised i wasnt very clear. If you have found online and purchased a full birth certificate for yoursslf for your birth date in your name which you use now then you are not adopted.

[SophieNeveau]

So if I was not able to order the full birth certificate, it would mean you are adopted, as I was able to order it, it means I was not adopted?

[SophieNeveau]

The online receipt shows a gro reference number and says E/W birth as certificate type.

[KristinaM]

I would think so. If you were adopted you would need to order an extract from the adopted children register. I assume e/w birth means England and Wales Birth?

It shoudl arrive quite soon and perhaps that will put your mind at ease a bit? Im sorry you are going through all this worry and uncertainty