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Bastard pensioner ignoring arses

(59 Posts)
Vacillating Tue 05-Aug-14 22:22:05

My mother, 70+ and doddery with a few health problems tripped in town and went down heavily. She has hurt herself.

She finds getting up from lying down only just possible when in bed and with a help from pillows and well placed furniture so how she got herself up from the floor after landing heavily I don't know. But I know she did because no bastard helped her up or more appropriately kept her still and called an ambulancesad people walked past her, practically over her and no one did a thing. I am so mad, so sad hearing how she feels more vulnerable now ( it isn't even the first time it has happened).

Yeah I know about the bystander effect but honest to fucking god my ancient wobbly mother in her best coat and sensible shoes scrabbling on the floor trying not to cry.


Aww poor woman. sad I hope she's alright.

cakesonatrain Tue 05-Aug-14 22:46:27

Bastards the lot of em. How would they feel if it was their mum?

Hope she's ok.

Fluffyears Tue 05-Aug-14 22:55:15

Aw is she ok? I am always amazed that I see a pensioner fall I'll dash over and help them and everyone just walks on....what is wrong with people?? I have even called an ambulance and a lady's daughter after she fell up some steps and not one other bugger stopped. She was a lovely old thing.

Vacillating Tue 05-Aug-14 22:56:29

I know what is up with them?!?!? But thanks she will be ok though she is bashed up and needs some X-rays which will happen tomorrow.

If only one person had helped and she would feel so much better. I just find it baffling and fucking horrid.

PinkSquash Tue 05-Aug-14 22:56:37

Fucking arseholes. I cannot understand how anyone could walk on by.

I hope she is okay

crazyspaniel Tue 05-Aug-14 22:59:54

Your poor mum, where on earth does she live that people are so horrible? I really want to believe that this is an exception, not the norm. My mum had a fall in central London of all places earlier this year and passers-by could not have been nicer or more helpful (just as well, as she gashed her head on the kerb so there was lots of blood everywhere and I was pretty useless and nearly passed out). Perhaps I live in a naïve parallel universe, but I would have thought that most people would stop and help - I definitely would and so would any one of my friends, family and colleagues.

itsalottery Tue 05-Aug-14 23:00:03

So sorry to hear that, my mum too had a fall last week & people did come to help her, thankfully. It has happened before and no-one did so it is just pure bloody luck as to whether there are decent people around at the time or not. I wish her luck for the xrays tmw.

QueenBean Tue 05-Aug-14 23:00:08

Ahhh, that last sentence put tears in my eyes. I'm so sorry, people can be so unkind. What town was this? Is she recovering well?

Vacillating Tue 05-Aug-14 23:00:41

And there were a lot of them, it was quite busy and she was down at least 10minssad

Fluffyears Tue 05-Aug-14 23:04:19

Hope she's just bruised and the x-rays are ok. I seriously couldn't believe it a few years ago in Edinburgh when a little old lady slipped on the ice. No one stopped and I ran over and picked her up (she weighed nothing and was like a little bird). I put her on feet and asked if she was ok and everyone else just walked past, luckily she was ok. It makes me sad that people look the other way if someone falls sad

crazyspaniel Tue 05-Aug-14 23:05:00

Unbelievable. flowers for your poor mum.

Vacillating Tue 05-Aug-14 23:07:55

It was chester bastard chester!

You see you would have stopped, I would have stopped I really hope most would stop but no one did. She is little, 70 odd, smart in a pensioner at m and s way and has mobility issues yet no one helped.

It is luck I know yet it shouldn't be. Not just for my poor mum but the other oldies and youngsters and the ill and vulnerable. Where I live you would be batting off the helpers.

WhatTheFork Tue 05-Aug-14 23:08:02

I would have helped.

An older man fell outside my house in the early hours of the morning. I was sleeping in my bed and heard him shouting for help, weakly. It was during the week between Christmas and new year, so very cold. I went to him with DH, bringing blankets and a cushion. DH phoned an ambulance. The man told us he'd had people walk by him and get into their cars, by now it was 7am ish. I asked him what he was doing out at this time (being off work and it still being very dark I thought it was earlier). He said he was just coming off shift as a night porter in a local hotel. I confess I thought he was a drunk coming home from the pub at first.

The poor soul had dislocated his hip and had to get gas and air in order to be lifted on to the stretcher.

The people that had walked past him were my neighbours, that disgusted me.

He came to see us to thank us (bringing chocolates, the soul) a few months later. We invited him in for a cuppa. He'd ended up having several operations and having to retire through ill health.

People should always stop. Even if the person turns out to be a drunk or druggie, they still need your help.

DrankSangriaInThePark Tue 05-Aug-14 23:08:16

flowers for your Mum. (and you) Hope she is OK, and not too shaken.

Vacillating Tue 05-Aug-14 23:11:02

Fluffyears that lady will have been so reassured by your caresmile to be fair no one would call my mum a little bird!

OorWullie Tue 05-Aug-14 23:11:25

I am genuinely shocked that people would just walk on by and leave someone so completely helpless.

I hope your mum recovers well and regains her confidence. My gran is nearing 80 and very independent for her age, but I'd hate to think of her having that taken away by selfish people not helping if she needed it.

NatJon Tue 05-Aug-14 23:11:40

Your poor mum sad it amazes me how cruel humans can be. My mother was very sick and has a whole host of physical and mental problems. When I was twelve she took me into town. At the bus stop on the way back she sat down and fell unconscious. I was terrified and crying my eyes out, trying to shake her awake and not one person stopped to help a distressed child trying to rouse an unconscious adult.

In the end I had to actually leave her and run to the nearest pay phone to ring my dad, who phoned an ambulance.

I hope your mum is ok thanks

Vacillating Tue 05-Aug-14 23:12:06

Maybe they were worried for their backs. Nah just socially inept bastards

FiloFunky Tue 05-Aug-14 23:12:35

That is terrible. I once witness an older gentleman attempt to catch his wife who collapsed. I rushed over to help him get her on the floor safely. Then took off my coat to put under her legs and my jumper for under her head whilst we waited 45 minutes for the ambulance to arrive. I never did find out what happened to her

So many others walked by hmm it was a couple of winters ago now and I didnt feel cold until I popped into a cafe for a drink! But the cafe did give me the cuppa for free! Apparently it was -3 that day.

I hope she is OK op xx

SecretWitch Tue 05-Aug-14 23:13:43

I am so sorry for your mum. I hope she is feeling better flowers My teenage dd and I saw an older woman fall down some steps recently. My daughter ran to assist her straight away ( she is much younger and faster than her old mum) We sat with her and made sure she was alright. I wanted to ring someone for her but she just wanted to be on her way. I hope someone would do the same for me under the circumstances.

fackinell Tue 05-Aug-14 23:35:54

That's just so awful, your poor mum. sad

People stood and laughed at my Aunt having a seizure in the street, luckily a family member saw her and shoo'ed them all away. She never went out alone again after that.

There is absolutely no reason not to help. I found a homeless man in the street in broad daylight in Kings Cross. It was fairly obvious he was dead but I stood by him as people actually stepped over him and I called the local station. All of a sudden, people who had walked by turned back to ask if he was ok. I was angry and told them to carry on with their business.

Even a pretty obviously drunk man late at night lying in the town hall steps I stopped for. From a safe distance I asked if he was diabetic or epileptic and he said, 'no, just pissed, hen. But thanks for checking.' There is never an excuse to not help!!

Vacillating Wed 06-Aug-14 13:52:47

Fackinhell your poor aunty and natjon what a horrible experience for you bothsad It makes me so cross.

My mum has a few fractures and is a bit upset and shaken but she is ok physically in comparison to what could have happened.

Am sorry there are so many solar experiences here but thanks for the well wishing.

fackinell Wed 06-Aug-14 15:54:23

How awful she has fractures and is shaken up. I can't believe people would walk by like that. Wishing her a speedy recovery. thanks

Ihavemyownname Wed 06-Aug-14 16:08:47

flowers to your mum
I stopped to try and help a man after school when I was 13 he had fallen in his front garden and couldn't get up I did try to help him but couldn't so had to call an Ambulance the amount of others that walked past plus adults was angry

Another time was for a man that was diabetic and was outside a shop angry

LetsFaceTheMusicAndDance Wed 06-Aug-14 16:10:39

That is fucking mind boggling tbh. I really hope your mum's ok.

LL12 Wed 06-Aug-14 16:13:53

What is it with people not wanting to get involved with helping someone?
What terrible thing do they think will happen if they helped someone?

Vacillating I hope your mum recovers well.

My mum is 70, and about 4-5 years ago, she fell heavily on the pavement and broke one arm and fractured the other. I called an ambulance and even with the paramedics help it was hard to get her up because of her arms (she's as light as a sparrow).

We were outside a MacDonalds. No-one bothered to come out and see if she was okay, even when it was clear I couldn't get her up on my own.

Ditto the passers-by, they passed by alright.

And yet, mum and I were in town when a chap of a similar age to mum fell in front of us. We went to help, but I think he was embarrassed at falling, got up quickly and brushed us off with an "I'm alright".

I'd help anyone. So would the rest of my family. I'm hoping the experience of Vacillating's mum is just a blip and we are not in the minority. It is really depressing that no-one stopped to help.

dontwanttobefatandforty Wed 06-Aug-14 16:30:43

I'm shocked and ashamed as I am close to chester, was it in the centre or out of town? I hope she recovers quickly

Coffeethrowtrampbitch Wed 06-Aug-14 16:36:39

I hope your mum will be OK, sorry to hear she has fractures. I hope they heal well and she recovers from this, it is appalling that she's been left feeling vulnerable because people lack common decency.

My great aunt fell in the road and hit her head last year. A worker at a nearby care home saw her out the window, lying motionless in the road while cars drove round her angry. How the hell you merrily carry on with your day when you have driven round a 92 year old lying in the road in a pool of blood I will never know.

Sadly, its not uncommon, if you read up on the Bystander Effect you are very unlikely to be helped by passers by as there is a diffusion of responsibility. Everyone expects that someone else will help, so no one does.

Alisvolatpropiis Wed 06-Aug-14 17:12:38

I know I would have stopped and helped. That could be my Nanna and I would want someone to help her!

Really sorry that nobody did help your mum and can understand why she feels more vulnerable now than she didn't before.

Makes me sad that so many people simply don't care about anything outside the tiny bubble of their own day to day existence.

LL12 Wed 06-Aug-14 17:44:14

This has also reminded me of the time my 9 year old daughter told me how her class and teacher had decided back in Sep that if you felt lonely at break time, then to go and sit on a certain bench and then children from your class would see you and check that you were ok and ask if you wanted to play.
Well after a year of this, my daughter and another girl said that if they were ever sitting lonely on the bench the other children from the class would see them and just walk on past.
So sad that it seems to start at such an early age.

MrsBoldon Wed 06-Aug-14 18:09:30

My friend was knocked off his bike last year. The driver of the car that hit him didn't stop.

This was the middle of the day on a busy high street. CCTV showed he was lying on the side of the road, unconscious and bleeding heavily from a head injury for TWENTY minutes before someone stopped and phoned an ambulance. CCTV showed people looking at him lying there but just walking by.

WhatTheFork Wed 06-Aug-14 20:55:08

I'm now remembering my wee brother slipping on ice at age 17 on a main road. He's over 6'5" so had a long way to fall. He banged his head on the pavement and was so shocked he lay on the ground crying. People stepped over him.

He was eventually taken by ambulance to hospital where he spent two nights, with concussion.

He's now in his twenties, a medical student who pays his way by auxiliary nursing and being a buddy to a lad his age with additional needs. When he qualifies he wants to work in third world countries and/or war zones. He is the most caring and selfless person I've ever come across it's not a family trait by any means ... It makes me want to spit that no one arsed themselves to help him.

ShyGirlie Wed 06-Aug-14 23:04:09

thanks for your lovely mum.

I hooe she makes a full recovery soon.

IwishIwasmoreorganised Wed 06-Aug-14 23:13:32

I hope your mum is being well looked after in hospital.

I'm angry that this sort of behaviour seems so common in our society.

I have stopped my car twice to help people. Once a motorcyclist who had come off his bike (turned out he had a spinal injury and was helicoptered to hospital) and once an elderly lady who tripped in the street.

Ask your mums ward about physio for strength and balance retraining and community support to help her get her confidence back to mobilise outdoors.

Ebayaholic Wed 06-Aug-14 23:27:00

Your last sentence in your op made me well up too. However look at how many people have taken the time on here to wish you and your mum well- have we redressed the balance at all? Please pass all of our good wishes onto your mum and let her know we are thinking of her.

ColdTeaAgain Wed 06-Aug-14 23:48:28

Hope she makes a speedy recovery OP.

I just cannot understand how this can happen in a busy shopping centre sad that is a lot of people walking by and doing nothing.

DogCalledRudis Thu 07-Aug-14 00:04:20

Poor lady.
On the other hand -- i have an elderly neighbour. She is very frail. But when anybody tries to help her (e.g. get on a bus) she starts shouting abuse. She finds it insulting that anybody sees her as "frail".

Darkesteyes Thu 07-Aug-14 00:20:37

My best wishes to your mum OP thanks

When I was in my late teens I saw a bloke lying half on half off a bench early one morning. I went over and asked if he was alright Turned out he was just pissed .

But there were 3 fuckers across the road pointing and laughing at me for going over and asking if he was ok.


fackinell Thu 07-Aug-14 01:14:13

What do you think it is that makes people keep on walking by? Reading this has got me to wondering. I met two guys in London who found a (high profile) murder victim (I'd rather not say who in case any of the woman's family read this.) They went to help but were terrified of being blamed and called the police to say they'd tried to help her up, thinking she was drunk and their prints were on her arms. They stayed with her till the police arrived. They were clearly still distressed about it (one actually burst into tears.) They were terrified they'd done more damage. Maybe this is part of the reason people don't help.

AliceDoesntLiveHereAnymore Thu 07-Aug-14 08:45:27

It's just appalling. Even having 2 dcs with me, one who is impatient and a runner and the other that's turning "being 5yo" into a mini mid-life crisis, and I still would stop, ring for help, and stay with them until help arrived. And have done so, when we witnessed a pregnant woman collapsing one day and everyone in the immediate vicinity just stood there and looked at her. (she was fine, by the way)

I think it shows just how insulated people have become - so many just can't be bothered to help others.

Scabetty Thu 07-Aug-14 08:54:42

This is sad to read. My dad had several falls in his 70s and thankfully someone always brought him home or called an ambulance. DD 13 yo helped an elderly man recently who had fallen but was unhurt. She said another man came and helped get him to his feet also. I hope she continues to stop and not walk past. I hope your mum has a speedy recovery.

Notso Thu 07-Aug-14 08:59:42

I was walking back from the supermarket with my two youngest in the double buggy and a load of shopping underneath. It was icy and I slipped going down a hill. The buggy fell on top of me with the handle going across my neck.
My boys were screaming and I couldn't lift the buggy enough to get out from under it, because it was so slippy my feet were just sliding around.
I was on a main road right near a layby, cars were driving by with the drivers staring, a police car passed, loads of people were on the other side of the road walking and nobody stopped.
My boys were wriggling so much I thought the weigh on my neck was going to strangle me. Then my 2yo got out of his harness and climbed out the buggy and I was able to get out.

Opheliabumps Thu 07-Aug-14 09:01:39

I'm so sorry for your mum and wish I had been in town yesterday, as I would have helped her.

My mum fell outside Tescos recently, and people were lovely, helped her up, called an ambulance and even had her shopping put into the fridge at Tesco until she was home from hospital, so it didn't go off.

I was so touched by what people had done (I live 150 miles away) I used facebook to trace and thank a couple of the people who had helped,

ChickyEgg Thu 07-Aug-14 09:08:12

I hope your mum is ok Vacillating flowers

I think some people genuinely are self absorbed and don't care but I do wonder if in this day of suing all and sundry some people feel frightened to get involved? i don't know really. It just seems such a shame that if you see someone who needs help, that you can easily step over them....Awful.

Scabetty Thu 07-Aug-14 10:05:41

Jeez Notso, how awful and scary for you. Can't believe nobody stopped, not even the police car : ares wipes.

Scabetty Thu 07-Aug-14 10:06:04

Arse !!!

Vacillating Fri 08-Aug-14 10:46:34

Notso that is awfulsad

speaking to mum more it appears she fell in front of a couple getting out of their car, they got out, walked round her and carried on! It was at the park and ride so presumably they really needed to hit those shops. Grrrr

She feels pretty awful now and I will be happy to see her this weekend - am at other end of the country but heading back tomorrow. Dad is looking after her, in his inimitable style.

I do get that some people won't be sure how to respond but really my children would have done better. It feels a bit like when you start giving your children freedom and cross your fingers it goes ok. It shouldn't feel like that knowing older parents are out and about. We are a family of helpers who have stopped for all sorts of people - if only she had met similar she would feel so much better about it all.

She said straight away had she done it where I live she would have been helped, and she is almost certainly right- she would probably had a team. Where I live people stop when you break down, when you get stuck on ice, when your dog runs off, when your toddler falls but my area is no where near so naice as chester.

Notso Fri 08-Aug-14 10:59:26

Vacillating it was horrible. It has made me more determined than ever to help other people and teach my children to do the same.
I hope your Mum gets over this and karma catches up with the ignorers.

Vacillating Fri 08-Aug-14 11:04:25

Well our kids will be better people for the lessons!

Rokerwriter Fri 08-Aug-14 11:09:28

That's horrible to hear, Vacillating and quite shocking - I hope she feels better soon. I feel particularly blessed now that when DH had a cycling accident a few weeks ago and broke his pelvis, people stopped to help him at the side of the road. It was Sunday morning and very quiet, but the first car to see him stopped and then a family cycling by also stopped and between them they called an ambulance and the couple in the car made a special journey back home to put his bike in their garage until I could collect it. I would always stop to help someone who looked like they needed it, and I would like to think it would be a natural reaction - obviously not, though sad

YaMasYaDaWithAWigOn Fri 08-Aug-14 11:19:24

This makes me so angry and sad! A few years ago near my old house (it was on a very small street that was used as a shortcut to get to a large Asda), I was just on my way to the shops and there was an older gentleman lying on the floor on the opposite side of the street. His arm was very clearly broken from the position he was in and people were actually standing over him to get pastangry.

I crossed over and called an ambulance for him, he was very drunk but not abusive and I stayed with him until he was off in the ambulance. You could almost see the alcohol fumes coming off him as he was so drunk but still never an excuse to step over rather than help.

gymboywalton Fri 08-Aug-14 11:21:35

omg-where in the country is this?angry

my mum fell recently and people helped- a couple stopped their car and got her up and drove her home-helped her to the door etc

the idea of her just being ignored is awful-your poor mumsad

thegreylady Fri 08-Aug-14 11:25:14

It was truly horrible and I know no one who would not have helped.
I wish I had not originally read the thread as "Bastard pensioner, ignoring arses!" Some poor old fogey disregarding bottoms I thought grin

RiverTam Fri 08-Aug-14 11:30:15

good gracious, that's awful! Especially the couple who walked right past her shockshockshock??!!! Cunts.

Hope your mum is feeling better. My mum is in her 70s, would hate to think of something like this happening to her (mind you, if she did it where she lives, a load of people from church and a couple of elderly nuns would probably come to her aid grin).

bleedingheart Fri 08-Aug-14 11:30:31

I'm not as shocked as I would have been until I fainted whilst 8 months pregnant and not one person on the very busy high street stopped to help me.

I've always helped people and seen other people doing the same. It's so callous just to walk 'round someone and leave them there. I couldn't live with myself.

Notso I am astonished people didn't help you, how can someone leave you like that?

OP I hope your mum feels better soon.

This is awful.

I always stop and help anyone, regardless of where I'm no my way too or who they are (age/sex/condition) I can't stand by and see another life (be it human or animal) suffer.

I would have helped your Mum OP, I would have stayed with her until she was safe at the hospital or with relatives or friends and the I would have called to check a few days later to make sure she was on the mend.

I really hate people sometimes, the selfishness never fails to astound me. sadangry

BigcatLittlecat Fri 08-Aug-14 12:02:54

All who walked past were ignorant arses. I do think the majority of people think they would do the right thing.
When my mother fell recently 2 cars stopped and luckily the local GP walked past. Although he got her to get up which is a whole other story. grin

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