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well on a scale of 1 to utter shit, last night was a turd sandwich.

(1000 Posts)
MrsKoala Tue 22-Jul-14 09:02:29

Im 33wks pregnant. At 10pm went to do last check on ds before bed. Sat on the edge of his bed and felt suddenly all hot and wet between my legs. Looked down and blood everywhere. Ran to the loo and called dh to call an ambulance. (sorry tmi) Sat on the loo while blood pouted out and lost a clot the size of a satsuma. Ambulance car took 25 mins then he was only in a car so then had to order another ambulance to take me to hospital.

dh was trying to be organised but i could hear him sobbing in the hallway. Got to hospital at midnight. Ive had 2 really painful canulas put in (they had 6 different attempts to find a vein) and steroid injections to strengthen the baby's lungs. Just waiting for more scans and injections today.

baby is kicking and has a strong heartbeat but i am terrified. I have no idea what may happen if it has to come this early
i have no baby things.

my parents had to drive over to watch fs so dh could follow on
but dad had been drinking, so mum had to drive and she has never been on a motorway (m25) took them an hour and a half and i don't think my poor mum is ever going to get over it!

sorry,if its garbled - never posted on my phone before.

i would really appreciate some company and any advice on what i can expect. Dh has just left to sort work out. Please send positive thoughts. It'll be okay, wont it?

scarletforya Tue 22-Jul-14 09:05:58


You poor thing, thank God the baby is ok and thankfully you are in the best place. I haven't been through this but hugs to you all. brew

Fillybuster Tue 22-Jul-14 09:06:20

You poor love, that sounds beyond awful. Sending you lots of love. Try to relax and let everyone else sort out all the stuff that needs to be sorted at home: you should just focus on yourself and the baby for now ( I appreciate that's easier said than done). Don't worry about the baby stuff: if it does come early, I'm guessing the hospital would keep the baby in for a little while anyway, and I'm sure you'll be able to round up any emergency stuff you need before the baby comes home....anyway, newborns don't need much stuff. Keep calm, and stay positive xx

puds11isNAUGHTYnotNAICE Tue 22-Jul-14 09:07:37

Sending you hugs Mrs Baby sounds like a fighter smile

EveDallasRetd Tue 22-Jul-14 09:07:39

Hello love, so sorry this has happened. I had DD at 34 weeks and the only thing 'wrong' with her was that she was small. She was in SCBU for 4 weeks, but came home as soon as she could regulate her body temp.

You'll have another steroid injection for the baby's lungs. Can't remember if it was exactly 12 or exactly 24 hrs later. They hurt don't they? But on,y for a minute.

Legionofboom Tue 22-Jul-14 09:08:43

Oh you poor thing. thanks thanks thanks

A strong heartbeat and baby kicking sound good.

I have no advice on what you can expect to happen but I can hand hold and send you loads of positive vibes and hugs.

How old is your DS?

BambamsMummy Tue 22-Jul-14 09:09:58

Didn't want to read and run. No experience to share other than having a brother born at 33 weeks nearly 35 years ago. He is fine and a six foot hairy monster (in a good way).
Just keep listening to that little fighter your carrying and take they day as it comes. X

BrucieTheShark Tue 22-Jul-14 09:10:38

Ah bless you, thank heavens the baby is still fine.

What a hero your mum is, she sounds like mine re driving. Not sure mine would've done what yours did though.

What have they said re the bleed? Any contractions or period-type pains?

pointythings Tue 22-Jul-14 09:10:49

At 33 weeks you have a really, really good chance of a good outcome. You are in the best possible place for yourself and your baby.

I would imagine if it does come to early delivery that your baby will be in SCBU for a while, so you will have time to get the basics in - that should be the least of your worries. Stay strong and rest.

You are in my thoughts.

EveDallasRetd Tue 22-Jul-14 09:11:13

Oh and I had no baby stuff either, DD is PFB, DH was in Iraq and I'd been taken into hospital at 22weeks!

DH came home and I sent him to Toysrus for a pram and car seat. He chose pretty well (a hauck) so I knew that I would be able to get her home at least. She would have slept in the pram if she had come straight home. Lucky really that I then had a month to buy everything I neededsmile

Sidge Tue 22-Jul-14 09:11:35

How scary for you. I had DD2 at 34 weeks so know a bit as to how you feel.

Don't worry about 'stuff' - if baby comes now s/he will be small and need a bit of support so may need to go to SCBU where they will have everything you need!

Take it easy, eat when you can and drink plenty especially in this hot weather. Nothing you can do will change the outcome so relax and know you're in the right place.

Hugs and fingers crossed your BabyKoala stays put a little longer smile

Oh, you poor love.

Look at it another way, there was a crisis and everyone pulled through. Now all that is left for you to do is try and stay calm. Baby stuff is not important right now, you wont need much, and your parents can round up a few bits for you if you need. Hell, I'll post you some stuff if you need!

Let's hope the baby stays put for a little while longer. If not, you are in the best place already.

What an awful shock for you all.

loopylou6 Tue 22-Jul-14 09:12:49

I'm sure baby will be fine, they can survive from 24 weeks, and you're n the best possible place smile

Do they know what caused the bleeding?

OnlyLovers Tue 22-Jul-14 09:15:17

I've never been pregnant so I have no useful insight, but I couldn't read and not offer you a hand to hold. Thinking of you. thanks

Petallic Tue 22-Jul-14 09:16:14

I had the same happen to me at 32 weeks. Dd2 is nearly 2 now. They'll be keeping a close eye on you now in hospital. They weren't able to stop my labour and after a few days in hospital DD was born. But the drugs work in lots of cases. Are you getting any tightenings/contractions?

KnackeredMuchly Tue 22-Jul-14 09:16:25

How awful sad

You are in the best place, your baby is in safe hands and so are your children. You must ne terrified - I am sending many positive thoughts your way flowers

Groovee Tue 22-Jul-14 09:16:41

Much love to you and hope baby stays there for a while longer x

Baddderz Tue 22-Jul-14 09:17:31

You poor thing!
How shocking for you.
My eldest dn was born at 27 weeks.
My sister had ore eclampsia.
He is now a strapping nearly 11 year old who is nearly as tall as me!
You are in the best place, the baby has had steroids, and is ok where he/she is for now.
Thinking of you x

Gileswithachainsaw Tue 22-Jul-14 09:17:39

I know this is scary and it's hard not to think the worst but you are in the best place. Lots of times this kind of thing turns out to be all ok in the end. You have had steroids and are in the best place.

If baby chooses to meet you now he stands a good chance of being fine.

Let the drs look after baby and take care of yourself. Rest up,eat and drink( if allowed) and try to remain calm.


IAmNotAPrincessIAmAKahleesi Tue 22-Jul-14 09:17:47

What a horrible shock for you, you must have been terrified sad

Thank goodness you and baby are ok though

I had one of my sons at 33 weeks and he was fine, needed a bit of help to stay warm and he was teeny but I took him home after six days and excl bf him

I hope things settle down for you now thanks

starfishmummy Tue 22-Jul-14 09:19:42

Oh goodness. What a sock for you and your Dh. Try not to worry about the baby things - friends and family will rally round I'm sure if necessary. Just concentrate on yourself and baby


CillaBlacksOrangeBouffant Tue 22-Jul-14 09:22:58

Another hand to hold onto here flowers

If it helps, I was born at 29 weeks 45 years ago when they didn't have all the technology and knowledge that they do now, and I'm absolutely fine... I was just the smallest in my class at primary.. but I think I would have been small anyway.. I'm 5ft 0 now smile

Embolio Tue 22-Jul-14 09:25:17

Oh god you poor thing. What a terrible shock for you. I had similar with my ds at 32 weeks when all my waters went at 3am along with a bleed. I was in hospital for monitoring for 4 or 5 days and was then allowed home on antibiotics. He hung on til 34 weeks and then I spontaneously went into labour, which was very quick, about 2 hours in total. He was born weighing 6lb 1 and taken to NICU where he had cpap to help him breath for 24 hours. He also had phototherapy for jaundice. He had very poor suck reflex and had to be tube fed for a couple of weeks before going onto bottles and then he was allowed home.

He has absolutely thrived and has no ongoing issues. I've noticed he was slow to wean in comparison to his brother and a little bit slower to crawl, but now he's got going there is no stopping him. The charity bliss/tinylife is brilliant for info.

Hope you're ok OP. I fully understand the worry.

Embolio Tue 22-Jul-14 09:26:46

Oh yes, and I was also born at 34 weeks 35 years ago (sob). I'm fine smile

Oh poor you. Hope you're ok, you and your baby are in the best place possible xxxxx

fromparistoberlin73 Tue 22-Jul-14 09:30:34

sending you the best, its must be so scary but if baby comes early he or she will survive- and if not they will monitor and make you rest

I know how scared you are bit the most critical thing if you breathe, medidate and and try and be calm and positive

keep us posted XXXXXXXXX

and great to read all the little prem babies postiong here as aduklts!!!

MrsKoala Tue 22-Jul-14 09:32:54

Thanks all. Ive just had an uncontrollable sob and feeling a little silly.

eve - those steroid injections hurt like muther fucker. I was really swearing and stamping my feet. I cant believe it! They ended up giving me a local for one of the canulas. I couldn't stand the 'fishing' anymore.

thank you all so much. I have loads of stress at the mo (nightmare house purchase, mil is very ill with cancer, fil wont let dh visit and all our property is in their shed, no car, hospital £30 taxi ride each way, difficult toddler to look after...deep breath and ignore).

i really appreciate all the kind words. smile

WanttogotoDisney Tue 22-Jul-14 09:34:48

Sorry you had this scare. My DC came at 33 weeks without warning so no steroids. They've spent all morning building amazing lego creations and are now on their way to summer camp. Chances are your baby will need nothing more than a few days in SCBU to put on weight and will be fine. Best of luck.

DidoTheDodo Tue 22-Jul-14 09:35:26

Another one piling in here to wish you and BabyKoala all the very best. Hang on there BabyK... he/she sounds like a strong one.

FolknNorah Tue 22-Jul-14 09:36:00

I guess all you can do is try to take it easy and stay calm.(easier said than done)
Have you got a list of the absolute necessities you need?Would focussing on that help you? You could then ask people to get the stuff for you or order it ready.
Best of luck to you all thanks

MrsKoala Tue 22-Jul-14 09:39:16

The baby is big apparently anyway so that's a comfort.

i thought i had loads of time as ds was born at 40+18 shock . That experience was fucking awful and i was really hoping this one would be a less stressful time. Dh, who has always wanted 4 has said he's happy now with 2 grin

shanewayne Tue 22-Jul-14 09:40:26

Hi, this happened to me with our first baby at 34 weeks.
Exactly how you described, blood pouring out and losing clots. I was admitted to hospital for tests but allowed to go home the next day as baby was fine on the monitors etc. They couldn't say what it was or why it had happened, just one of those things.
I took it easy and he was born at 37 weeks perfect and healthy.

HypodeemicNerdle Tue 22-Jul-14 09:41:35

What an awful shock for you all.

It sounds positive that baby has a strong heartbeat and is kicking. Hopefully this morning someone will be able to talk you through what has happened so far and what is likely to happen next.

Fingers tightly crossed that babykoala hangs on inside for a bit longer but if he/she does come now you've had the steroids and are in the right place

JennyOnTheBlocks Tue 22-Jul-14 09:42:23

Hang in there, MrsK

They will be doing the very best for you and babyK thanks

Another positive premie story, my cousin was born at 24 weeks, she's just had her own baby smile

fairnotfair Tue 22-Jul-14 09:42:43

thanks thanks brew brew cake cake

pictish Tue 22-Jul-14 09:44:14

How scary for you, you poor thing!
Hang on in there...I'm certain all will be well. xxx

weebarra Tue 22-Jul-14 09:44:42

I've seen your previous post Mrs K and I know you've been having a time of it. You're in the best place and hopefully baby will stay put a wee while longer, but even if that doesn't happen, I'm sure all will be well. Those steroid injections do hurt though - had them when DD was threatening to come at 34 weeks, she hung on till 37!

YouAreMyRain Tue 22-Jul-14 09:46:12

You must be terrified! Waiting 25 mins for an ambulance car, them having to wait again for the ambulance! Your poor DH too.

Another positive story here. My DS was born at 30 weeks and is now a bonny ten month old. You can't tell he was prem at all.

The 33 weekers that came into SCBU looked positively enormous in comparison to him.

Also, realistically, if your baby does arrive very soon, they will be in SCBU for at least a few days and that does give you a bit of breathing space to order car seat/buggy etc.

Good luck xx

OnlyLovers Tue 22-Jul-14 09:46:14

Good to hear from you, OP, and hang in there.

'fil wont let dh visit' hmm

AlpacaLypse Tue 22-Jul-14 09:48:27

flowers Couldn't read and run MrsK, you're a regular name I see with affection on the boards.

DTDs were born at 33 weeks. Both girls now taller than me, and even more important have bigger feet so at least my shoes are safe from being 'borrowed', unlike two of my favourite t-shirts which keep appearing in their dirty washing baskets...

AlpacaLypse Tue 22-Jul-14 09:51:47

And SCBU should your baby have to stay there can also be seen as a fantastic babysitting opportunity. The couple of weeks of full night's sleep I was able to enjoy while the lovely nurses cared for them really helped me recover my strength for when I did bring them home - and gave me a chance to get the kit I needed. I'd only started maternity leave about three days before it all happened, and had a double buggy and one multipack of vests. Nothing else at all!

crazykat Tue 22-Jul-14 09:52:05

Try not to worry too much which I know is easier said than done. You're in the best place for care for you and your baby.

33 weeks is early but I was born at 34 weeks and the only problem I had was jaundice which needed a few days under a uv lamp. Medicine has come a long way in 26 years and its not uncommon for babies to be delivered early for one reason or another.

Try to relax and don't worry about not having anything bought yet. If you deliver soon then your baby will likely need to stay in for a few days and you can order everything you need online. All you really need is a car seat, Moses basket and bedding, and some vests, sleep suits and nappies for the first few days/weeks.

Have you got a tablet or laptop that DH can bring in so you can look online and order some essentials which will also give you something to do?

Handholding MrsKoala - I had the same at 29 weeks, it is terrifying. I had several significant bleeds over the following 3 weeks (unexplained) and DS finally arrived at 31+5. I'd had the steroids at 29 weeks when it first happened (they really are sodding painful aren't they?! The second shot wasn't as bad as the first, though. DS needed a little help with breathing the first night, then all he had to do was learn to feed, be able to maintain his temperature and put on weight - he came home after 16 days.

It is a very traumatic experience though - I had CBT a few months after DS' birth purely for the trauma I experienced with the bleeding. PM me if you want to talk about it. Just try to focus on the fact that baby is fine, and has a really good prognosis even if he/she arrived straight away now.

Re stuff, we didn't have anything when DS arrived - I think I'd bought a couple of tiny baby baby grows on eBay during the 3 weeks I was in hospital, but that was it. DH and I ran out to the supermarket on day 2 for vests and nappies, and did a dash to john Lewis the weekend before DS came home from hospital to buy all the other kit (that was an expensive week!).

Thinking of you thanks

slithytove Tue 22-Jul-14 09:56:54

Steroids hurt like a bitch - for the next one, get them to do it in your butt cheek was fast as possible.

My first one was in my thigh, masochistically slow, and I thought I was going to pass out!

And anecdotally, my cousin was born at 28 weeks 16 years ago - no one could tell to look at her now!

Any idea of baby's weight? Chances are that with a short stay in nicu to establish temp and feeding, they will be just fine.

Relax, breathe, and just get through each hour as best you can. Did they find a reason for the bleeding?

ScrambledSmegs Tue 22-Jul-14 09:57:26

Oh crikey, you poor love. I think a bit of uncontrollable sobbing is obligatory in the circumstances. At least the baby is doing well - a big strong baby koala!

I have a friend who had a big bleed at around 32 weeks, was in hospital for a few days because of that and other concerns, everything settled down and then she went overdue by 10 days, so it's not always the precursor to an early baby. Maybe not what you want to hear given the circumstances of your DS's birth though?!

Presumably lots of tlc and watching box sets for a while now?

MrsKoala Tue 22-Jul-14 09:59:51

Good idea about the tablet. Ill get dh to bring it in.

great to read of all these early ones thriving. I was 36wks and 6.4lb. I just want to hold on for a couple more wks.

does anyone know about bfiing if necessary at this early? I don't have any milk at home.

JWIM Tue 22-Jul-14 10:02:11

Tip for the steroid injections - you may well have more - wiggle your toes while it is being done.

Hope today brings some positive news/explanations.

MrsKoala Tue 22-Jul-14 10:05:27

Oh my fucking god. Dh has left his mobile in the taxi and has no way of contacting them as no idea who they are. Ive been ringing it but no answer. Its brand fucking new and i need to be able to get hold of him. The man is plonktastic.

FolknNorah Tue 22-Jul-14 10:06:12

Should come in as normal, but you might need to pump a lot and regularly day and night if your lo is tube fed at first.
Hopefully, you will get a bit of a rest and then go home and all will be well and you'll be back here in a few weeks moaning that you're overdue..... grin

FolknNorah Tue 22-Jul-14 10:07:31

My oldest was 36 weeks too and no issues either.
Really really wish you luck.

LiberalLibertines Tue 22-Jul-14 10:12:24

Oh love flowers what a shock.

My dd was born at 32 wks,I was also an unprepared mess, no family for 70 miles,dp was away with work, 3 yr old ds.

I was throwing things in a bag while waiting for ambulance!

She was fine, born breathing alone, and was home in two weeks smile

LiberalLibertines Tue 22-Jul-14 10:16:18

Oh, and a brew and [cuff round back of head] for your lovely dh smile

BellaVita Tue 22-Jul-14 10:20:28

Oh MrsK what a nightmare for you flowers.

Sending huuuuge squidges xxx

MrsKoala Tue 22-Jul-14 10:23:58

Thanks all. I am just so incredulous dh has lost his phone. My rational side knows he's overwhelmed and tired BUT, FOR. FUCK.SAKE. REAALLY? (sigh)

Honsandrevels Tue 22-Jul-14 10:24:33

My dd2 was born at 33+1 at 4lb 6 and stayed in for 2.5 weeks. I had to express milk for her and it took a while for her to learn to bf because she couldn't suck. Don't worry about clothes or stuff as they are usually naked in the incubator and once transferred to an cot the neo natal usually have tiny clothes to borrow.

She's 3.5 now, absolutely fine and a bundle of fun.

Hope your baby stays put for a while longer.

Oh and those steriod injections are awful! I couldn't walk properly afterwards.

ScrambledSmegs Tue 22-Jul-14 10:25:05

grin I'm sorry he had a dim moment, but plonktastic is a fabulous word.

Where did he get the taxi from?

Staywithme Tue 22-Jul-14 10:30:12

Send a really emotional message to your husband on the phone, such as, "I need you now...." . I'm suggesting this because when my oldest lost his phone we heard nothing for a couple of days until I sent an emotional text explaining that it was important to my boy because he had messages on it from my very ill husband. Lo and behold, the taxi driver suddenly found it. hmm Must have found his conscience too.

I really feel for you at this rough time and hope things pick up for you and your family soon. Your poor DH must be very annoyed too about the phone. Don't be too hard on him as I'm sure he's running round like a headless chicken at the moment. thanks

airforsharon Tue 22-Jul-14 10:37:18

I had this at 32 weeks - I'd been told I had placenta praevia (sic?) at my 20 week scan and told I could bleed suddenly and heavily. So when it happened I was prepared but it was still a shock - the bleeding was very heavy, it was like a tap had been turned on.

I bleed on and off for the next few weeks so dd was finally delivered by section at 37 weeks. Good weight, no problems at all.

On the upside, the care I had from the hospital was superb, I was monitored like a hawk and kept well informed by the staff. The worst parts for me physically were the steroid shots - apparently standard when the baby might be delivered early- and the ever present cannula in the back of my hand. Really bloody sore.

Hope all goes well for you OP

SpringItOn Tue 22-Jul-14 10:39:33

So sorry to hear this, but you're in very good hands and there are lots of positive signs!

What kind of phone is it? If its an iPhone it's easily tracked but I don't know much about other ones x

MrsKoala Tue 22-Jul-14 10:46:21

I sent a message to the phone, and it turns out dh had poured his heart out to told the driver. So the company are being lovely and just said call them when ds is home and they will drop it off. I said id pay of course and they have said absolutely not. They know we are having a tough time and these things happen.

i am now crying at how lovely everyone is being. I think i will try to sleep.

check in later. Thank you all so much. You've really kept me going.

Marcelinewhyareyousomean Tue 22-Jul-14 10:53:44

thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks

How lovely of the taxi firm. I was 4.9 (twin), dn was born at 34 weeks and was 5lbs ish.

Sending all my positive thoughts.

As others have said, sucking reflex may not be there at the start (usually develops around 34 weeks) but DS had it at birth, we started trying to feed on day 2 or 3, and slowly (very slowly) built up to fully bf at 2 weeks. I was pumping in the hospital and at home for milk for his ng tube feeds - I didn't make enough to keep up right at the beginning, so he was supplemented with formula for the first week.
I bought a cheap tommee tippee hand pump from the supermarket at first, but it made my hand ache so much that I bought an electric ameda lactaline double pump, which I made use of until after DS turned 1.

blueskiesandflowers Tue 22-Jul-14 11:03:54

Oh op what a shock
Glad dh will get phone back
Your baby sounds strong
I would get dh to buy baby bits

If you get bored in hospital you could maybe make him a little phone holder out of loom bands that he can wear around his neck and you can strangle him with it the next time he does something stupid wink

My 16 year old niece was born at 34 weeks and she was absolutely fine, no problems at all.

TheIronGnome Tue 22-Jul-14 11:09:23

I was born exactly a month early at 5.10 I think, my DM stayed in a couple of days then went home as was the norm then. My (older) DS was between 6-7 weeks early, 4.something and stayed in a week or 2 I believe but nothing the matter there. She had a little nose tube but that was all.

What a scare op, but I'm sure all will be fine- even if you give birth today! Remember that due dates aren't usually exactly 'right' at the best of times!

Doctors are so advanced now, and you're pretty far on in pregnancy, I'm sure everything will be just fine thanks

TheIronGnome Tue 22-Jul-14 11:10:45

Oh, and we were both breast fed, from the very start as far as I know!

TheIronGnome Tue 22-Jul-14 11:11:18

Though my DSis nose tube was probably food.

dawndonnaagain Tue 22-Jul-14 11:14:38

MrsKoala I had twin dds at 33 weeks. They are 17 now and if you take a look at the mugs thread, you can see the mug I just bought for one of them! grin

With regard to Breastfeeding, it is possible, but initially you'll probably need to express, mine were fed via ng tube for the first week.
Hope all goes well.

Maryz Tue 22-Jul-14 11:17:10

Oh, great news about the phone - it's the little kindnesses that mean so much when life is a bit shit.

Hang on in there - hopefully you will actually get time to be bored, because every hour, day and week improves the outcome - but tbh 33 weeks isn't that early any more.

Be nice to yourself - you must be suffering from shock as much as anything else flowers

NoMontagues Tue 22-Jul-14 11:19:15

Hi MrsK -I know you from the pregnancy boards. So sorry you've had to go through this and thank god baby is fine. My colleague went into labour after Christmas in the office at 26 weeks and had the baby later that day- he's absolutely fine and has been home for the last couple of months.

HumblePieMonster Tue 22-Jul-14 11:19:41


eurochick Tue 22-Jul-14 11:27:19

Hi mrsk. If this does mean that the baby needs to come earlier, there is a very good chance of all being fine. My baby was delivered last Thursday at 34 weeks exactly because my placenta wasn't working well. She is tiny (three and a half pounds at birth) but is breathing for herself and so far just needs help with feeding and the sunlamps for jaundice. I hate her being in hospital and away from me, but hopefully it won't be for long. We knew it was coming for 6 weeks as the problem was spotted at my 28 week scan, so I had 6 weeks to read everything on the internet and worry myself senseless, but she's doing really well.

Bonsoir Tue 22-Jul-14 11:31:21

Good luck MrsKoala. Are you in Pembury?

idontlikealdi Tue 22-Jul-14 11:35:41

Exactly he same happened to me at 31+3 - had an emergency section after having the steroids. DTs were 3.1lb and 3.3lb.

In my case it was a placental abruption that caused the ridiculous amount of bleeding. The babies were never at risk - good strong heartbeats and movement all through it.

They are three now and you would never know the rocky start they had.

Wishing you luck.

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen Tue 22-Jul-14 11:45:41

I had ds at 32 weeks, he was 3lbs 9oz and was in scbu for 3 weeks. No problems and by his due date he was a healthy 7lbs.

You're in the right place and being well looked after. I won't say don't worry as it's impossible not tothanks brew

TheGrinchWearsStripes Tue 22-Jul-14 11:48:20

Another one just popping in to wish you all the best. Wonderful news that baby Koala's heartbeat is going strong. My DS was born at 31 weeks - he is now 2 and completely fine. Keeps us all on our toes just as he should!

I know how scary all this can be though, so sending you my warmest wishes.

Sending you lots of best wishes flowers

LadySybilLikesCake Tue 22-Jul-14 11:52:55

Goodness, how scary for you sad LOTS of positive vibes for you from here. I hope you're managing to have a rest and they are helping thanks

Cocolepew Tue 22-Jul-14 11:55:41

How scary for you and your mum, motorways freak me out


I hope you got some sleep.
thanks for you.
Hand holding here.

enormouse Tue 22-Jul-14 12:00:46

Sending Zen thoughts and eucalyptus your way MrsK. Thinking of you.
I've just sent you a pm too.

GingerRodgers Tue 22-Jul-14 12:05:27

thanks MrsK
So sorry you had to go through that. Glad you're in the right place for you and baby.

magimedi Tue 22-Jul-14 12:06:41

No experience to offer but just wanted to say hallo mrsK

Pleased that DH found his phone & hoping all is OK.


ScrambledSmegs Tue 22-Jul-14 12:06:54

How lovely of the taxi firm smile

Hope you're getting some sleep now.


slithytove Tue 22-Jul-14 12:11:05

Hope you have got some rest and baby koala is bouncing away merrily in there.

I'm 32+4 with a difficult pregnancy, so I can sympathise with how you must be feeling. Poor DH too, his head must be all over the place!

Hopefully things will settle down and he can go back to work, focus on normality for a bit longer.

How are your other DC? Happy with GP?

What baby equipment had you decided on? We are still struggling to choose a pram, luckily have car seat and crib from DS, albeit in pieces in the loft!

VeryThelma Tue 22-Jul-14 12:19:34

Keep going hope you are having a rest let the steroids do the work. Hope you mum is Ok now - she was really brave (Mums are good at doing that)

Anyway hope you are doing well do let us know how things are going

WanttogotoDisney Tue 22-Jul-14 12:24:57

You will still be able to breast feed if you chose to. If LO is well enough s/he may be able to go straight on the breast as normal. If not, you will be encouraged to express and your milk will be given by tube (not nearly as bad as it sounds!). Hospital grade breast pumps are great to build up supply but you need to be disciplined and pump 3 hourly round the clock as though you are feeding LO. Don't be disheartened by the tiny amounts you collect at the start as they soon build up.

Veins Tue 22-Jul-14 12:49:31


tedmundo Tue 22-Jul-14 12:59:03

Good luck today Mrs Koala .. Thinking of you.

Ds3 tried to make an early appearance at 33 weeks. I had the steroids and then meds to stop the contractions and the little brighter had to be shoe horned out at 40 weeks.

Tip though .. The steroids need to be 24 hrs apart. Give them (midwives) a gentle reminder at about 20 hrs as mine forgot, they were so busy. It added to our stress that could have been avoided! Other than that, they wee amazing. A nurse came over from nicu to talk to us about what would happen if the baby came early etc so that we would not be frightened by the machines etc. they were awesome to us.

Shia Tue 22-Jul-14 13:03:10

Wishing you and your family all the best.

It's been very frightening for all of you and I hope that your baby continues to thrive.

HauntedNoddyCar Tue 22-Jul-14 13:07:32

Aw that's good about the phone. Hope you get some rest and that they look after you both well.

SageYourResoluteOracle Tue 22-Jul-14 13:12:07

Oh you poor thing Mrs Koala. Sending positive thoughts your way too.

DD was delivered at 35+1 after I was in hospital for 6 weeks with pre eclampsia and she was growth restricted. She only weighed 2lb 10ozs but was totally fine. Breathed on her own and just needed to be kept warm and fattened up before we could take her home. She did 4 weeks in SCBU and now she's a very lively and talkative 3 year old!

I had two lots of two steroid injections (29 weeks and 32 weeks) and yes, they hurt to fuck! More painful than my actual c-section wound.

Re DH's phone- glad the taxi company are being understanding. This is exactly the sort of thing my DH would do especially in a crisis. Bless them though: it must be scary to feel helpless and not in control.

Breast feeding: this will still be possible but Baby Koala might take a little longer to develop a suck reflex and may be fed through a nasal-gastric tube for a while if he/she comes early. This means that any breast milk you feed the baby via the tube will need to be expressed before hand. It might be worth looking into pumps now if you would like to breast feed. Some hospitals will lend them out to parents but you can also hire hospital grade fancy pants Medela pumps if you so wish to milk yourself silly. I did. Was a struggle but I was determined to control something. I hired mine from a local pharmacy. Man was I attractive double pumping at home in front of all and sundry. Summer too so I was sweating like a bastard and pumping between hospital visits and then pumping some more. I almost feel nostalgic about that time now... almost, I said. Google and you'll find pump hire companies.

Hang on in there and big unmumsnetty hugs for you. I know how scary it feels to be in this position thanksthanksthanks

Couldn't read and run.
I'm so glad the taxi firm are being lovely. It's horrible when something like that happens when you need the thing most.

Re: BF, DS was in SCBU for 2 weeks, on a feeding tube for a week of this, and I borrowed a Merena double pump from the hospital and set up what DP referred to as a "milking Shed" (how lovely!) and just pumped constantly, when DS was strong enough was allowed to start trying to establish latching and feeding. Still feeding over 2 years later!

Bug unmumsnetty hugs and lots of love to you and your family thanks

ILickPicnMix Tue 22-Jul-14 13:41:47

I had a huge clot and bleed too and my baby was 7 weeks early. He's 2 now and is doing SO well and is perfect other than his hobby of drawing on my walls
You are in the best place, REST as much as you can. thanks

BIWI Tue 22-Jul-14 13:48:01


You're in the right place, and sounds like you could do with trying to rest up as much as you can anyway!

trufflehunterthebadger Tue 22-Jul-14 13:56:00

30 year old bil was born at 32 weeks x

trufflehunterthebadger Tue 22-Jul-14 13:58:43

And one of my friend's husbands, a father of 2 himself now, was born i think at 28 weeks. You would never know, he is a strapping canoeist ;)

Legionofboom Tue 22-Jul-14 15:17:16

Still thinking of you thanks

A friend's 25 year old son was born at 31 weeks and is now married with a son and enjoying a successful career in the military. He is super fit and super strong.

Primadonnagirl Tue 22-Jul-14 15:27:40

MrsK I always enjoy your posts..don't think I've ever disagreed with you! I have nothing to offer but heartfelt best wishes.Like everyone has said this is awful but you are in the right place and everyone is rooting for you.Babies can tough little buggers when they need to be.

DreamingofSummer Tue 22-Jul-14 15:33:35

Hi MrsK

I hope you are having a better time of things.

TO try to reassre you, my firstborn was 7 weeks early and number two son was 5 weeks early. Both fine from the start and now grown up with kids of their own

Thinking of you

Sorelip Tue 22-Jul-14 15:38:34

Thinking of you and yours thanks

spiderlight Tue 22-Jul-14 16:07:40

Scary time for you all. I hope the littlest koala stays put for a good while longer, but you're in the best place if he does decide to make his appearance. My friend had a similar bleed last year at 32 weeks and then absolutely nothing - her DS was born the day after his due date and is now a strapping toddler.

Thinking of you thanks

CarbeDiem Tue 22-Jul-14 16:09:40

How scary for you and MrKoala ((big hugs))
Sending positive -stay-in-mummys-tummy thoughts. you're in the best place, minus the needles of course, I hope you manage to get some rest.

How lovely of the taxi firm, there's not many like that around anymore.

Take care thanksthanks

Pancakeflipper Tue 22-Jul-14 16:14:35

Another hug to help reassure you.
My youngest sibling was 2months and 2weeks prem. This was yonks ago when prem baby care wasn't as advanced and she's a bright happy totally irritating adult now.

My parents had nothing for baby either -don't worry about it. Stuff somehow happens and appears. It honestly does, nothing like a new born with no belongings for people to empty their lofts.

Rest and take good care Mrs K.

And glad the phone turned up.

hamptoncourt Tue 22-Jul-14 16:14:39

I went into labour with DS at 29 weeks and they managed to stop it. He was then 10 days late grin

Don't take the mobile losing out on DH, it's nothing in the grand scheme of things.

You are safe.

Your baby is safe.


CakeUpWall Tue 22-Jul-14 16:18:13

Sending love & good luck wishes to you all. thanks

tenderbuttons Tue 22-Jul-14 16:22:52

Good luck, but I am sure you will both be fine. My god-daughter was born at 31 weeks (having had steroid injections etc). She's in her final year at university and sailing through.

PartyConfused Tue 22-Jul-14 16:37:53

Hope all is well with both of you. I had dd2 at 29 weeks (to add to the many preemies here) and she was fine! Bit of a long stay in nicu but she had an easy ride bless her.

I wouldn't panic about baby stuff yet. If you do need to have baby early, the scbu will provide nappies etc initially. Then your dm can get some micro nappies from the supermarket (most stock them now even their own brand). I wouldn't stress aboit clothes etc. Especially if he is on the bigger side! Let the nurses guide you with what to get and where from. Amazon was good!

With re to milk. I mananged to bf for 5 months. You may find baby can't latch at first, but actually is at the right gestation to begin to. Again the hospital will guide you with expressing. All the babies on scbu were given preemie formula to take home anyway (if not bf).

Good luck! I remember how scary it is being rushed in way way too early. flowers

LeoandBoosmum Tue 22-Jul-14 16:40:54

Will say a little prayer for you and the baby (and your husband). Hope everything is ok x

eatscakefornoreasonwhatsoever Tue 22-Jul-14 16:41:39

You'll be able to hand express colostrum now. Ask the mw/nurses about vials to collect and freeze it in.
Also worth asking about any milk banks locally as preemies are most in need of human milk especially if feed by ngt as the milk can't even be broken down by the saliva and wotsits (forgotten word. Want to say amelayse) in the mouth and throat before it hits the stomach. It's just the best way to minimise the chance of food allergies at a later date.

Good luck. My best friend had both hers early and like someone else said it was just a matter of waiting until their temperature regulation was sorted then they went home. Kangaroo care helped a lot here. Thinking of you x

ladygracie Tue 22-Jul-14 16:43:21

Very scary for you and I hope you are resting now & more comfortable. My ds has twins in his class who were born at 20 something weeks. They are now the tallest boys in the class and totally healthy. Good Luck & how lovely that the taxi firm are being fab.

Rainicorn Tue 22-Jul-14 16:44:07

Good luck MrsK flowers

CalamityKate1 Tue 22-Jul-14 16:46:56

DSS was born at 30 weeks and is now a strapping 6'1" 24 year old.

Good luck xxx

ThatWasNice Tue 22-Jul-14 17:00:42

Hope everything is going ok. thanks brew cake

SaskiaRembrandtWasFramed Tue 22-Jul-14 17:05:05

I had a spontaneous bleed at 16 weeks during my last pg. There was so much blood I was convinced I'd lost DS, but he was still there kicking away smile He was eventually born huge and healthy at 38 weeks.

My older son was born at 32 week and spent some time in SCBU due to jaundice, not being able to suck or digest milk, and low temp. He did have some slight delays in physical progress for the first few years, but then caught up and has done amazingly well. He's now in his 20s, over 6 foot tall and during a job that is both physically and intellectually demanding.

Hope you've managed to get some sleep - good luck to you!

ikeaismylocal Tue 22-Jul-14 17:15:03

You poor thing, how terrifying.

Ds's cousin was born at 34 weeks, he's now 22 months and him and ds were running around tge park this morning, the little cousin who was 4 pounds at birth was climbing and swinging on the climbing frame, running about, chatting, my ds was born at 41+4 at 10 pounds, ds is now 19 months. Ds is still slightly bigger but the cousin's parents are both petite so I think that isggenetic, you wouldn't be able to guess which cheeky monkey little boy had been born early.

Best of luck to you flowers

MrsKoala Tue 22-Jul-14 17:15:57

Thank you all i am overwhelmed with all your kind supportive word. Crappy phone is hard to scroll back so i cant answer you all personally till i get home. But the personal stories are so positive and making me feel much better.

had the injections and whoever said the second ones were not as painful was right. Much better this time.

had a scan and all looks well. Placenta is now only partly covering the exit. So another scan is booked for 36wks and if all is well and its moved i may not need a section. So that's the dream scenario. The baby is measuring at about 5.4lb they reckon, which is well within a healthy rate if we need an emergency section. I am being kept in for at least another day for more monitoring.

i also - unrelated have a urine infection and high temp.

bonsior - yes, i am in Pembury. Its actually a lovely new hospital (way better than my last baby experience in mk). Now i can see where my council tax is going - this is not just a hospital, it's a sevenoaks hospital. wink

thank once again everyone smile thanks

OnlyLovers Tue 22-Jul-14 17:18:08

Oh, OP, that's GREAT news. I'm so pleased.

Look after yourself and the baby. thanks brew

Cailleach Tue 22-Jul-14 17:19:04

My cousin's baby was born at 33 weeks back in January and is fine. She was teeny-tiny at first but was otherwise A-OK and is thriving now.

Hope all goes well for you OP, try not to worry too much.


Maryz Tue 22-Jul-14 17:20:13

Oh, that sounds so positive gringringrin, I'm really pleased.

5.4 is pretty hefty - you may be glad of a 38 week section if s/he keeps growing.

EddieStobbart Tue 22-Jul-14 17:20:43

DH was born at 34 weeks 40 years ago. He is majorly sporty and had a phd unlike his DW. Hang it there.

EveDallasRetd Tue 22-Jul-14 17:22:07

That's great MrsK, really pleased for you (at 34 weeks DD was only 3lb1oz, so that size is great!)

EddieStobbart Tue 22-Jul-14 17:25:12

Just seen update, that's great news! DH about 4.5lb and 34 weeks and fine and I was 5.5lb at 37 weeks, hope you are feeling better.

CynthiaRose Tue 22-Jul-14 17:47:12

I had my babies at 35 weeks in Pembury. I spent a week in transitional care. Great having your own room!

Gileswithachainsaw Tue 22-Jul-14 17:55:54

That's an amazing weight! And really great news.

Hang in a bit longer though koalababy

Hang in there MiniKoala !!!

Love and hugs from the Koala Quiche grin

MrsKoala Tue 22-Jul-14 18:06:07

And ive discovered some tv gold in the form of something called 4 in a bed. Why have none of you told me about this? I'm very cross with you all wink

lunar1 Tue 22-Jul-14 18:08:24

Really glad to see a happy update, I can't imagine how scary that was.

FolknNorah Tue 22-Jul-14 18:13:28

Excellent news. Does that mean you can go home or are you in for the duration? grin

Solo Tue 22-Jul-14 18:30:10

Sending good wishes MrsK smile thanks

BranchingOut Tue 22-Jul-14 18:33:20

That is good news, crossing fingers for you.

MrsKoala Tue 22-Jul-14 18:33:29

Well if they keep letting me watch tripe on daytime telly then i may go firm and refuse to leave. I could get used to laying about having surprisingly good food brought to me and no ceebeebies or fireman sam . But if all carries on fine I'll be kicked out tomo.

thanks hang it on there.

ipswichwitch Tue 22-Jul-14 18:42:36

I'll be keeping everything crossed for you. DS1 was born (had cs) at 34 weeks after 2 steroid injections, weighing 4lb 5. I expressed I think every 3 or 4 hours as he was tube fed on Scbu for 3 weeks. He was really only there til he could control his temp and feed himself. Scbu nurses were brilliant helping us to get feeding. I had to stay the weekend on the antenatal ward prior to him coming home, to be certain he was feeding himself adequately an gaining weight. He's now a perfectly healthy 2.9yo, bouncing g off the walls with pirate hat on and no pants! (Potty training smile )

Everything crossed for you. flowers

MrsHummels Tue 22-Jul-14 18:52:40

MrsK, I hope you can keep BabyKoala in the pouch for a bit longer, but I also hope your placenta behaves!
I had a placenta praevia with my firstborn, isn't nice.
What a shock for you all. Have some flowers

JellyBabiesSaveLives Tue 22-Jul-14 18:57:03

Placenta praevia bleeds are scary aren't they - such a lot of blood, so bright red, and no pain. Weird. My boys were born at 34 & 33 weeks (placenta praevia each time). Both had 2 weeks in SCBU and came home breast feeding.

If it doesn't move, then a planned cs is a lovely calm way to give birth, even if not what you really wanted. But the bleed was probably caused by it starting to move. Well it doesn't move, your womb gets bigger - imagine a pen mark on the neck of a balloon. As you inflate the balloon, the pen mark gets further from the opening.

Of course, if you tell them you thought you saw a spot of blood, you might get another 24hrs in the nice hospital wink

MrsKoala Tue 22-Jul-14 19:50:40

Apparently 5.4-9lb is average for a 35 wk old, so this little joey is a good size at 33wks and quite hefty already. Ds was just over 9lb but was 18days late, so had extra time to podge up.

dh is exhausted and starving so i have sent him home. Anything worth watching on telly? Ive got no guide.

MrsKoala Tue 22-Jul-14 20:26:42

Oh no. Worse news. Mil has been given 3-6 months to live. Dh is devastated. She had a meeting with consultants today. Had her kidney out 2 wks ago and the cancer has spread. Poor mil. Poor dh. Poor fil.

we don't get on and they have been pretty toxic but i wouldn't wish this misery on them. Also it opens up a massive can of worms for dh where fil is concerned. He hates me so we wont be welcome there to help him. He will distance dh (mil is their go between) and no one will be able to reach him.

oh god. This is awful.

GingerRodgers Tue 22-Jul-14 20:28:26

Oh no! I know this sounds really heartless but you need to try not to let it upset you too much just at this minute. Make this baby te centre of your thoughts. Horrendous news but try not to let it stress you.
Oh MrsK it never rains but it pours eh?

hamptoncourt Tue 22-Jul-14 20:29:13

Mrs Koala where are your boundaries?

It sounds like FIL has made his own bed.

You sound very kind and it is awful about MIL, but you have your own priorities with your baby.

Please do not stress about what may or may not happen re FIL. Let it all play out and just concentrate on you and baby for now. thanks

Rainicorn Tue 22-Jul-14 20:39:34

Great news on the baby front MrsK.

So sorry to read about your MIL. Easier said than done, but please try to focus on the baby and yourself and not stress about your MIL as much. If there is bad blood, then it will not be easily healed in the time she has unless she makes the moves.

bumbleymummy Tue 22-Jul-14 20:40:53

Good news about baby Koala. Hope s/he hangs in there for another few weeks. I went into premature labour with DS1 and I totally agree with you on the steroid injections. Ow! They did the trick though because he arrived at a healthy weight and had no breathing problems. We got home within a week.

Sorry to hear about your MIL but, hard as it is, do just try to focus on you at the moment.

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen Tue 22-Jul-14 20:43:48

Crikey OP,5.4 is positively huge, that's great news.thanks

soapybubbles123 Tue 22-Jul-14 20:49:08

Oh sweetheart, I know its frightening. DS tried to arrive at 26 weeks and I had two lots of steroid injections.

I am a neonatal nurse and have looked after many 33 weekers. Unless they have a previously diagnosed health problem we do not tend to worry that they won't survive or that they will develop health problems. We put them in an incubator so that they don't expend all their energy keeping warm. We tend to feed them via nasogastric tube as they don't always suck very well at the beginning. We give them small feeds every hour or so and then build them up. If you develop a temperature they will be given antibiotics as a precaution.

If you'd like any more info or a hand to hold please please PM me. Your little one will be ok.

BikeRunSki Tue 22-Jul-14 21:11:13

Hi koala I was born at 33 weeks, 43 years ago! All ok so far smile

1944girl Tue 22-Jul-14 21:21:25

I've just logged onto MN and saw this thread.My thoughts are with you MrsKaola

My third granddaughter was born at 30 weeks after her mother caught an infection. She weighed 2lbs 10oz and spent 5 weeks in SCBU. She is now 18, and a very stroppy young madam!. Her sister was born at 35 weeks, weighed 5lbs and was allowed home the next day as she was breathing and feeding normally.She is now 20 and expecting her first baby in November.
To add to the record, my father and his twin sister were born prematurely during WW1. They were born at home as was normal then, and given no hope of survival they were so small.There was only prayers for babies this size in those days, but prayers worked and both lived to old age, married, and brought up families.

I am sending prayers for your baby, hope all is

lettertoherms Tue 22-Jul-14 21:36:55

My thoughts are with you, MrsK, what an horrible situation to go through and I'm so glad to hear it all looks good, hope BabyK stays nestled in there some weeks yet, but I'm sure he'll do just fine whenever he comes.

goshhhhhh Tue 22-Jul-14 21:42:23

Hi Mrs koala, hope you are ok & enjoying craps tv. It is sounding good on the baby front. I had placenta previa with no 1 & was monitored to the hilt. Mine moved so hope yours does too.
On the mil front - I feel for you & despite the toxic relationship it is still difficult isn't it. I often think all the craps gets thrown at you at once. Look after yourself asI suspect your dh (who seems a pretty great sort) relies on you for this kind of stuff. Make sure you take care so you have enough in reserve to share.

LiberalLibertines Tue 22-Jul-14 21:49:25

Urgh, what crappy timing for you and your poor dh. Have to agree with others that you need to concentrate on keeping well, and not stressing.

(Yes,4 in a bed is great)

thegreylady Tue 22-Jul-14 21:52:59

Just another positive story for you. My niece's baby arrived at 31 weeks last January. He weighed just 3lbs 6oz. He reached all his milestones, walked at 14 months and now, at 18 months has quite a vocabulary. He is also a water baby and can swim unaided (has been since 6 months). He is a joy to the whole family . Your baby has to be your focus Mrs K and your fil has made his choices but hopefully your dh will be able to see his mum and show her that he loves her.

jessplussomeonenew Tue 22-Jul-14 21:56:00

Thinking of you and BabyK - glad that it sounds like they're looking after you well.

SocialMediaAddict Tue 22-Jul-14 22:03:06

My twins were born at 32 weeks and they are huge strapping 9 year old's.

Good luck.

AlpacaLypse Wed 23-Jul-14 04:21:08

I'm so sorry to hear about MIL, as you say, no matter how badly you get on personally I wouldn't wish it on anyone. It's very hard not to stress about it, stuck in hospital, but you need to look after yourself and be strong for dh.

Thumbwitch Wed 23-Jul-14 04:50:58

Oh MrsK, you're really going through it just now, aren't you?!
So sorry to hear of this latest happening, hopefully you'll get a good year next year, although with your MIL's situation that's probably a vain hope.

Look, stop worrying about your FIL. It's his choice whether or not he makes it up with your DH and gets over himself, so leave him to it. It's very sad about MIL, but your DH will surely get to visit her, won't he? regardless of what his father says.

Hope that the baby stays put for another couple of weeks for you, but if not, then please don't worry - facilities for prem babies are so much better these days that your joey should be fine. thanks xx

mathanxiety Wed 23-Jul-14 06:50:16

thanks MrsK, you sweet lovely lady, what a roller coaster you are on.

Just try to take on one thing at a time. You can't fix everything that is wrong with everyone else. You possibly can't fix anything that is wrong with anyone else. Concentrate on your own self and let the world go on spinning.

Your delightful FIL may well find himself eating humble pie. Sometimes death brings people to their senses. Sometimes it doesn't. Nothing you can do for those who won't be helped. Look after yourself and BabyKoala.


happyzapper Wed 23-Jul-14 06:54:50

Stay in there girl .think of the child !!you have been so fu*king brave just keep it up

MrsKoala Wed 23-Jul-14 07:06:19

Terrible night. I know i should stop worrying but it's very hard at 2 am when all the thoughts flood in.

fil and dh haven't fallen out (ever) it is just he is a very very difficult man. I suppose a lot of my concerns are self interest because, while i accept that mil will die, i want it to be as well as that can be for dhs sake, and that means not having fils usual performances. This will make the grief easier for dh. However, i doubt fil will be able to see thru his grief and behave.

what happens after will also be made harder as it will means thru his pain dh will desperately be trying to look after fil from a distance. But, i accept that is nothing we can change . But it will be hard for me with a toddler and a baby on my own while dh hares off to keep checking on fil because he has decided to take the phone off the hook for 4 days.

my best hope is just getting thru the end with mil as best as possible. I know she will want to see ds and new baby but whether fil allows this will be anthor thing and that will break dhs heart and make peace more difficult for him.

sorry rambling now. Off to get a cup of tea
baby woken up and doing morning somersaults. Heart rate all good and no more bleeding. I had one of the canulas removed which is more comfortable and should be going home today.

my parents have ds and i may stay with them this weekend and see if dh wants/can visit his mum.

Bonsoir Wed 23-Jul-14 08:06:49

Glad to know you are in Pembury, MrsKoala. I had my DD in the old Pembury and thought the staff were brilliant.

Good luck with everything.

OnlyLovers Wed 23-Jul-14 09:44:49

I'm so sorry to hear this news, MrsK.

I don't have any useful advice (again!) but I will say that it sounds as though seeing the new baby is very important for you, MIL and your DH and that should IMO trump any problems between you and your FIL.

But mainly, I hope you get some rest in the next few days and you and the baby get properly well.


The last two to be enjoyed along with daytime telly. smile

Wolfiefan Wed 23-Jul-14 09:54:12

Only just seen this thread. So sorry you have had this scare and the awful news about MIL. Wishing you and your whole family peace and lots of RL support.
FWIW I was 5 lb and a bit. Now nearly 5ft 8!!

MrsKoala Wed 23-Jul-14 10:12:56

I have no problems with fil per se. Never had a cross word or anything. He just refuses to let people visit and doesn't like anyone there. He is civil with me and i with him.

he wont allow mil to leave the house without him and refuses to visit anyone. They didn't come to our wedding and never came to see ds when born and wouldn't allow us to visit till he was 4mo.

dh has asked to go up this weekend (alone) and they have said no. He has now said he doesn't want to talk/think about it anymore. Dhs defence mechanism has always been to retreat and deny - like mil. Its so frustrating because I'm from a very demonstrable family and we shout and get it all out. This is like some bizarre Joe orton/pinter play and i just want to scream. No one says what they mean and the rooms are full of elephants.

i will have to step back and just let them get on with it. Doesn't stop me wanting to smack their heads together tho.

Very pleased to hear you are OK and so is baby.
Sad news regarding your MIL though.
But as everyone else has said, concentrate on you and baby for now.
Support DH as much as you can manage.

I love 4 in a bed.
Not sure what's on daytime telly though so no recommendations here.
I always revert to Friends or Modern Family when nothing else is on.
Or NCIS or Criminal Minds!
I hope you get out today and rest up and then all goes well for the rest of your pregnancy.

sashh Wed 23-Jul-14 11:08:21

Poor you, and poor your dh, ds and parents.

Wow I would say you have a lot on your plate, but that is an underestimation.

Try to just concentrate on you and this new baby. If dh can't visit it is tough but it might be necessary if he has to look after your toddler and support his parents.

How do you get on with MIL? Can you tell her to hang on until she sees new grandchild? Some people you could say this to and they would smile, others would find it offensive which is why I ask.

Don't worry about baby things. All a new baby really needs is a nappy and I'm sure MN could organise a collection of hand me down anything and everything you need.

And 4 in a bed? There are several years worth of these, then there are the American ones too. Just what you need, rubbish day time TV.

CarbeDiem Wed 23-Jul-14 11:15:48

Sorry about mil MrsKoala thanks

Glad to hear little mini koala is behaving and that you're ok.
Take care x

MrsKoala Wed 23-Jul-14 11:32:21

Thanks all.

not sure if i said this upthread but we actually do technically have everything for the baby. But its all in storage at pils. We were meant to be collecting it before the baby came but now fil says we cant go up so i don't know what we are going to do. I don't want to buy it all again. I just want our stuff.

weebarra Wed 23-Jul-14 11:48:48

Is there any way you and DH can just turn up and demand your things? You do need them after all.

MrsKoala Wed 23-Jul-14 12:20:12

Oh ffs! Just had a call from my solicitor re the house we are buying. The house is free hold but the garden is lease hold and is leased from the railway. It is on a 65yr lease and we wanted to arrange extending to 99 years before we buy. But the leaseholders are saying they wont extend it at all. Aaarrgh. I think i need to post in legal.

Legionofboom Wed 23-Jul-14 13:38:15

The phrase 'it never rains but it pours' seems appropriate here MrsK.

It all sounds super stressful so please do look after yourself. brew cake thanks

PrimalLass Wed 23-Jul-14 14:27:38

Jeez I would pull out then, just in case it's because the railway want to use it eventually.

Flippin' 'eck love!
What a nightmare.
Well that's 3 major things now so hopefully that's an end to it.
Could you 'buy' the lease/land?

Get onto your MIL/FIL and tell them after what has happened you WILL be appearing at some time over the weekend to collect you baby things then you will leave.
FIL sounds like hard work!

I hope you get home soon so you can 'try' to relax in your own environment.

Bless you - I sooo hope everything works out.

MrsKoala Wed 23-Jul-14 14:54:42

Yes Prima - that's what they have implied. That they aren't renewing anyones lease on that side of the road and will possibly want to move the wall further into the garden in 65 years. It's obviously fine for us as we wont be there then. But if we want to sell in 10 years it is unlikely someone could get a mortgage on the whole land and we would have to sell it with half the garden gone.

TheGrinchWearsStripes Wed 23-Jul-14 15:00:47

Blimey, what a lot you have on your plate! As pp said, hopefully that's it now. And BabyK is of course your most important concern, so take care of yourself. thanks

I also really sympathise on the pil issue. I have a difficult relationship with my FIL, and my mil died earlier this year. It's a tough one. But actually I think my FIL has tried a little harder too, so I hope that something of the same happens for you in the midst of this tough time for everyone.

mathanxiety Wed 23-Jul-14 15:21:47

Such a pity about your horrible FIL. Hopefully the hospital that is treating your MIL will be stern about his attitude and very firm with him about your MIL possibly needing end of life palliative care and maybe hospice nurse visits or removal to a hospice.

I know families who have arranged meals on wheels (and discreet monitoring) for irascible 'loved ones' who made it clear they would brook no contact with family.

Does DH have two mates who could go with him and remove the things from the shed?

MrsKoala Wed 23-Jul-14 18:27:33

In their area i don't think they do meals on wheels, they seem to do a weekly drop of frozen meals for them to cook themselves. Fil wont use the microwave or oven and insists Mil cooks for him even when she has just had her kidney out.

When we last went there i cooked a nice dinner for us all and said it will be at 7. At 5 to 7 i went thru to say i was dishing up and fil wasn't there. Apparently he had just decided to go for a 2 hour walk. Then when he returned he insisted mil plate him up some dinner and heat it herself.

We sent £100 of cook food for them to eat when mil go out of the hospital and he threw them all in the bin and moaned till she got off her sick bed to make him a tin of soup.

When she goes i honestly think he will starve himself to death out of stubbornness to teach the world a lesson for mil not being there. He is basically a toddler in a mans body.

PrimalLass Wed 23-Jul-14 18:33:29

He sounds very abusive.

MrsKoala Wed 23-Jul-14 18:36:01

yes. he's a bully. but he never shouts. he withdraws and sulks. He punishes mil and dh with ignoring and silence.

PrimalLass Wed 23-Jul-14 20:36:53

It sounds like he is practically imprisoning her. What would happen if your DH just turned up without asking?

MrsKoala Wed 23-Jul-14 20:51:21

If Fil didn't like it he would sulk and then take it out on Mil.

Rachie1986 Wed 23-Jul-14 20:57:34

Thinking of you - sorry things are tough at the moment. Hope everything stays ok with baby - keep us updated xx

Thumbwitch Thu 24-Jul-14 00:21:58

What a revolting specimen your FIL sounds, MrsK. sad

Good luck with the leasehold issue on the house but don't let it put you off nonetheless - you're too far down this road to give in now, aren't you? Especially with all the other stresses going on.

I do think that, even if your ghastly FIL does decide to sulk with your MIL, that your DH should still go and get your baby stuff - there are times that, really, they just have to be let to get on with it. In her situation just now, I think I'd be quite relieved if he stopped speaking to me! I know she probably wouldn't because she's obviously enabled his appalling abuse all these years, but that's her fault. And yes, that does sound very harsh but you need your stuff!

Thumbwitch Thu 24-Jul-14 00:23:05

Sorry, that sounds a bit "victim blaming" - I doubt it was easy to get away from abusive arseholes when she was younger, so I shouldn't have said "it's her fault". blush

mathanxiety Thu 24-Jul-14 00:36:10

MrsK, have you ever considered calling the police, or SS for elder abuse?

That is a situation of domestic abuse you are describing.

MrsKoala Thu 24-Jul-14 08:33:19

No - it's really complicated. Mil is her own type of difficult and can be extremely manipulative and lie if it suits her. They have always had this dynamic and seem to like it.

WHat is so hard for me is that they are so non confrontational. So you can't say anything to them directly or plainly. Everything has to be danced around and thought about. So we said to pils we were going to send all these meals for them and spoke to fil about learning to switch on the oven. Got all the normal nods and 'oh yes, of course'. Then the door closes and a week later we get a phone call/email from mil saying they don't want us to visit and not to send the food.

They are 4hrs away so not just a pop up the road.

What makes me laugh about them is they have actually suggested we all move in together. Not fucking likely.

MrsKoala Fri 25-Jul-14 11:23:42

Looks like we will now lose the house we were buying. I am so upset. I just want to go to bed and cry and sleep for ages. We have no where to live (other than this pokey impractical rental flat which is costing us a fortune) and have now been priced out of the market in the time this 'sale' has taken to fall thru (5 months).

I'm not sure how much more of this i can take. sad

JsOtherHalf Fri 25-Jul-14 11:34:37

Oh no. sad

MrsKoala Fri 25-Jul-14 11:38:52

Sorry. i know that was a really self indulgent and whiney post and i should just be be happy that the baby is okay and for what we have. But i just feel so exhausted with everything. I'm so sick of holding everything together. I really need a good hormonal cry.

Thumbwitch Fri 25-Jul-14 11:56:49

Oh no MrsK, that's so annoying, so sorry for you sad
Is this because of the leasehold issue or something else?

Well then have a good cry.
You really are going through it.
You WILL cope of course.
You WILL find a better house in due course.
Please do go to bed and hide away for a while.
All this must be very very stressful and you need to withdraw for a little while.
I'm sorry you are having to deal with so much shite all at once.

Lottapianos Fri 25-Jul-14 11:59:46

Jesus MrsK, I'm exhausted just reading your posts! I'm so glad your baby seems fine and so very sorry about your house purchase. You must be emotionally and physically shattered.

Your PILs sound like an utter living nightmare. I have a batshit family myself so not easily shocked but your FIL's behaviour is some of the worst control freakery I've read on here. Highly abusive stuff. Holding your baby stuff hostage? What is that all about?!

I'm very sorry about MIL but agree with other posters that you have to put yourself and your own family first. If FIL doesn't like it then he will have to lump it. He's a huge bully and needs your DH to stand up to him

JsOtherHalf Fri 25-Jul-14 12:00:53

You have had so much go wrong, in such a short space of time, that it is no wonder you feel like you do. Don't feel like you can't talk about it on here.

MrsKoala Fri 25-Jul-14 12:12:35

Thank you all - i thought i would get a flaming for being ungrateful.

Poor DS is watching abney and teal while i cry quietly into my cup of tea and search for other houses in the area.

I will try to get him to nap so i can have a lay down too. DH at work so no one to watch him while i wail. I also don't want DH to be more upset than he has to be at the moment. I mean his Mum's dieing fgs, so this must seem trivial to him - i don't think it does tho.

And, yes it's to do with the lease. The lender said they would happily lend on 65yrs as along as we looked into extending. Now it's come back as NR wont extend the lease, ever. So our solicitors have to legally inform our lender of this. It is doubtful they will continue to lend on the property in light of this information. Everything else in the area is at least £50-75k more.

Thumbwitch Fri 25-Jul-14 12:59:25

Oh no, stupid lender! Surely 65y lease is beyond the term of any mortgage, that sounds really petty. sad
I expect they're looking at re-sale possibilities, like you did, just in case you default or something and they have to repossess; but seriously, that's still just stupid.
I don't suppose you can look into another lender, can you?

MrsKoala Fri 25-Jul-14 14:03:43

Yes, it's the re-sale that will be the issue. Hardly any lender will lend on a lease under 60yrs, which means we'd have to sell it as gardenless. I am not sure how that would work tho. If we could wall off the end bit of garden and then sell it back to NR or something. It's just a massive legal headache really.

A flaming??
After what you've been and are still going through!?
Behave yourself.
You self pity and cry as much as you like.
I hope your DH can give you lots of hugs later.

I'm house hunting right now and the market is mad.
Good luck though.
thanks for you!

Maryz Fri 25-Jul-14 14:27:43

You are entitled to feel ungrateful - a week ago you were happily heathily pregnant and looking forward to moving house.

Then the baby decided to give you a fright and the house disappeared - that's the two most stressful major life events trying to go tits-up in the same week. It's not surprising you want to just cry.

How much garden are they saying they want to use? Any chance of them swapping 2/3 of the garden for 1/3 of the lease, so you build a wall 2/3 of the way down and they get to keep the rest?

The sellers won't be able to see to anyone else either I would have thought so they must be even more desperate than you are.

MrsKoala Fri 25-Jul-14 14:56:59

The garden is tiny it's about 3metres, so half of that would be lost. Also the vendors have built a little 'sun room'/conservatory on the back of the house which is illegal to the lease stipulations. Our solicitor asked for them to pay an indemnity policy in case NR were alerted to this and tell us to remove it (to cover the cost of removal) as there was no permission for the structure. But instead, the fuck wits contacted NR to get retrospective permission. Which of course was refused and alerted them to it anyway so we would now have to pay for a legal doc to be drwn up and the removal of it - if of course by some miracle Nat west will still lend to us.

Maryz Fri 25-Jul-14 15:08:44

Ok, if the garden is so small, can the railway do anything with it? There is a rule (might be worth checking legalities - or get the sellers to do so) about how close to buildings a railway can run.

The illegal extension is another matter and sadly probably a deal breaker. Unless they take the cost of demolition and sorting the garden off the asking price completely.

They won't be able to sell to anyone else, so you might be able to put pressure on for a significant price drop, which will make resale less of a problem.

Thumbwitch Fri 25-Jul-14 15:19:50

Ha if it wasn't for the price increase around, I'd be thinking about telling the vendors where to stick it after their stupidity!
But since they've done it now then Maryz's suggestion of dropping the price to take into account your extra expenses is good, always assuming that Nat West still agree to lend you the money. sad

I think NR are being bloody stupid too; either move the wall now or don't bother. They can't get much closer to the house as it is!

I really really hope things come good for you soon MrsK. x

MrsKoala Fri 25-Jul-14 15:35:55

They can't really do anything with it as in widen tracks/put another track down as there is no room, but they are refusing to extend for some reason. So that really is the bottom line. And no one else will get a mortgage on it if the garden is included in the property.

The 'conservatory' is not a massive problem as it is tiny (about 1 metre along the back of the house - i'm sure the owners thought they wouldn't need any kind of permission because the 'wall/brick' part is only about 2 ft high and then it's crappy brown pvc up to the top. We were planning on removing it next year any way as it takes up half the garden (the 3 metres of garden we have includes the area the conservatory takes up). But t adds legal hassle now. Rather than just paying the £50 indemnity policy they tried to be tight and have now added more problems.

The vendors seem clueless tbh. They judged the amount of work at £3k but in actual fact it was £16k - which the bank are with holding from the mortgage loan till we get done and they think it's obviously worth loads more than it is. It's a single older bloke who bought it as rental, has run it into the ground and not seen it for 10 years as he lives in Thailand but now needs the money to continue his lifestyle ( hmm )

I honestly think i am going to start accusing myself of being a troll as it seems like the most far fetched, convoluted, ridiculous scenario.

Also other houses on that side of the street have sold in the last 6mo. But their solicitors didn't enquire about extensions to the lease - so the lenders loaned on face value. For some reason we had the most thorough and conscientious solicitors and now they have an obligation to report it to the lender. So chances are if the vendor tries to sell again, as long as they don't enquire about extensions with NR he will probably sell it no problems.

As usual my life seems to be a series of bad luck choices/decisions which if we'd have just done something else (different solicitor/lender etc) the outcome would be completely different.


Thumbwitch Fri 25-Jul-14 15:39:37


MrsKoala Fri 25-Jul-14 15:46:17

i just want somewhere half decent to bring up my babies. it's not a mansion, it's not even got a garden. Just a standard 2 bedrooms and a tiny box room house. Small kitchen and bathroom. Needs lots of work. Nothing fancy. Just somewhere to put roots down. We have moved 8 times in the last 5 years. i can't do it anymore. WWWWAAAAAAIIILLLLL

Maryz Fri 25-Jul-14 15:57:57

You are going to have to let it go, aren't you sad

He'll never sell it.

<offers shoulder>

<offers gin>

<realises that gin is useless during pregnancy, and shoulder to cry on is probably even more useless>

<cries in sympathy>


MrsKoala Fri 25-Jul-14 16:04:07

Thanks. i really appreciate the shoulders. It's hard when you don't have sounding boards in RL. I am reluctant to rant to DH at the moment obviously, but i just feel like keeping it in is frustrating me even more.

I will definitely be having a big pint of cold lager or 3 when this baby arrives.

JsOtherHalf Fri 25-Jul-14 16:16:51

Would a virtual lemonade ice lolly help?

MrsKoala Fri 25-Jul-14 16:20:43

yes please, i ate my last magnum yesterday so have nothing nice to eat. Just had a nectarine - but i's hardly the same is it!?

On good news front DH has just bought us a car, so i should be able to leave the house without him soon hurrah! (once i practice driving with him of course).

We will go to the coast tomo to try to have a nice day out. smile

Maryz Fri 25-Jul-14 16:33:55

I was going to send find you an icecream, but my googling failed and I got this grin

MrsKoala Fri 25-Jul-14 16:42:39

ohhh shame it's not a bare chest shot! Don't get me too hot and bothered tho, it's hot enough as it is and i can't leap on DH sad

Maryz Fri 25-Jul-14 16:46:20

Oh my God. I found a bare-chested on, which led me to a site.

You may or may not want to look at this

I am off to bleach my eyeballs.

Though it does have a rather nice picture of Sean Connery if you want to be cheered up.

MrsKoala Fri 25-Jul-14 16:50:11

OMG i couldn't resist - Alec Baldwin was utterly sublime wasn't he? mmmmm i love a good hairy chested man - you were probably taking the piss with Tom Selleck, but you actually found exactly my taste grin perhaps not the moustache tho hmm .

MrsKoala Tue 29-Jul-14 18:52:10

Back in hospital. Started bleeding and just got rushed in by ambulance sad going to be here a while apparently. Got my canulas in and feeling sorry for myself. <wail>

Oh MrsKoala I'm sorry sad crapness strikes again. Those damn canulas! Hate them with a fiery passion.
What gestation are you now? I assume they are keeping you in for monitoring? <hugs>

Bubble7000 Tue 29-Jul-14 19:00:37

I know its a shit sandwich but OP it will be ok in end. You'll have a gorgeous baby and a much better house

MrsKoala Tue 29-Jul-14 19:02:43

34wks now. I was just posting on the house price thread and suddenly started gushing with blood. That'll teach me for getting all worked up!

Maryz Tue 29-Jul-14 19:04:55

Take it as a rest.

34 weeks with a big baby, and having had steroids, you will be fine even if the baby arrives tonight.

very worst case scenario is a couple of weeks in hospital being driven demented. You need an iPad, large quantities of M&S Food and a daily delivery of ice.

But you will be ok smile

The house can wait, really it can.

Thumbwitch Tue 29-Jul-14 19:05:49

Oh no MrsK! Sorry to hear that sad

Are they "wait-and-seeing" again, or are you more likely to be going for that CS now? At least you're in the best place to keep an eye on the baby and sort things out very rapidly if it becomes necessary.

Have a ((((hug)))) anyway. x

Thumbwitch Tue 29-Jul-14 19:07:02

And I hope your DH has managed to keep hold of his phone this time!

MrsKoala Tue 29-Jul-14 19:27:33

Cheers all. Having some light but regular contractions/tightenings so they are keeping an eye on it all.

dh and my dad brought ds over for a visit confused and he just wanted to clamber all over me and press the 'bundings' on the machines. I have had to ask them to leave.

Thumbwitch Tue 29-Jul-14 19:33:47

Oh no! could your Dad have not taken Ds for a walk and let you have some time with DH? Or is your Dad not up to that?

All the best, MrsKoala.

ItHasANiceRingWhenYouLaugh Tue 29-Jul-14 19:42:39

So sorry to hear this, Mrs K.

CuriosityCola Tue 29-Jul-14 19:46:41

Sorry you are going through this MrsK. Good advice below on taking it as a rest and gorging on amazing food. Just concentrate on you at the moment.

Whereisegg Tue 29-Jul-14 19:47:29

MrsKoala sad thanks

That's got to be it for you with the rotten luck now!

MrsKoala Tue 29-Jul-14 20:21:46

Dad has taken ds home and mum is on her way to supervise - my dad is really not up for watching him. Dh is here and has brought 'me' a book to read on the history of the ak-47 . Umm thanks my love! He's reading it now to ' check if its good' hmm

when waiting for the ambulance dad let ds unload shopping on the balcony and smash a jar of jam. Then when he went to let the ambulance people in he locked himself out confused

MrsKoala Tue 29-Jul-14 20:28:56

Contractions are getting stronger ��

ChatEnOeuf Tue 29-Jul-14 20:33:07

Good luck! Baby is better out than in if there's recurrent big bleeds thanks

Maryz Tue 29-Jul-14 20:36:48

So this is turning into a live birth thread.

Would it make you feel better if you knew we were all excited? Or does it just make you want to punch us through the screen?

I have to say, you need to hope for a girl: so far the men in your life haven't really coped too well with emergencies grin

ElephantsNeverForgive Tue 29-Jul-14 20:38:00

Good luck

ElephantsNeverForgive Tue 29-Jul-14 20:38:32

Good luck

ElephantsNeverForgive Tue 29-Jul-14 20:41:15

Good luck

ElephantsNeverForgive Tue 29-Jul-14 20:41:15

Good luck

FabULouse Tue 29-Jul-14 20:41:20

Oo very excited for you MrsK!

Keeping everything crossed for you.

Wolfiefan Tue 29-Jul-14 20:44:52

Wishing you and baby Koala the best. Xx

NewtRipley Tue 29-Jul-14 20:51:06

Good luck MrsK, and babyK

angelohsodelight Tue 29-Jul-14 20:51:07

Hope all goes well xx

Mumof3xox Tue 29-Jul-14 20:54:02

Good luck op!

MrsKoala Tue 29-Jul-14 21:01:41

Thanks all. It's nice to know you are all out there. If the contractions get stronger we may be having it today. The docs are coming round. The placenta has moved so it's only 2-3cm covering the exit. So in theory we could still have a vb. Fingers x.

Maryz Tue 29-Jul-14 21:11:08

Best of luck, either way flowers

QOD Tue 29-Jul-14 21:20:19

Fingers x'd xx

slithytove Tue 29-Jul-14 21:21:38

Good luck mrs and baby koala!
I'm 34 weeks too so have some understanding of how you are feeling.
Hope you get the vb you want and can show us squishy newborn pics tomorrow


CuriosityCola Tue 29-Jul-14 21:22:12

Good luck. You made me grin at the description of the men in your life. At least your toddler has an excuse!

Justanothernumber Tue 29-Jul-14 21:25:33

Good luck MrsKoala!! smile

RandomMess Tue 29-Jul-14 21:34:46

Good luck for a wonderful birth and a scrummy newborn x

MyFairyKing Tue 29-Jul-14 21:37:04

Fingers crossed for you and baby flowers

SilverShins Tue 29-Jul-14 21:37:18

I wish you all well MrsK thanks

Go mrs k and baby k!!! <waves Pom poms>

Fav Tue 29-Jul-14 21:58:26

Good luck thanks

Cocolepew Tue 29-Jul-14 22:05:44

Good luck Mrs K flowers

Shakey1500 Tue 29-Jul-14 22:09:08

All the best thanks

Blimey you've been through t'mill haven't you? I'm keeping everything crossed for you x

Rowboat Tue 29-Jul-14 22:36:23

Good luck Mrs k. Just put all other thought s aside and concentrate on you and your beautiful

MrsKoala Tue 29-Jul-14 22:36:24

Still having contractions. Been told that at the moment if the bleeding gets heavy (it's stopped for a while) or the contractions get stronger like labour then i will have to have a c section. The placenta is still too far over sad

BreadForBrains Tue 29-Jul-14 22:46:42

Crikey Mrs K, just read this whole thread for the first time right now.
Fingers very tightly crossed for the safe arrival of baby K. Keep us updated as and when you can thanks

HauntedNoddyCar Tue 29-Jul-14 22:52:03

Oh MrsK . Have been thinking about you. You're in the right place and the very best of luck to you both.

Rainicorn Tue 29-Jul-14 22:55:48

Thinking of you flowers. Good luck.

slithytove Tue 29-Jul-14 23:05:54

If a section is on the cards, perhaps start googling 'gentle' c sections, to try and make it the best experience possible.


JsOtherHalf Tue 29-Jul-14 23:16:02

Thinking of you. My CS was a very positive experience, despite being unplanned. You will need some help at home afterwards, especially as your toddler is very lively.

mistlethrush Tue 29-Jul-14 23:18:09

MrsK - I had a section. It wasn't on my birth plan . It wasn't what I wanted or hoped for, but DS got stuck. As a result of the section, I was safe and DS was fine. It was a means to an end - and the end bit was the only really important bit.

Sorry you've got so much on your plate at the moment.

Good luck

Toothytwo Tue 29-Jul-14 23:29:31

Hang in there, just read this thread, you're a brave lady smile

DrFunkesFamilyBandSolution Tue 29-Jul-14 23:43:48

Good luck x

BIWI Tue 29-Jul-14 23:49:42

Good luck xxx

SageYourResoluteOracle Tue 29-Jul-14 23:53:38

Oh gosh. Just checked in and spotted that you've been re admitted. Good luck! You'll be fine and baby marsupial will also be fine.

MrsSpencerReid Tue 29-Jul-14 23:57:38

I'm late to this bit I had an emergency section with ds1 at 34/35 weeks depending who's dates you go with! No steroids and I'm now suffering severe sleep deprivation thanks to my overly healthy wakeful toddler, we spent a week in hosp establishing feeding but I think that was more to do with the effect of my complex medical probs than him being early!! Good luck, will be thinking of you all

Thumbwitch Wed 30-Jul-14 00:01:20

Good luck, MrsK - whatever happens, I'll be thinking of you. 34w is generally ok to have a baby these days and CS will hopefully not inconvenience you too much if it comes to that.

WhatTheFork Wed 30-Jul-14 00:09:04

All the best x

middlings Wed 30-Jul-14 00:11:25

Good luck! We're all rooting for you xx

BewitchedBotheredandBewildered Wed 30-Jul-14 00:18:46

Just read thread too, such a huge amount of stuff to cope with all at once.

You are really brave and fabulous and you deserve some really good luck now MrsK.

Hope all goes well for you tonight, sending hugs and positive vibes.


AnotherStitchInTime Wed 30-Jul-14 00:50:05

Good luck MrsK, it will be fine. I had dc3 by c section last year at 34 weeks due to grade 4 praevia and percreta. I had steroids at 26 weeks after a massive bleed and was in and out of hospital (mostly in) for two months contracting and bl
eeding before delivery. Ds was fine, no SCBU and breastfed after two initial bottles (as I was still in theatre). Several ladies had similar whilst I was there. Babies born at 27 and 30 weeks now doing fine after NICU and SCBU stays. Baby born at 33 weeks no SCBU, breastfed, home within 5 days like me.

All the stress will be a distant memory soon once you are cuddling your newborn. Make sure they put you on a drip if you have been nil by mouth for a while otherwise you will get very dehydrated and low on energy.

MrsKoala Wed 30-Jul-14 02:48:03

Contractions stopped for a couple of hours. But have been woken up by them coming stronger.

the anaesthetist cane by and explained if i needed a section i would have a general and be knocked out with someone holding my throat to stop me vomming or a spinal. Both sound crap but the spinal would be best i think.

dh is snoring and i am bored.

MrsKoala Wed 30-Jul-14 02:51:28

On a drip. Id bloody kill for tea and biscuits now. Haven't eaten for 14hrs sad

Thumbwitch Wed 30-Jul-14 02:54:42

Oo that's not great, presumably they're trying to keep you nil by mouth because of the possibility of CS? In which case you wouldn't need to be held by the throat etc. under GA (14h is plenty of time to be nbm pre-GA!)

Or you could eat something - did your DH remember to bring you any food?

lettertoherms Wed 30-Jul-14 02:58:11

Oh MrsK, best of luck. I'm sorry you're going through this.

For the boredom - some good threads going in chat to read through. Cringe ex boyfriends, toddler wisdom, the roast chicken one titled something like "Am I going to die?" Er, actually the last one's funny but might not help your hunger. Are you allowed to eat?

Capitola Wed 30-Jul-14 03:09:14

Very best of luck Mrs K.

MrsKoala Wed 30-Jul-14 03:52:20

Only allowed sips of water. It's miserable.

Devilforasideboard Wed 30-Jul-14 05:43:26

Thinking if you MrsK. I had placenta previa and DS arrived at 36w after bleeding and some contractions. Once he'd been checked over we had skin to skin for the rest of the op and then for the rest of the night. I had a really good recovery and remarkably little pain and have everything crossed you'll be the same thanks

FabULouse Wed 30-Jul-14 06:01:57

Hugs to you.
Did you manage a little half doze at all?
I hope it's not too hot and sticky where you are.
Reckon today's the day smile

Sirzy Wed 30-Jul-14 06:17:10

Just caught up on the whole thread, what a shit time you have been having. Hope everything is going well with the labour side of things now x

northender Wed 30-Jul-14 06:27:22

Good luck MrsK

MontserratCaballe Wed 30-Jul-14 06:31:36

Thinking of you Mrs K flowers

NorksAreMesssy Wed 30-Jul-14 06:45:24

Sending love and very most bestest wishes and an easy birth for JoeyKoala
We are all here rooting for you and sending stretching and opening and relaxing vibes and breeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaatttthhhhiiiinhgggggggg.

good luck mrsKoala thanks

MrsKoala Wed 30-Jul-14 07:38:15

Morning all. Managed to sleep. Pains have stopped. Baby wriggling like mad
bi think its desperate to come out. We have no car seat tho (ours still with all our stuff at pils) so if it does come I'll have to send dh to biy another one. Will need to get a crib too. Trying to think of what else we'll need.

very hungry now . Still nil by mouth not sure how long they can starve a pregnant woman 'just in case' confused

Sirzy Wed 30-Jul-14 07:40:32

surely they realise your body needs some fuel? Hope they let you eat soon.

Do you have a pram/sling? Are you planning of breast feeding? Otherwise bottles/steriliser/milk


Thumbwitch Wed 30-Jul-14 07:48:15

Glad the pains have stopped - but they do need to make a decision on whether or not you can eat!

Is there a problem that means you shouldn't have a spinal if you need an emCS?

MrsKoala Wed 30-Jul-14 07:52:59

I'm hoping to bf. But last time i could only from one side and it was hard in the beginning as ds wasn't very sucky. So i pumped a lot - but i don't have my pump either. We have a travel system but the basinet is with all the other baby things.

Thumbwitch Wed 30-Jul-14 07:56:46

In all honesty, what would happen if your DH just took himself up to his parents and picked the stuff up? I really think he just needs to do that. How far away are they again?

MrsKoala Wed 30-Jul-14 07:56:58

If the bleeding starts heavily again they will just do a general and tube me and whip the baby out. If the contractions come hard and fast too. If its more of a trickle and build up then a spinal should be okay

dr will be coming at 9.30 and will make a decision on food and drink. Dh has gone off to get some breakfast the bastard!

Thumbwitch Wed 30-Jul-14 07:58:27

How unfeeling of him!
Unless he comes back with some for you as well of course, just in case grin

MrsKoala Wed 30-Jul-14 08:11:22

4hrs drive away. So he's reluctant to be away from me now. We were planning on just going this weekend. But i don't think i should travel. Also we aren't even sure where the stuff is as <deep breath> we stored it all in one area, labeled and easy for dh to just pick up. But then they let some random bloke who spoke no English move into the shed. He then moved all our stuff and went thru a lot of it to use and turn the shed into a little bedsit. So we have no idea where it is or indeed if its still even there angry

Thinking of you MrsK flowers

Thumbwitch Wed 30-Jul-14 08:13:00

Oh fuck, how fucking appalling of them! angry

No of course he doesn't want to be away from you for that long, sorry, I'd forgotten it was so far; and of course you can't travel at the moment!

Do you have any local friends (sorry, I'm sure you've already said, I'm being 'orribly lazy) that can lend you stuff for now?

MrsKoala Wed 30-Jul-14 08:21:23

Apparently he just left one day and the stuff is just everywhere. Fuck knows if anything has been taken as we haven't been allowed to go up. I reckon they know this and it's one of the reasons they wont let us up.

Thumbwitch Wed 30-Jul-14 08:24:54

What a pair of arses they are.

MrsKoala Wed 30-Jul-14 08:24:58

No, no friends to borrow from locally either. Nearest would be mk (about 2-3hrs away).

diddl Wed 30-Jul-14 08:29:15

Sounds traumatic to say the least.

Hope all goes ok.

Baby will maybe spend some time in hospiutal, so hopefully enough time to get organised.

My PFB was born at nome at 29wks.

i arrived at the hospital knickerless & in the (fortunately) long tshirt I had given birth in.

Had nothing at home at all.

Wickeddevil Wed 30-Jul-14 08:53:17

Good Luck Mrs K, with all if it, but especially with the safe arrival of baby K

BauerTime Wed 30-Jul-14 08:55:27

MrsKoala, all the best. Jsut read the thread and hope baby koala is doing ok

Sirzy Wed 30-Jul-14 08:56:55

any relatives who can go and deal with the picking up of things side of things?

Could you DH look on local fb selling sites to see if he can find any bits to tide you over til you get them? (obviously not car seat but everything else)

Good grief.
Just came on for a quick update and what a turn of events.
I have my fingers crossed for you.
And hope that baby koala is all good.
Thinking of you.

MrsKoala Wed 30-Jul-14 09:30:07

No. No one else who could collect it. As i say its all in a massive jumble now in their shed mixed with their stuff so it really needs us to get it anyway. Preferably me, because dh is incapable of finding anything at the best of times let alone under any stress. Sigh. I know mil is very ill so don't want to bother her, but we really need some bits otherwise it's £££ we don't really have spare. Its frustrating because i bought and kept all the stuff specially for use with all the dc. I packed it up lovely and now some random has probably been rifling thru it and its scattered everywhere. Fuck knows what will have happened to my beautiful wedding china, glassware and cutlery. sad

just had some breakfast and they are moving me to ante natal ward now. Removed one canula so it seems we have dropped down from high alert.

CarbeDiem Wed 30-Jul-14 09:50:29

Oh MrsK you're having an awful time of it thanks
Glad you've been allowed some food.
It's bloody ridiculous what's happened with your baby things sad You shouldn't have to but is there any used baby shops near you where your dh could grab essentials or even anyone on ebay locally where you could pick up stuff.
Take care xx

Psst - yes you little koala, I know you can hear me. Your mummy wants to meet very very much but not right now. It's awful out here - so sticky and clammy, you wouldn't like it so stay put for a few more weeks instead. Take care little one Xx.

diddl Wed 30-Jul-14 10:05:07

If I had anything that I could get to you I surely would to save you having to root through a shed at a place where you aren't welcome.

AnotherStitchInTime Wed 30-Jul-14 10:09:42

MrsK hopefully if you are off high alert then you will finally be allowed to eat. I spent weeks going up and down to labour ward with the same problem, the hard beds and not eating was tough going. You should have time for DH to pick up the car seat after the birth as you will likely be in for a few days recovering and making sure your baby is feeding OK etc. Whereabouts are you in the country?

MrsKoala Wed 30-Jul-14 10:28:05

My parents are going to stay till Sunday watching ds. So dh is going to do a dash to get the stuff this weekend. Fingers x all will settle and he'll have time to do a smash and grab. We have a big people carrier so i think he'll just load up as much as he can.

Sounds like a good plan.
Let's hope he can find all the bits and pieces you need.
I hope you are feeling OK now.

IvyBeagle Wed 30-Jul-14 11:00:45

I had placenta previa too, I had a general and all was well. they wanted to do a general because of the risk of bleeding. I actually found it to be a very good experience, much less stressful than I imagined! Good luck smile

Thumbwitch Wed 30-Jul-14 11:20:36

Oh good man and hurrah for your parents! Glad something has been worked out - now hopefully your ILs will make it relatively simple for your DH. Make sure you write him a list of all the essentials to take some of the pressure off his decision-making!

weebarra Wed 30-Jul-14 11:23:03

Glad the pressure is off a little! Yy to a very specific list for DH too, that should help. I hope you've managed to get some food.

diddl Wed 30-Jul-14 12:28:43

I also had PP.

Discovered at 28 wks, no longer in the way at 36wks.

If I had had a CS, definitely would have been GA for me.

Thought of being awake terrified me-although not as much as the thought of an epidural.

I have no idea how women have them.

MrsKoala Wed 30-Jul-14 12:49:01

Dh has just left and now I'll be here alone till Fri sad

he needs to take the car into the garage this avo to fix the breaks and wont pick it up till Fri morning. Dad is going back home to see to their dog and will also return friday. So it means no one will have a car to visit me in . Rubbish.

BellaVita Wed 30-Jul-14 12:58:13

Thinking of you MrsK x

Oh my - that is rubbish. It seems a very in-opportune time to get the car fixed, but if it's brakes then fair enough.
Do the garage fixing the car not have courtesey cars? Could he tug on their heart strings on this one?
Is the hospital far away then?
Can't remember from previous posts.
Are there no neighbours or friends he could borrow a car from?
Get a taxi?
Hire a car for 2 days?

RandomMess Wed 30-Jul-14 13:39:09


What a horrid experience all around.

Thumbwitch Wed 30-Jul-14 13:49:02

Oh no, it just keeps piling up doesn't it. sad

How are you, have you eaten? Have the contractions all stopped again?

MrsKoala Wed 30-Jul-14 13:55:02

We hired a car last week and it cost us £300 . We bought this car on Friday and on the way back from the dealer the brake lights started flashing so booked the car to go in today. Just our luck really, its not covered in the warranty so we will be more out of pocket to fix it. But if dh is to drive 4 hrs each way to pils this weekend then i think its important to have done. Taxi is £30 each way. We are absolutely pissing money away at the moment and i am desperately trying to rein it in. So we really cant afford the expense.

i feel so pissed off with everything i just want to give up. We were meant to have a consultant's app this morning to go over our old notes from ds birth. So dh had taken the morning off anyway. They told us the notes were here and now are saying they aren't. So dh took the morning off and dad come over to watch ds for nothing. Everyone is just shrugging and laughing about it when i question it. But I'm really fucked off about it. It was really important to us to go over it as its such a muddle and increasing our anxiety. They've only had 20wks to sort it out and now its too fucking late.

dh and i have had a row about money (him spending it all!) and feel like I'm the only one who cares or actually makes any kind of effort with anything. Now he's gone off and i am alone for 2 days with nothing to do. I just want to cry.

leadrightfoot Wed 30-Jul-14 14:00:06

Oh honey, it's all a lot of pants. One right after another.

Just re the car brakes it should have been of merchantable quality when it was so,d and a week of use it NOT acceptable or of merchantable quality so if you want to lash out get on the phone to the garage and give them HELL!

Fingers arms legs all crossed for you

MrsKoala Wed 30-Jul-14 14:00:59

Contractions stopped but i have a kind of constant period pain and some sporadic tightening discomfort. They reckon this is the uterus being irritated by the bleeding. Baby is wriggling and kicking like crazy.

i am waiting for a call from the bank with their decision on the house.

i want a holiday from being me.

Thumbwitch Wed 30-Jul-14 14:05:48

Yy, what Leadrightfoot says! If the car barely made it out of the dealer's yard before the brake lights went on then it can hardly be any fault of yours, and they should absolutely fix it - tell your DH to get on to them and threaten them with all sorts if they don't fix it pronto! Outrageous of them.

I know you're in a vulnerable state right now but you might have to go hormental on their arses if they can't sort you out properly - who the fuck says "oh your notes are here, oh hang on no they're not haha, how did we get that wrong, aren't we the silly ones! haha" (paraphrasing) especially while you're in with placenta praevia and bleeding at 34w pg! Does your hospital have PALS? Perhaps just mention to the next medic who sees you that you want to talk to PALS - that might gee them up a bit to get things organised better for you! BLoody arses. angry

I really wish I was in the UK so I could come and visit you myself. thanks

MrsKoala Wed 30-Jul-14 14:06:31

The garage reckon its not covered by warranty which only covers gear box and engine. Its only second hand and was 3k but still as dh was halfway home with it it started flashing and he called them from the side of the road and they said it wasn't covered. It only starts happening when you go over 40mph so he didn't spot it on the test drive. Nothing is going right. I know i sound melodramatic but i honestly feel as tho ive lost the will to fight or get angry anymore. I just want to disappear.

MrsKoala Wed 30-Jul-14 14:14:24

I know the notes are a bit irrelevant now as its doubtful we'd have a vb with all this anyway. But we really wanted to talk the experience thru. Especially for dh benefit as he bursts into tears every time we talk about it. I thought it would be good for us to get a bit of professional closure and perspective. They are just acting like its all in the past and not really relevant anymore. I just feel so dismissed and powerless. It probably is trivial to them but not to us.

that's nice thumb. Where do you live? Is it somewhere fabulous and glamorous?

MrsK Another voice here wishing you the best possible outcome, both for you and baby, and that your DH can rescue as much of your stuff as possible.

Sadly, my youngest is 10.5 now and I passed on the stuff I had long ago, or you would have been very welcome to use what you needed.

I've just googled pembury and it's too far away or I'd offer to come and visit.

MrsKoala Wed 30-Jul-14 14:20:55

Aww that's so kind of everyone. I feel like such a whinger. I'll be okay. Just tired i think. Sorry everyone.

MrsK, you're not a whinger, you just been dealt a crap hand at the moment.

You're entitled to feel like venting if you need. thanks

Thumbwitch Wed 30-Jul-14 14:24:42

Australia, Mrs K - very appropriate for your nn! grin

imustbepatient Wed 30-Jul-14 14:29:17

MrsKoala I'm so sorry to read what a completely shit time of it you are having. My heart goes out to you. There will be a time when you will look back on this and wonder how on earth you made it through, but you will. Even the feeling of despair you have now will be a slightly out of focus memory. Just hang in there and know that things will get better.

On the house thing, I hope you get good news from the solicitor re the bank, or can get a mortgage offer from a different bank with lending criteria that fit the offered lease period. Can your solicitor get in touch with NR's estates department directly, to see if he can get a better understanding of the reason they won't extend or to ask for a reconsideration? Any chance NR could be considering extending the railway via a compulsory purchase of houses in the area?

I also can't believe the vendors thought asking for restrospective consent for the conservatory would be cheaper. The surveyor's and legal fees would always have been more than the insurance premium you mentioned!

For the car warranty, get your DH to ask the garage for the exact written warranty details and ring the warranty provider directly. Otherwise yes, Sale of Goods Act etc and "fit for purpose" are words you should be repeating loudly to the gargage. Hopefully someone with better knowledge of consumer laws can post more details for you.

BTW I love your name, I call my DD2 my little koala because of the adorable way she clamps on to me. Just the way your little one will in the very near future. Sending you very best wishes and a huge amount of improved luck.

diddl Wed 30-Jul-14 14:34:48

It all sounds very stressful.

Can your parents have their dog at yours whilst they are there/

holyhell Wed 30-Jul-14 14:34:55

Ffs That's a horrible few days.
Thinking of you.xx

MrsKoala Wed 30-Jul-14 14:42:27

Dad has to be at the house tomo as they are having their doors fixed so he will bring the dog over Fri avo and they will stay with me till Sunday when dh will be coming back.

leadrightfoot Wed 30-Jul-14 14:49:34

Ok to be clear the warranty has less than nothing to do with goods being of merchantable quality.

The sale of goods act is very clear on this point. It sounds like a known fault by the dodgy dealer I am afraid. Make a hormonal emotional outburst call to your local trading standards office or drop them an email they will advise. But the long and a the short of it is YOU SHOULD NOT PAY FOR THIS

Sorry I can't help with pain or anything but you can always have a holiday from being you by opening up a whole can of seriously angry pregnant hormonal whoop ass and then reverting back to yourself might not make all the pants stuff go away but it is a break of sorts .....

PumpkinsMummy Wed 30-Jul-14 14:54:04

I've only just caught up with the thread. Poor MrsKoala you are having an awful time, feel free to whinge, I would be a simpering heap if I were you. I would visit but I live in Scotland. I will send you some imaginary shortbread tho.

Heathcliff27 Wed 30-Jul-14 14:58:04

Wow MrsK, just caught this thread for the first time, had no idea all this was going on! Hope your DH manages to grab all your stuff at the weekend and that babyK stays put for another few days for you.

MrsKoala Wed 30-Jul-14 15:05:04

The garage we have taken it into is local. We will have to pay and forward the bill to the dealers. I will see what they say when i do that on Monday.

thanks for the advice. I'll read up on our rights and litter my rantings with legalese. smile

slithytove Wed 30-Jul-14 15:08:48

Mrsk, request an appt with the supervisor of midwives while you are there, she will be able to help you with previous notes, and probably very quickly too. She can also be the starting point for a complaint.

slithytove Wed 30-Jul-14 15:09:26

Where in the uk are you mrsk?

MrsKoala Wed 30-Jul-14 15:15:22

Kent. I have asked for someone to come back to me about the notes as i really don't want to let it go.

Maryz Wed 30-Jul-14 15:15:53

Is it worth doing a mumsnetter shout-out for visitors to bring you cake and distract you?

I don't know where you are, but I assume it isn't Ireland or I'd offer.

Thumbwitch Wed 30-Jul-14 15:26:29

As MrsK has already mentioned the hospital she's in, I suppose she won't mind it being mentioned again - she's in the Pembury Hospital in Kent. smile

I'm in Kent. I can come tomorrow if you don't mind me bringing dd (3) along?

I can bring cake, do you need anything else?

MrsKoala Wed 30-Jul-14 15:34:30

I would hate anyone to put themselves out for me. But if anyone was bored and local then of course cake a visit would be lovely ;) but really no out of the way heroic efforts - I'd probably be quite boring and rambly anyway and not really much fun.

NewtRipley Wed 30-Jul-14 15:35:54

I think you are doing amazingly well in very trying circumstances. Bloody hell, if I were to whinge at you, you'd know you'd been whinged at grin

Thumbwitch Wed 30-Jul-14 15:37:36

MrsK - this is one of those times that local MNers really do shine at their best - do let them help out if they want to! smile

Clutterbugsmum Wed 30-Jul-14 15:41:40

MrsK I think you will find that MN's don't do "put themselves out for me" They Put themselves out to help people out as they know if they need any help other MN's will do the same.

Hope thing get better for you and your family soon.

MrsK, can you pm me with the ward, visiting times and your name please?

I'm not very far from you, and I promise not to turn up wearing a cape or anything. grin

Ah bless you.
I did an AA routplanner check earlier in case I could visit but alas, I am 2 hours away so just can't manage it.
But if anyone nearer can then take that offer and make the most of it.

MrsKoala Wed 30-Jul-14 15:49:00

Awww this is all so kind. You've all made me cry with your wonderfulness.

I'm gutted. I gave away a travel system a couple of weeks ago that was lovely, it might have helped you out.

I have an Amazonia baby hammock you can borrow if that's any help, but most of my baby stuff is gone now.

What's your stance on trashy magazines?wink

NewtRipley Wed 30-Jul-14 16:02:03

I have a travel cot that I want to go to a good home. It's maybe not an immediate priority item but it's really useful and in good nick

leadrightfoot Wed 30-Jul-14 16:04:05

Oh I am so sorry I can't get to you but I broke my ankle and can't currently get myself anywhere including up and downstairs sometimes
You go kick some butt you know you are right and have lots of lovely cake with fab MNers who haven't stupidly broken their ankle!

MrsKoala Wed 30-Jul-14 16:05:48

grin i quite like them but you might have to tell me who the people are. I'm a bit clueless since ds was born.

we bought a second hand double buggy which apparently goes from birth and the lady kindly gave me a little cocoon thingy which straps in. We have the old vista basinet when dh comes back on Sunday. I am going to order a babybay sidecar cot now too i think.

mum has picked up some wee clothes in case the baby comes in the next few days. As ds wad over 9lb his 'little' clothes were never actually that little grin but i do have a few smaller bits from last time which we never used but bought just in case. Just hope dh can find them.

MrsKoala Wed 30-Jul-14 16:08:06

Oh no leadright. You poor thing. How did you manage that?

slithytove Wed 30-Jul-14 16:13:56

What are the main things you are missing? Perhaps you can post a list depending on what DH gets in his smash and grab.

Kiddicare are doing a massive closing down sale atm if you fancy a browse online, though it's better in store.

I'll get you a nice take a break too. That should take your mind off things.grin

Any particular type of cake? I'm a bit of an expert at buying making cake. smile

I make great cakes....

MrsKoala Wed 30-Jul-14 16:21:39

Ohhhhh i love a lemon cake. Or a carrot cake. Or an orange cake. Or an apple cake. Or a chocolate cake...umm all cake really blush

MrsKoala Wed 30-Jul-14 16:24:01

Mmmmmm yum! This is almost worth being in hospital!

CarbeDiem Wed 30-Jul-14 16:37:11

I have to say it, it's my first time and it just seems apt right now that I was almost in tears that MrsK will have a visitor and not be so lonely.

I knew you weren't near me MrsK as A) I remembered, from back on page 1 or 2 that you were south to me and B) Not many view my local hospital as a place they'd actually like to have their baby - else I'd also have visited.
I hope the lovely Catthiefkeiths cake will cheer you up and keep you going

MrsKoala Wed 30-Jul-14 16:37:35

I also feel i should warn you that i have done footner. shock the majority of the skin has gone but I'm still shedding slightly. I understand if you now reconsider wink

MrsK just caught up on your thread - sorry you are having such a tough time. Hang in there flowers

Nah, I'm a hardcore sporner me!

I've been considering it myself, so if I show an unhealthy interest in your feet it's not a fetish or anything! smile

MrsKoala Wed 30-Jul-14 16:54:36

Oh it really is fab. Everyone should defo do it. Dh is quite cross less than impressed. And has made me promise to warn him before i do it again and only wants me to do it in winter so i can wear socks.

MrsKoala Wed 30-Jul-14 16:56:39

Ive got a pic of my feet at the peak of rank on Saturday and it really is gross. grin

Thumbwitch Wed 30-Jul-14 17:01:22

WTAF is footner? confused

Put it up! grin

MrsKoala Wed 30-Jul-14 17:17:33

I would but i cant do it from my phone. Ill show you tomo.

footner is a thing where you buy 2 plastic sock things filled with a kind of corrosive gel. You put your feet in them for an hour then rinse it off and then about 4 days later all the skin peels off your feet and you look proper manky. But you are left with lovely soft feet underneath. You do shed skin everywhere and have to change the bedding a bit. Your dh may refuse to come near you or go put with you wearing sandals but its totally worth it grin

Thumbwitch Wed 30-Jul-14 17:23:05

Oh ah, it's that thing, is it? <shudder>
Doesn't it hurt? think I'll stick to my bodyshop faux pumice thingy, ta! grin

BreadForBrains Wed 30-Jul-14 21:24:57

MrsK, glad your baby koala has stayed put for the time being. Do you have a local Facebook group that you could have a hunt through for baby stuff should you need it? Or else Freecycle?
I got rid of all my baby stuff before it gathered dust (each of the 3 times!) but gave it all away as I was happy to declutter. I imagine many people feel the same way about their baby stuff and would be delighted to see it go to a good home smile

MontserratCaballe Thu 31-Jul-14 06:24:14

How are you feeling this am, MrsK? I hope you got some sleep and are in good spirits. I have longed to do footner for ages, but I tend to wear flip flops most of the summer and think I might repel people on the tube. Good to hear it works.

Bummer on the car. You need to have a good pregnant rant about satisfactory quality (which includes safety - car not safe with bad brakes) and the car clearly isn't SQ if the brakes are dodgy within days of it being bought. When did he buy it? Legally SQ is an important term of the contract so he could reject the goods (give car back) if fault appears within reasonable time since he bought it. This might not be an option in your circumstances but is quite good ammunition for any arguments you need to have.

I am afraid my youngest baby is now 5 so i don't have any baby stuff left. I agree that freecycle and gumtree might come up trumps.

Hope your day goes well and you get some (reasonable) food. Cake and a visitor sound like just the ticket flowers

MrsKoala Thu 31-Jul-14 07:13:53

I had a good sleep and feeling better today (first full 8 hrs in yonks i think). Baby fine but the head midwife just told me they may want to keep me here till the baby is born eeeek. Wtf do you do with your other children in that case?

does anyone know if there are any emergency nanny services that you can register with and call for someone to come out asap? I think we may need to look at having someone on call at all times till ive had this baby. Ds has never been left with anyone yet too so i am worried about how he would respond, if we have to leave him with a stranger. sad

Bimblepops Thu 31-Jul-14 08:16:49

Hi MrsK,
Sorry you're having such a harrowing time. Good to hear you had a good sleep last night.
I can't help with any childcare/nanny information, I'm afraid. But I have got lots of baby stuff - Maxicosi car seat, Amby Swing Nest, Moses basket with rocking stand etc. Am happy to send it down to you if you need it, following DH's smash and grab this weekend. Am just up in NE London, so could also conceivably zip down to deliver stuff next Tuesday (my next child-free day), if needed.
Hope baby stays put for now and you have a good calm next few days.

Thumbwitch Thu 31-Jul-14 08:35:04

How long can your parents stay down, or even just your mum MrsK? are they nice helpful parents or the sort who begrudge helping, will do it at a push but then moan forever after?

AnotherStitchInTime Thu 31-Jul-14 09:06:25

MrsK when this happened to me I had to stay in for most of the time, but even when I was out I had to be chaperoned at all times as there is a risk that you can bleed very badly and not have time to call 999 and open the door for the ambulance. Originally we planned for my mum to have my other two kids, but she couldn't really cope so DH took parental leave and we claimed ESA. You could arrange a temporary nanny now if they let you out so that ds could get to know them should you go back in again. They might not want to let you out if you have been having lots of heavy bleeding plus it depends on how far you are from hospital. They only let me out as I was 5 mins by ambulance froma tertiary maternity/nicu unit that could deal with an emergency.

MrsKoala Thu 31-Jul-14 09:37:15

My parents are very good they are happy to help and adore ds (and me). But mum still works full time and has had to take 6 days off over the last couple of wks. She is an md tho so has the authority to take time off. But obviously has staff to look after and minimal work to do (she basically has to be in on Tuesdays to sign off and process all the payrolls and time sheets). They would be happy for me to go and stay with them (dad semi retired) but this would be difficult if/when i do go into labour as it's about an hour and a half drive away and not the most practical house to have a baby and a toddler. To add to it dh cant stay much as he is allergic to their dog (a grumpy old spaniel which they treat as their baby which is also another issue with pokey fingered ds).

we live about 20-30 mins from the hospital and realistically after both bleeds it took between 1-2hours to get here, and that was with someone already at home to watch ds. If it happened when dh was at work it would be at least 3hrs before someone could be here with me to take ds.

MrsKoala Thu 31-Jul-14 09:53:19

HURRAH! just called the bank and apparently my appeals have been reviewed and accepted and they have now agreed the mortgage. So it looks like we will have the house. I am so relieved and happy in crying. I cant believe it. I was resigned to having lost it. The bank seemed so adamant last time, i had to beg them to just reconsider. Thank god i did. They are being all nonchalant now, 'yeah, no problem. Formal letter being sent out today, anything else we can help you with? confused